Getting Nicked

ONE role we'd never pictured independent South Australian senator Nick Xenophon playing was that of a managerial grim reaper, but there he was yesterday trying first to promote former Tasmanian opposition leader Michael Hodgman, then knock him off altogether in a batch of not quite fully baked press releases.

ONE role we'd never pictured independent South Australian senator Nick Xenophon playing was that of a managerial grim reaper, but there he was yesterday trying first to promote former Tasmanian opposition leader Michael Hodgman, then knock him off altogether in a batch of not quite fully baked press releases.

The first correction to brighten our inbox read thus: "Please be advised of an urgent correction to this morning's media release, 'Tasmanian Liberals must support Greens' $1 bet limit on poker machines', which referred to the late Michael Hodgman. It should have read 'Will Hodgman'. Our sincere apologies for this error. The mistake was made at an adviser level." Ooh, ouch. But late? The "urgent correction" was soon followed by an optimistically titled "final correction": "Our apologies again. Michael Hodgman retired in November 2009, and the reference to 'late' was again a mistake made at the adviser level." Hodgman took it philosophically: "I am very, very much alive and I expect to remain alive for quite a considerable time." We asked a Xenophon adviser whether we could have one more correction to make it a neat trifecta; you may be pleased to know that precisely no taxpayer-funded man hours were expended replying to us.

Fly away, Peter

THE role played by former Queensland premier, present state trade commissioner to the Americas and eternal media strumpet Peter Beattie in helping Virgin Blue establish itself in Australia was so long ago it has begun to acquire a sepia tinge, but it's clearly still fresh in the mind of emeritus Qantas chief executive Geoff Dixon. At the farewell shindig for retiring Virgin boss Brett Godfrey at Sydney's Ivy Room the other night, Beattie spoke via the magic of a pre-recorded video all the way from Bogota. Afterwards, Dixon shared with the crowd his apparently cherished hope that Beattie might get lost in Colombia.

Broad church

OPINION may have been somewhat split by South Australian Liberal senator Cory Bernardi's French-flavoured essay calling for the banning of the burka (at least he wasn't cracking a Bindi Irwin gag), but Strewth salutes him for bringing one of the finest expressions in the English language back into circulation in the very first paragraph: "The burka is no longer simply the symbol of female repression and Islamic culture, it is now emerging as the preferred disguise of bandits and n'er do wells." Hopefully the presence of n'er do wells means we can soon look forward to the appearance of blackguards and rapscallions, and perhaps some other choice if slightly mildewed expressions, such as gadzooks and zounds. In the meantime, we asked Bernardi if anti-burka souvenirs were likely to appear alongside the small but rich range of Bernardi merchandise (coffee mugs, baseball caps, you name it) on his personal website. With much mirth he replied, "No, mate, it's unlikely." Happily, one of the places he posted the essay was on conservative website Menzies House, just under its proud slogan: "There's room for everyone."

Toad for the road

THE government's war against the fat cats of ore has spread to Wikipedia and its entry on superprofit. It begins: "Superprofit . . . is a concept in Karl Marx's critique of political economy, subsequently elaborated by Lenin and other Marxist thinkers." To this, Wikipedia user "Intelligent Mr Toad" added an elaboration: "It has since been used by many politicians as a justification to increase taxes, most recently in May 2010 by Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, who has proposed a new tax on Australia's mining companies who make 'superprofits'." It lasted a day and a half until the forces of Wikipedia consigned it to the dustbin of history with the tart note: "Kindly make political points elsewhere."

Digital disconnect

WHILE Stephen Conroy busied himself yesterday with the national broadband network (which The Australian's Ray Strange wants renamed Building the Broadband Revolution for brand consistency's sake), we visited the website of Conroy's Department of Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy and dialled the 1800 number listed. It is a free call as advertised, though not necessarily as intended, for this is the message that awaits you: "Optus regrets that the number you have dialled is disconnected." So while the broadband part of the department is trundling along, the communications bit is letting the side down a tad. As for the last part, perhaps it's called the digital economy because it's the part of the economy that gives you the digit.

A big and for Joe

OUR Department of Brief But Telling Exchanges presents Joe Hockey and Barrie Cassidy on Aunty's wireless division in Melbourne yesterday:

Cassidy: "But I think under the regional rorts program 19 out of 20 Coalition marginal members were delighted with it."

Hockey: "Yeah, yeah, well because it actually delivered real things for the Coalition."

Cassidy: "Yeah."

Hockey: "And for, and, and, and, and real things for their communities."