Diplomatic punt

CHUFFED were we to see a shiny red Sherrin sailing through the Oval Office. Not

CHUFFED were we to see a shiny red Sherrin sailing through the Oval Office.

Not only did US President Barack Obama take time out of his schedule to host our Jules, but it seems the Big O also taught the PM how to kick. While Julia Gillard is an avowed AFL fan, her wobbly mongrel punts blighted the election campaign and, according to Obama, she "almost broke a bust of Lincoln" yesterday, too. (He was joking . . . we think.) For his part the photos revealed a respectable technique: the two-handed drop was awkward but Obama's head was down, toe pointed and he kicked the ball on its end. For a septic tank that's a pass. Clearly the White House was intent on making up for the fact he has twice cancelled trips Down Under. In fact so obliging was the President he even agreed to work around our PM's lack of gravitas and foreign policy nous by staging an event at a local school, Wakefield High School in nearby Virginia. About the only thing missing was a Building the Education Revolution sign out the front.

The Nixon scrapes

EXACTLY what Obama gained from the extended photo op other than buying himself more time until he has to come to Australia remains unclear but we trust Gillard at least kept him abreast of the latest developments in her favoured sport. Such as the high profile player-manager Ricky Nixon, who is checking himself into rehab for an apparent drug problem following allegations he had sex and cocaine with the teenage girl responsible for posting online nude photos of his client Nick Riewoldt . Obama knows all about Tricky Dicky Nixon but the escapades of Tricky Ricky and the Dickileaks episode would likely prompt him to hoof the Sherrin into the nearest trash can, as they call them over there.

This show's got legs

THE debut of Leigh Sales and Chris Uhlmann on the reborn 7.30 has had the chattering class, and the twittering class, in meltdown during the past 24 hours. But while the program is mostly well-received one element has attracted an inordinate amount of attention: Sales standing during her introduction. This being International Women's Day, Strewth was a little nervous about broaching the subject of the host's pins, even though their appearance marked a substantial departure from Red Kerry's desk-bound reign. But helpfully one reader obliged in a missive sent to Strewth yesterday. "Great timing - parliament isn't sitting and the PM is out of the country," Trevor Farrant wrote. "And aren't the lava-lamp whirls and swirls worth the wait? Editorially, the major change is that while Kerry O'Brien introduced stories sitting down, Leigh Sales does so standing up. Which suggests that, editorially, Sales has the better legs."

Meet the cure

WHO is Peter Madden? Nominally he is a candidate for the Christian Democratic Party at the forthcoming NSW election, a self-confessed former sex-addict who found God and now has his sights set on independent MP and mayor Clover Moore in the seat of Sydney. But readers may be better served to think of Madden as Agent Smith from the Matrix. You'll recall that Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving in a snappy suit and dark sunglasses) regarded humanity as a disease and himself the cure. And when it comes to Moore and the Greens Madden takes a similar view. This from his election pamphlet: "We fight disease in the human body through injecting an antidote into the bloodstream to fight the bacteria or virus. The agenda of Clover Moore and the Greens, their disproportionate focus and representation of minority groups over the majority, is indeed like an insidious virus that threatens our whole nation and our way of life. I stand as an antidote to that agenda!" The accompanying photo has Madden smiling like a TV evangelist. (Which he once was.) Presumably the Weaving-esque sneer and sunnies will appear if elected.

Naming rites

QUEENSLAND Education Minister is a Dick. Cameron Dick. And suffice to say he needs no reminding of the perils of bullying in the schoolyard or the fact it doesn't take a punch to do some harm. Dick was in parliament yesterday and took the opportunity to field a Dorothy Dickser (ahem) on the Bligh government's campaign against school bullying. "At a personal level, I have two young boys going through the education system - grade 1 and grade 3 - and I want to make sure that they have a safe environment . . . Although not a victim of school bullying myself, with a surname like mine I am an expert on what happens in the schoolyard," he said.

Girls' night out

WE suspect there may be a few loose Allen keys in the marketing department at Swedish furniture giant Ikea, which plans a women's sleepover at shops in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane during the weekend of March 25-26. In a lottery billed as winning a golden ticket to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, 50 female flat-pack fans in each city will be treated to chick flicks, complimentary pampering treatments and handsome male waiters. The fantasies are DIY.

Drew Warne-Smith