Foot in the door

AS Jacki Weaver didn't win a Golden Globe yesterday, we're embarking on a fit of parochial petulance and ignoring the event almost entirely.

Though we were taken with Weaver's interview on 3AW with her former husband, Derryn Hinch, in which she mentioned being hugged by Quentin Tarantino, who declared he'd loved her performance in Animal Kingdom. "I said, 'Quentin, I've heard that you have a foot fetish and I'm here to tell you that I've got webbed toes.' His face lit up like a Christmas tree." Before we turn our back on the Globes entirely, we would like to salute Nine Inch Nails founder and frontman Trent Reznor for blazing a new trail in the realm of prize acceptance. Named as winner of the Golden Globe for best original score (The Social Network), Reznor tweeted simply, "Holy shit!" As might have been said of Shane Warne's stint as a talk show host, it wasn't poetry, but at least it was brief.

Praise be to Dad

THERE'S been a bit of biblical language flung about during the floods (Lord knows what they're having to resort to in Brazil), but it was lifted into an altogether spookier realm yesterday by Julia Gillard, when she told journalists: "I was in Brisbane . . . and met a young boy called Noah. He was showing me that he rescued a caterpillar from the rising floodwaters, doing his bit." It wasn't quite so biblical in northeast Melbourne, where one couple's novel adventure on the swollen Yarra River gave even Aunty's news website the chance to live the media dream and sound like The Northern Territory News with this headline: "Pair rescued after sex doll river ride." And bless the wallopers for reminding us all soberly that sex dolls are "not recognised flotation devices". So, that's Queensland and Victoria; can we find something combining the two? Why, yes, something in this very organ that caught the attention of reader Bob, who writes: "Praise is due to Glen Wright, who was pictured towing a makeshift raft bearing his sons Nick and Tom. According to the caption, they were stranded after their house in Charlton, southeast Queensland, was flooded. In the background of the photograph is a signpost reading 'Bendigo 105' and 'Mildura 308'. Having apparently towed the raft right across NSW, Wright is striding purposefully through central Victoria, in the direction of St Arnaud, a mere 42km distant." Truly, it has been a time of superhuman feats.

Well, it's something

BACK in Queensland, Rockhampton Council has come to the party by, if we may quote its website, "offering a $20 rebate off the next water bill of the properties which are covered by the 9.5m inundation maps". Touchingly, the hope is expressed "this offer of $20 off your next water bill will help ease the burden of clean-up costs". Every bit counts.

Creepy comedy

OUR cricketers may be suffering the hurt of their utter defeat by England in the Ashes (note the use of "their", an important psychological distancing device), but at least they don't have to contend with James McOnie from Kiwi sports news show, The Crowd Goes Wild. Here he is grilling Maria Sharapova at her Australian Open press conference on the weekend, apparently continuing a line of questioning he began in Auckland:

McOnie: "Do you ever hang out with Anna Kournikova?"

Sharapova: "You're the guy from New Zealand, huh?"

M: "Yes."

S: "Oh, God, you're stalking me." (Laughter.)

M: "It's not stalking if you love someone."

S: "It can be slightly, trust me." (Laughter, possibly a little uncomfortable this time, but we're extrapolating.)

M: "Is there a hot Russians club where you get together?"

S: "No. I didn't know I was part of it. But no."

McOnie was back in action with Sharapova yesterday, this time with a sign declaring, "I am not a stalker." With any luck, he'll keep exploring this line of questioning until he gets Tasered. At the very least, it would awaken Strewth's interest in tennis.

Stab in dark noted

CHATTING with ABC 891 radio presenters Matt Abraham and David Bevan yesterday, South Australian Premier Mike Rann declared himself far too "occupied with doing work" to take notice of media speculation about his future and that of Treasurer Kevin Foley. Fair enough. So what work is he doing between tweeting and pedalling like Lance Armstrong? "Well, look," said Rann, "the thing is that there's been so much speculation and different names, eventually if you keep speculating enough you're going to find something right. What commentators never do is actually go through and look at their predictions. I do, I always sort of write them down." Consider the cake had and eaten.

Ye cannae be smart

IN referring to a certain hairy Scottish comedian as a thinker yesterday, it appears we may have wandered into a Caledonian cultural minefield. Luckily we have reader Grant Watt on hand to set us straight: "My fellow Glaswegian, Billy Connolly, is a Glasgow Celtic supporter, which automatically disqualifies him as a 'thinker'." We sit corrected.