Game of thrones

THE last time Strewth lobbed in Canberra, the Parliament House lawn was adorned with members of the Convoy of No Confidence.

Rob Oakeshott

THE last time Strewth lobbed in Canberra, the lawn in front of Parliament House was adorned with members of the Convoy of No Confidence, a moving if undersized spectacle.

When we arrived yesterday morning, by contrast, the lawn was adorned with a comedy prop toilet, a moving if oversized spectacle. Even more happily, it was at one stage adorned with a regular-sized Rob Oakeshott; in one fell swoop, the Steve Fielding-shaped hole in Strewth's heart was filled. Behold his windswept hair divested of its temporary flush of red (Strewth, Saturday). From the expression on his face here, he doesn't appear, if we may use a maritime metaphor, to be enjoying a smooth passage. It would be remiss of us to not mention Oakeshott ascended this giant porcelain throne to help publicise the campaign by Voices for Justice to highlight the link between access to sanitation and preventable deaths among the world's poor.

Sense in absence

SOME would call it a most remarkable set of coincidences, timing, surgery and professional jetsetting, others would call it, if we may borrow from Freddie Mercury, a kind of magic. Either way, the notable absence from every question time involving the Malaysia Solution has been Kevin Rudd -- he who warned of his party lurching to the Right on asylum-seeker policy. Well done, minister. Though we reckon Chris Bowen may have appreciated the company when he was left all but alone to enjoy a little post-question time argy bargy with the opposition.

Seeker ye shall find

WHILE her predecessor demonstrated one skill by his absence, Julia Gillard used question time yesterday to give a masterclass in alchemy. No matter how unpromising the raw materials of the questions thrown at her -- allegations of corruption in the Health Services Union, the possible impact of a carbon tax on Victorians -- the Prime Minister was able to convert them into an answer that somehow involved asylum-seekers.

Matter of choice

THAT wasn't the only language magic in play yesterday; there were certain code words and phrases being wielded by Labor to keep the Coalition paralysed by mirth. One of these was "terrified"; for example, suggestions Tony Abbott was "terrified the Malaysia Solution might work". That certainly left them helpless. "Peter Reith" also enjoyed minor hit status, which was nice considering the man himself was in town yesterday. But not even his name could come close to the success of "Work Choices". Every mention of the trusty old WC elicited such wild, spontaneous joy from the opposition ranks that when it seemed in danger of being neglected -- such as during an answer from Jenny Macklin -- there was a clamouring from Liberals and Nationals alike for its appearance. Yet, sometimes, it came when no one was expecting. Indeed, Warren Snowdon managed to drop it on to the end of an answer in such a majestically gratuitous way, he won applause. You can, of course, have too much of a good thing, and when Work Choices was deployed by a twinkle-eyed Simon Crean, there was such a threat of mass spontaneous combustion that Nationals leader Warren Truss was hastily wheeled out, his soothing tones settling across the House of Representatives like a blanket, snuffing out every last trace of excitement. And not a moment too soon.

Dropping the gong

AT Labor's post-caucus media briefing yesterday, the caucus spokesman mentioned, in a respite from asylum-seeker talk, that Julia Gillard had congratulated Wayne Swan on a special something that later proved, as expected, to be his anointment by Euromoney magazine as Finance Minister of the Year, the same gong Paul Keating scored in 1984. The caucus spokesman then added that it hadn't been announced yet, and that on reflection maybe he shouldn't have mentioned it in journalistic company. "You won't see me here again; you'll miss me," the spokesman subsequently lamented, demonstrating why At Home with Julia non-fan Nationals MP John Forrest doesn't have to hark all the way back to Are You Being Served? for sparkling comedy. As it was, it did go a long way towards explaining Swan's supremely unruffled air during question time, an air undented even by the most rigorous of Dorothy Dixers. To wit: "Why is a good economy good?" (We are of course paraphrasing, but only slightly.)

Said to the Bishop

SLIGHTLY unfortunate wording on Ten News yesterday: "Hello kids, I'm Alice Cooper. Welcome to my nightmare. I'm with Angela Bishop."