Good as his word

WHEN a new premier assures voters that not much will change, Strewth's heart sinks with disappointment.

WHEN a new premier assures voters that not much will change, Strewth's heart sinks with disappointment.

The sudden rise of Ted Baillieu had given us hope and optimism for fresh lines of inquiry, for surely the new Premier of Victoria would inject a new, erm, paradigm at the very least. But where would the idiosyncrasies emerge after years of John Brumby's dreary statements punctuated by "fantastic", as if to impart important, hitherto overlooked aspects of mundane events. Baillieu simply asserts there is an "awful lot of hard work" in front of his government. Then there was a streak of gold: he says there will be no axing of "Labor lovelies" from the Victorian public service. Since he must have meant Labor luvvies, do we have a language mangler whose malapropisms will become a joyous feature of public life? After all, there's got to be more in Baillieu than swimming laps.

On the money

ONE of the few euphemisms for politician is law-maker, a term universally used in the US to describe members of congress. Perhaps this occurred to University of Queensland postgraduate student Madeleine McKechnie, who has discovered that debt collectors describe themselves as financial counsellors or detectives rather than confess their calling. We understand: journalists sometimes call themselves writers; garbos are waste consultants; strike-breakers are industrial relations consultants; and so on. McKechnie says debt collectors change their job titles "in order to avoid the stigma" and make them feel better about their work.

Spanish flies

BUT by 2050, 10 per cent of those euphemisms will be spoken in Spanish, according to Cuban linguist Humberto Lopez Morales. The growing Spanish-speaking population in the US is the reason. Spanish is spoken by about 450 million people today, 6.5 per cent of the world's population. French will be spoken by 1.4 per cent in 2050 but English speakers will drop from 9 per cent to 5 per cent.

Fission frisson

THE leggy new colt from Kooyong, federal Liberal MP Josh Frydenberg, bolted out of the starter's gate bright and early yesterday morning, offering The Australian an opinion piece calling on Labor to stop running away from a debate on the use of nuclear power. Unfortunately, it was Frydenberg who had to do a disappearing act when his canny leader Tony Abbott got wind of Frydenberg's ambitions and asked him not to write on the ultra-sensitive subject because it is a debate he wants to leave with Labor. Strewth supposes Abbott could be thinking he should let the Labor Party tear itself apart on this topic.

Boat's a bargain

THE British aircraft carrier Invincible is for sale. It's only 30 years old but has been tested in the 1982 Falklands War and should be a bargain. Just the job for the Australian navy still struggling to repair its rust-buckets the Manoora and Kanimbla, bought second-hand from the US. No price has been set but it's sure to be less than the $500 million Malcolm Fraser's government was prepared to spend in early 1982 when the British wanted to offload the ship. Had it not been for the sudden need for an aircraft carrier to help repel the Argentinian invasion of the Falkland Islands, the Invincible would have replaced the old carrier HMAS Melbourne and been renamed HMAS Australia.

Creature comforts

THE top 10 richest entertainers have a new No 1, the team behind Walking with Dinosaurs' production company, Global Creatures. An estimated 6.6 million people have seen the live show, which has earned $140 million and generated ticket sales worth $350m. Second is the indestructible-no-matter-how-hard-you-try band AC/DC with $131.4m. Coincidently, drummer Phil Rudd was yesterday convicted of cannabis possession in a New Zealand court. His lawyer Craig Tuck told Tauranga District Court that Rudd spent nine months travelling with AC/DC last year, earning $NZ400m ($310.66m), which doesn't square with BRW's numbers. The Wiggles are third ($33.5m) and Hugh Jackman fourth ($21.5m). Nicole Kidman slipped to 10th ($9.6m) but hubby Keith Urban brings home the bacon at fifth ($20m). Others who have done all right are Paul Dainty ($15m), Naomi Watts ($11.9m), Cate Blanchett ($10.8m) and Hi-5 ($9.7m). Celebrity chef Curtis Stone shows it's a good time to be in the cooking caper after entering the top 50 for the first time. Actor Anthony LaPaglia has dropped out of the list after his television series Without a Trace was canned. Brisbane twins Lisa and Jessica Origliasso from the Veronicas did not make the cut this year.

Postman Scrooge

AUSTRALIA Post expects about 120,000 children to write to Santa in the next two weeks and is urging youngsters to post their letters now so Santa can reply before Christmas Eve. All letters received by December 17 will receive a reply. You must affix a 60c stamp. The address is North Pole, 9999.