George Christensen’s water push before the big wet

George Christensen’s website is still exhorting us to ‘Help secure water for Townsville’.

Perhaps it would be a good time to tweak George Christensen's website.

As Scott Morrison inspected the flood damage around Townsville, he allowed himself the odd note of cautious optimism amid the inundation. “I am pleased to see the waters are starting to recede,” the Prime Minister told media. “Where we have been driving today … 24 hours ago this was all under water.” One of those with the PM was Coalition backbencher George Christensen. Eerily, if you go to his website you are still greeted by the vision of Christensen gazing across to a photo of the wet stuff pouring from the end of a pipe. Emblazoned across this photo is the message “Help secure water for Townsville”, accompanied underneath by what, in hindsight, looks like a slightly ominous prophecy: “Coming soon.”

No looking back

The royal commission into the financial sector is having all sorts of effects. From Bill Shorten it has elicited something akin to poetry: “Well, first of all, let’s start with the royal commission. Difference? The difference is between daylight and moonlight, daylight and night-time.” And from Josh Frydenberg, magical realism — at least when he went on 7.30 with Leigh Sales.

Sales: “Was the Coalition wrong to strenuously oppose the royal commission into banking for as long as it did?”

Frydenberg: “Oh, we can debate for hours what Labor failed to do when they were in government.”

Sales: “No, I’m asking about you.”

Frydenberg: “I’m looking to the future.”

And so he is.

It has also yielded a solid entry in the genre of press conferences where the audio is so shoddy it bamboozles the transcriber. It was a presser by shadow treasurer Chris Bowen, the transcription of which succeeds in not recording any questions. A case of Bowen in the wind? Some highlights.

Journo: (inaudible)

Bowen: “As many as it takes (inaudible). We are the party (inaudible) …”

Journo: (inaudible)

Also:

Journo: (inaudible)

Bowen: “The royal commission hasn’t set a timeframe (inaudible).”

Journo: (inaudible)

On it goes in escalating enigma.

Journo: (inaudible)

Bowen: “Nice try, mate.”

We’ll skip to the symmetry of the ending: “Nor should we provide commentary on the independence of interest rates, I haven’t done so for six years. Wayne Swan didn’t. Peter Costello didn’t. Other treasurers haven’t and I wouldn’t (inaudible).” Five stars.

Within earshot

Malcolm Turnbull had a few things to say when pressed by the fourth estate yesterday. Among them: “Julia Banks is an outstanding parliamentarian … I believe the people of Flinders will have a very stimulating contest between her and Greg Hunt and no doubt the other candidates.” For Liberal ears, none of this proved even remotely inaudible.

A loos-loos scenario

After Strewth’s visit to Tony Abbott’s Whitlamesque call for more dunnies at his surf club, we copped a cudgelling from his fans. Curiously, it was our description of him (clad in Speedos, lanyard and concerned expression) as “semi-naked” that put most noses out of joint. Like those loos, we slog on undeterred. As for the pros of being actually starkers, here’s a bit from our esteemed colleague Dennis Shanahan’s 2016 piece about Turnbull: “The PM was thinking of his own time as a volunteer surf lifesaver, and he harbours fond memories of a culture that evokes happiness, service, summer, health and an ‘egalitarianism’ where communal showers are shared by Supreme Court judges, captains of industry, garbos and policemen who couldn’t recognise each other in the city ‘with their clothes on’.”

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