Heeeere's Tony

TONY Abbott, you may have gathered, is having a little problem with perceptions of negativity.

Tony Abbott

TONY Abbott, you may have gathered, is having a little problem with perceptions of negativity. For instance, the nickname of Dr No, and the freshly coined "Noalition", as bellowed by Anthony Albanese during censure motion No 53,217.

And yesterday's question time was never going to be the time nor place the Opposition Leader was going to try turn this around. Not after that business of trying (if apparently not entirely succeeding) at staying awake in the lower house well into the wee hours while Labor and the Greens spirited the mining tax through; not even the presence of Wilson Tuckey in the public gallery was going to soften his spirits. Earlier in the day, Abbott gave a press conference, the question-and-answer segment of which could be paraphrased loosely as: "Are you negative?" "No." "Are you negative?" "No." "Are you negative?" "No further questions." So what's an Opposition Leader to do? Soften the hell up? Or should he just keep travelling down the negativity spectrum and go extreme? Behold this vision of the Iron Monk yesterday and in your heart you will find the answer. Look at him, nail gun at the ready, locked and loaded, and a Jack-Nicholson-in-The-Shining expression on his face that would send small children scurrying behind their parents' legs. We present to you: Dr Emphatic No.

Snooze flash

THE sleep deprivation was biting elsewhere. To wit, this mining tax press conference exchange between Wayne Swan and The Age's Michelle Grattan:

Grattan: "Mr (Bill) Shorten, can you just clarify, you were talking about the lost revenue with the 15 per cent concessional rate, can you clarify how much that would cost over the forward estimates?"

Swan: "I've got a figure in my head, Michelle, but I think we'll get it to you afterwards just in case. It's . . ."

Grattan: "Could you get it out of your head, perhaps?"

Swan: "We'll you know. It's only had three hours sleep, Michelle, so . . . It's a substantial amount of money anyway, Michelle, I can tell you that, over the forward estimates."

So you know we're in safe hands; we only hope he avoided operating any heavy machinery.

There's the rub

ISSUES of sleep possibly didn't have anything to do with Julie Bishop's efforts on Radio National Breakfast. Quizzed by host Fran Kelly about her leader's suggestion Julia Gillard had been "stalking world leaders in search of a photo opportunity". Bishop replied: "Well, Tony's been photographed with just about everyone from Barack Obama to the Dalai Lama to Warren Truss, so he clearly knows what he's talking about." Wait, no, she didn't say that at all. What Bishop said was more curious, starting off reasonably by saying it was fine for the PM to meet foreign leaders -- which is good coming from the nation's alternative foreign minister -- but adding it was more about how she met them. Then Bishop branched out a little, laughing as she went: "She was certainly rubbing up against every world leader she could find for a photo opportunity. We all saw that." Er . . . Moving on, here she is -- still on fire -- duelling with the PM in question time:

Bishop: "Embarrassing for you!"

Gillard: "The deputy leader of the opposition has just used the word 'embarrassing'. Yes, it is embarrassing."

Bishop: "Embarrassing for you, sweetheart!"

He'll learn

LATER in the afternoon, new senator Arthur Sinodinos -- watched from the gallery by his old boss John Howard -- gave his maiden speech. It was so grown-up, it was enough to give one the mental equivalent of the bends.

Sleighing 'em

IT'S been a while since Australia Post elicited a laugh from Strewth, though this is probably more a reflection on us than it is on them. Nevertheless, the mirth drought was broken yesterday when we learned that one of their Christmas-themed postage stamps portrays an improperly documented foreigner from the northern hemisphere wading ashore on Christmas Island. As Australia Post's website spells it out: "Father Christmas has taken time out to do some snorkelling before arriving on the island to be met by a number of excited crabs, birds and fish, including an eastern reef egret, a red-footed booby, a moorish idol and a whitelined cod." Serco employee not represented.

Berk to basics

WE'D like to imagine that somewhere yesterday, the fiasco-troubled Qantas PR team was dancing about in company pyjamas, giving thanks for the gift of Kyle Sandilands.