Elevated debate

PERHAPS it was just the sub-zero temperatures affecting our brain, but while your Strewth correspondent was trudging through the snow in Europe during the past fortnight, surrounded by architectural grandeur and the legacy of great thinkers (by which we mean cake shops), we began to have a strange fantasy: that Australian political discourse could one day elevate itself beyond its present level and reach for something greater.

PERHAPS it was just the sub-zero temperatures affecting our brain, but while your Strewth correspondent was trudging through the snow in Europe during the past fortnight, surrounded by architectural grandeur and the legacy of great thinkers (by which we mean cake shops), we began to have a strange fantasy: that Australian political discourse could one day elevate itself beyond its present level and reach for something greater.

(We suspect Joe Hockey had something similar in mind when he appeared on TV on Sunday night dressed as Tinkerbell.) Spookily enough, on our first day back, an unexpected European theme of sorts did emerge, as trade union official Paul Howes re-aired Tasmanian senator Eric Abetz's 2008 revelation that his great uncle Otto Abetz had been a high-ranking Nazi and a convicted war criminal. Here's Howes's relevant contribution on Twitter yesterday: "Eric Abetz starts defending Israel in Senate Estimates - wonder what uncle Otto would think of that." Nice; surely someone from the Liberal Party would step forward to smack him down with vigour. Arise backbencher Scott Morrison: "@howespaul hard to take you seriously when you're only prepared to commentate from the sidelines. Find some ticker and nominate." Er, that's not quite what we meant.

Abbott to the crease

MEANWHILE, Tony Abbott - the man Kevin Rudd may or may not have been trying to insult yesterday with the monikers "Straight-talking Tony" and "Captain Principle" - elevated the discourse thus: "What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing, is that if they get it done commercially it's going to go up in price, and their own power bills, every time they switch on the iron, are going to go up every year." For a moment, we thought were listening to an Australian remake of Mad Men. And let's face it, after the debacle that was the American Kath & Kim, we really ought to give some consideration to repaying the favour.

A ranga in his heart

SPEAKING of Abbott, we were pleased to note that one other thing that hasn't changed about him since he became Opposition Leader is the effect Julia Gillard has on him. Even yesterday, as the nation's Ranga-in-Chief got stuck into him in question time, he smiled and wore that almost misty-eyed expression that speaks of a special soft spot in his heart that no amount of excoriation can erase. Sadly, we weren't watching when his predecessor Malcolm Turnbull crossed the floor to air his views on the emissions trading scheme, but we suspect the expression on the Monk's face wasn't quite the same.

Respectful minister

FORMER AFL footballer Justin Madden, the nation's first minister appointed to get everyone to love and respect each other (not counting Al Grassby), has been on fire in his first week on the job. First he took inspiration from a 1990s shampoo commercial to espouse in Victorian parliament that getting people to respect each other "won't happen overnight, but it will happen". Now it seems he is using "respect" as an excuse for holidays. When asked by opposition MP Wendy Lovell in question time why he had yet to arrange meetings with the Indian community, he replied he had been on a vacation with his family. "I say to you Ms Lovell that then you fail to understand the respect agenda. The first thing that you must do is to respect and give that respect to your own family." It's starting to sound like an Aretha Franklin revival.

First offence

BILLIONAIRE Sinophile Clive Palmer's latest marketing pitch to the Chinese appears to have paid off, with contracts signed for a massive mine, infrastructure and export deal. Ever the salesman, not only did Palmer rebadge the Waratah Coal deposits in central Queensland as his China First project, he changed his letterheads when writing to the Chinese from "Exporting Australia's Coal" to "Putting China First". But a mix-up was probably inevitable. "We had to write a letter to one of the federal ministers and she got the wrong letterhead, and when she looked down and got China First, Putting China First, she wasn't too happy," he noted.

No whistleblowers

AS much of a fan of Emirates airlines as Strewth is, we were slightly bemused the other week when we were upbraided by one of its check-in staff for attempting to take a small tin whistle on board in our hand luggage. This is something Strewth does routinely when travelling, partly because of our the firm belief that there's no hostile situation we couldn't charm our way out of with a rendition of Rocky Road to Dublin. We were informed in no uncertain terms that our whistle had the potential to be used as a weapon and, despite what we imagined to be our amusingly worded protests, we were persuaded to stuff it in our case and send it down into the hold. So, protected from the possibility of whistle violence, we took our seat with all our fellow passengers - and soon discovered that Emirates supplies metal cutlery, including steel knives. Still, it's the thought that counts.