Harried mob

IN case you missed yesterday's bumpy instalment of the Harry Jenkins Show, the action may be summarised as follows:

IN case you missed yesterday's bumpy instalment of the Harry Jenkins Show (aka federal parliamentary question time), the action may be summarised as follows:

 a) let's not talk too much about the carbon tax before Sunday, lest we spoil the surprise; and b), Libs, get out! That is all, unless we also mention that Andrew Robb, one of the opposition frontbenchers who didn't get booted by the Speaker, cracked a funny. (It involved a post office and the carbon tax but, unlike pasta, wouldn't necessarily improve with reheating.) And Mental Health Minister Mark Butler said the words "mental health consumer", which at least had the benefit of letting us picture mental health as something you can buy in a shop, preferably in bulk and without the need for an Allen key.

Justice of the peace

LIGHT relief this week during the long-running trial of former NSW crime investigator Mark Standen, starring Justice Bruce James, Standen's barrister Mark Ierace and Crown Prosecutor Tim Game SC:

James: "Has somebody got a piece of equipment that's making that sort of noise?"

Ierace: "It sounds like an ever-reversing truck, your honour."

James: "Yes. There is nobody in the courtroom that has got it?"

Ierace: "I don't think it is in the courtroom."

James: "I have come to notice it. Anyway, go on."

Game: "You made it go away."

James: "It seems to have stopped."

Ierace: "I am in awe of your honour's power."

James: "It has started again."

Ierace: "Can I have exhibit 15?"

James: "Exhibit 15."

No vacancies

JUST in case you were entertaining the possibility of offering your services to Japan's TEPCO, the following message appears on the company's website: "Thank you for your interesting [sic, possibly] Tokyo Electric Power Co. About Recruiting: We are very sorry, but we are not recruiting personnel for Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station."

No footy in mouth

AS Alexander Downer would point out, a light-hearted moment in politics can come at a cost. It's a cost Victorian opposition consumer protection spokeswoman Lily D'Ambrosio is hell-bent on exacting with this press release: "Victoria's footy-obsessed Consumer Affairs Minister Michael O'Brien has been caught out on Twitter making a joke about the Tiger Airways debacle while his department does nothing to support or advise Tiger customers about their consumer rights." Bastard! "This weekend, while thousands of Tiger passengers were rethinking holiday plans, Mr O'Brien tweeted 'Tulla not only place Tigers grounded' -- following Richmond's loss to Carlton. The tweet was insensitive and totally inappropriate from the minister who is meant to protect Victoria's consumers in situations like this." And on it hurrumphs at some length. Right, on to serious matters now.

Austen powers

UNTIL Tuesday night, one thing Sandy Gutman (aka Austen Tayshus) hadn't done in his career (apart from make friends with some of the young folk at Brisbane's The Courier-Mail) was appear on stage with his mother. This glaring oversight was addressed on Tuesday night at the Sydney Institute. Gutman the elder spoke of a Sandy who was born nine years after his father Isaac was liberated from Bergen-Belsen and who grew into a shy, tall, deep-voiced, inquisitive and extremely unpredictable child. Yes, shy. For his part, Gutman the younger mused on the nature of German-Jewish relations (we'd quote him, but it's the sort of gag that makes some people nervous) and announced that his next project was a musical comedy about the mining industry, tentatively titled Sucking on China's Nipples.

Hughes two

JAZZ luminary Dick Hughes turns 80 tomorrow and will be seeing in the happy day by taking to the stage tonight at the 505 Club in Sydney's Surry Hills. He'll be joining daughter Christa Hughes (whom we describe as a performer in the same way we would have described Krakatoa as a bit feisty) and her band the Honkytonk Shonks. Then, for good measure, the Hughes musical collective will be off to the ABC studios on the weekend to start recording a new album. Whether it will feature anything like the beer-gargling solo that so memorably punctuated their 21st Century Blues remains to be seen.

Doing one's lolly

GRACING our desk yesterday, in an embarrassingly fleeting way, was a bag of lollies that somehow constituted a plug for something not noticeably lolly-based on the National Geographic Channel. Still, a nice thought, not least the small message in bold print on the back of the bag that declared, "Packed in a facility that handles nuts." Which strikes us as an appropriate note on which to sign off for four weeks and hand this space into the custody of our esteemed colleague Andrew Fraser and our similarly esteemed overlord Graeme Leech. Behave yourselves.