Kumbaya kid

IN the time it takes light to travel from the moon (about 1.5 seconds, according to Strewth's mental arithmetic), South Australian Liberal MP Christopher Pyne has plunged into the new paradigm, that earthly political paradise promised by Queensland independent Bob Katter and quickly adopted by Julia Gillard as a catchphrase to match forward movement.

IN the time it takes light to travel from the moon (about 1.5 seconds, according to Strewth's mental arithmetic), South Australian Liberal MP Christopher Pyne has plunged into the new paradigm, that earthly political paradise promised by Queensland independent Bob Katter and quickly adopted by Julia Gillard as a catchphrase to match forward movement.

Treasurer Wayne Swan had barely wiped the breakfast cereal from his lips yesterday when Pyne began his one-man robo-demolition drive at all things to do with our new minority-style government. Swan has already wedged the independents, apparently. "Labor is already sliding away from the deal they made with the country independents. But because they are supporting the wrong party there is very little they can do about it." We've got to hand it to Pyne: he never gives up. "This will not be a parliament where all of history is turned on its head and we all sit around smoking the peace pipe and singing Kumbaya."

Long march

REGARDING the excruciating press conference featuring Rob Oakeshott and Tony Windsor on Tuesday - excruciating for its long-windedness - Strewth can reveal that Oakeshott got lost on the way to the Announcement. Some may say he got lost in a metaphorical sense some time last week, and that this explains a certain discombobulation to be seen around the member for Lyne. The facts are that one of our more persistent reporters followed Oakeshott from his office asking questions as they went. This apparently rendered the MP disoriented and unable to remember where the committee room was. He walked up the stairs to the next level and down the wrong corridor before being put on the right track by our pesky hack.

Greens decorum

NOW that Greens leader Bob Brown has acquired himself a fully-fledged political party, it's time for a bit of renovation in their parliamentary digs. In July next year senators-elect Larissa Waters, Richard Di Natale, Penny Wright and Lee Rhiannon will swell the numbers to 10. Which means the old four-person card table will have to go and a proper round table wheeled in to the partyroom. The wallpaper will have to be replaced for something suitable for regency soirees. Strewth can image that one of the first items on the agenda will be to decide on a colour scheme. "We will be redecorating. But the best decoration of the lot, and I use this in a positive sense, is having 10 of you at the table," Brown says. So, senator Sarah Hanson-Young and new MP Adam Bandt are positively decorative.

Sweet but no junket

SOUTH Australian Premier Mike Rann has gone to India. It doesn't seem that long ago that he was overseas on a trade and investment mission, travelling alone and only communicating home via Twitter. But this trip is different, we think. In Delhi, Rann has a series of meetings and functions (a business lunch, a cocktail party and a meeting with Delhi's Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit). Then he heads off to Amritsar, near the border with Pakistan, and Amritsar's fabulous Golden Temple for further meetings with business people. We understand this is not, repeat not, a junket. And neither is it an attempt to distance himself from an expected horror budget next Thursday.

Date with Boredoms

WHY does the drummer knock on the door? Because he doesn't know when to come in. That's just one of about 10,000 drummer jokes. Japanese drum outfit Boredoms is coming back to Melbourne, though it's not known if the group will crack a funny. What is known is that they will be thumping drums celebrating a date. On the 07-07-07 at 7.07pm, Boredoms co-ordinated 77 drummers to perform for 77 minutes. On 08-08-08, 88 drummers in Los Angeles and New York did two simultaneous 88-minute performances. Perhaps readers have got the drift. The 10th day of the 10th month 2010 is approaching. Yep, 10 drummers will thwack the skins at Melbourne's Forum Theatre celebrating a date.

O'Farrell fear factor

DID NSW Opposition Leader Barry O'Farrell wake in a cold sweat yesterday? He's looked at the federal voting trends and thought, hang on, this streak of independence could smack me in the mouth next March when the state election is due. "The lesson for me from here is to ensure that people understand that in NSW, at the next election, a vote for an independent candidate, a vote for a Greens candidate, can be a vote for the return of the [Kristina] Keneally Labor government," he postulated on Macquarie Radio. This is otherwise known as a scare tactic.

Smart bear

IN a playground in Wangaratta, Victoria, a statue of Yogi Bear surveys the swings. When it floods, locals can tell how bad things are by observing whether the water reaches Yogi's eyes: that means a big flood. This week, Yogi disappeared beneath the rising Ovens tide: serious flood. When the waters receded yesterday, Yogi was wearing goggles with snorkel.