Let slip the dogs

YESTERDAY'S debate about the federal government's role in the non-staving off of the Qantas debacle.

DURING yesterday's debate about the federal government's role in the non-staving off of the Qantas debacle, there was a certain inevitability to its harking back to the fun days on the wharves under Chris Corrigan.

But unless we missed a stray rottweiler as we sprinted for an emergency cup of Lan-Choo, "dogs and balaclavas" amazingly didn't make an appearance until 36 minutes into question time, and that was courtesy of Julia Gillard. That Peter Reith's name wasn't invoked for another 13 minutes was another surprise, though when it came, it was wielded with a certain twinkle-eyed joy by Simon Crean, albeit without the aid of a burning effigy. For good measure, Crean chucked in "scab workforce" at no extra cost, leaving Speaker Harry Jenkins to deal with the aftermath: "Or-duh! The house will contain its excitement." And contain its excitement it did, as the next speaker was Warren Truss.

Lords of the ring

WITH much of the Qantas talk revolving around who got on the blower to whom and when, we were delighted to learn that on Sunday Tourism Minister and consonant filter Martin Ferguson was in the tent with another airline. Literally: Mar'n was in the Emirates marquee at Flemington for Derby Day, glued to his mobile over you-know-what. But was anyone across the forensic detail of phone calls the way Anthony Albanese was during his appearance on 7.30 on Sunday night? Asked if Qantas chief Alan Joyce had called him personally, Albo responded, "Yes, he did. He returned my call. The process was someone from -- a Qantas representative rang someone from my staff. They rang me and said that Alan would be calling me. That's not unusual in terms of arrangements to check that I was available. He -- I rang him when the phone didn't ring after a period of time and he rang me back." No further questions about the phone call, yer honour.

Mr Katter regrets

ONE side effect of the down-to-earth kangaroo: Bob Katter, who was meant to be joining his fellow independents in Canberra for dinner with same-sex marriage advocates, was stranded in north Queensland. (Perhaps this is what Kings of Leon drummer Nathan Followill had in mind when he tweeted, "Dear Qantas, U suck." Then again . . .) His Bobness's office says: "We have sent apologies to Australian Marriage Equality and asked that they please pass on a message to one of our constituents, who is one of AME's invited guests, to please convey Bob's apologies but that he would be delighted to meet with our constituent at another time."

Hit the road, Jack

ENOUGH disappointment. It's November, which means the publication of Grahame Bond's autobiography, Jack of All Trades -- Mistress of One. Here's Bond on winning a Logie in 1973 for The Aunty Jack Show, blissfully if temporarily unaware of how seriously the industry took itself: "As Rory (O'Donoghue, aka Thin Arthur) and I made our way to the stage, we received our award from the special guest presenter Gina Lollobrigida. As I moved on I began to 'tear up', and by the time I got the microphone I was veritably heaving with emotion. I began my acceptance speech with, 'Winning this Logie,' sniff, 'is the most exciting thing to happen to me . . . today!'

"Rory responded, 'Oh yeah, what about the trip down in the plane?'

" 'No, he's right,' I agreed. 'That was very exciting.'

"Rory continued, 'And the girls we met in the lift?'

" 'OK,' I said. 'Let me rephrase that. Winning this Logie . . . is one the most exciting things to happen to me . . . today!' "

As Bond writes, this went down well with everyone bar TV Week: "One of the publishers snapped at me, 'You ungrateful shit. We've given you an award and this is the way you treat us. We'll never write another article about you again.' And they didn't. They banned me. . . . Things changed from that day on and television was never as much fun."

Riddler on the hoof

AS for that event at Flemington this afternoon, one federal Coalition MP was able to get some political mileage out of it yesterday with his tips. Here's a small selection from Craig Kelly, member for Hughes: "Do not overlook Modun, named after a former Mongolian emperor who in the year 209BC seized power after shooting an arrow into the back of a former leader. And then there is Tullamore, named after a beautiful town in the central-west region of NSW. Tullamore is just a couple of stops along the train line from Bogan Gate, so I would expect to see some late money coming in from the office of the Minister for Foreign Affairs."

Job lot

THANKS to everyone who sent in applications for the position of media adviser to deputy Speaker Peter Slipper. Some we might have just got away with under parliamentary privilege but, while generally respectful of the 25-word limit stipulated by the ad, most were not publishable. Luckily, Peter Dighton obliged us with one that was: "Dear Peter Slipper / Your image needs to be hipper / I am a sentence clipper / Not a latte sipper /CV is a ripper / Attitude chipper."