Crazy about Rick

IN a wide-ranging speech on gay rights at the Queensland University of Technology yesterday, retired High Court judge Michael Kirby referenced political luminaries such as South African archbishop Desmond Tutu and ALP leader H.V. Evatt.

IN a wide-ranging speech on gay rights at the Queensland University of Technology yesterday, retired High Court judge Michael Kirby referenced political luminaries such as South African archbishop Desmond Tutu and ALP leader H.V. Evatt.

But the conclusion of his speech was reserved for "that brilliant political philosopher, Professor Sir Ricky Martin" who recently used his website to come out of the closet. In recognition of the Latin pop idol, Kirby declared, "I think we will end this session with La Vida Loca," and slammed his palm against the lectern. The confused crowd clapped awkwardly, as though this peculiar action must have been nothing more than the indication of a great legal mind. But the applause was quickly broken up by Kirby, who protested: "Oh no, we're going to get a minute of La Vida Loca. Have you still got it on the disc?" At this point a young woman, who appeared to have forgotten her cue, raced to the back of the auditorium and seconds later, the music played, much to Kirby's delight. With a slight jig, he told the crowd, "I bet you didn't expect this this morning." Truer words have rarely been spoken.

UnWentworthy

THERE has been quite a range of reactions to Malcolm Turnbull's announcement, but we were kind of curious as to what position The Spectator Australia would take, not least because its editor, Tom Switzer, was an adviser to guitar-slinger Brendan Nelson until Nelson's stint as opposition leader was truncated by Turnbull. So let's have a look at the editorial in the issue that's out today. Hmm, the headline "Good riddance" probably gives some sort of clue. Let's see what's inside: "Malcolm Turnbull will go down in history as the worst Liberal party leader since Billy Mackie Snedden, the first Liberal party leader never to become prime minister. And even this is a stretch: Sir Billy, for all his flaws as Liberal leader from late 1972 to early 1975, had a distinguished record as a minister in the Menzies, Holt, McEwen, Gorton and McMahon governments and as speaker of the House in the Fraser years. But back to Mr Turnbull. He was a dreadful leader . . ." And so on. Given that Switzer had a crack at getting preselected for Nelson's old seat of Bradfield, was there any possibility this truculent shot across the bows was a signal he had an eye on Turnbull's seat? As Switzer explained to Strewth: "There is no way I would run for Wentworth. I have no connection to the electorate whatsoever. Not gay. Not Jewish. Not a lawyer. Not green. Not into the ETS. Not a local." We'll take that as a no.

Labor pains

WHO could forget Peter Costello's campaign to get procreational couples cranking out at least three babies: one for mum, one for dad, and one for the nation? Not Strewth, that's for sure; we're pretty sure it played some role in our decision to stop at two. But we digress. In the meantime, we've had the odd niggling fear that freshly minted Population Minister Tony Burke may see it as part of his gig to enter the bedroom, figuratively speaking, either as an urger or a dissuader. Happily, Burke put these fears to rest yesterday when ABC 702's Adam Spencer asked him if keeping Australia's population at 22 million was an option. Answered Burke: "No, not unless I am meant to be in charge of the natural birth rate and I don't think that is my job."

Fodder to the masses

SHANGHAI World Expo doesn't kick off until next month, but the Australian pavilion has got off to a flying start in one of the most time-honoured of ways: laying on the booze and a top feed for the local members of the fourth estate. Alice Springs-based chef Athol Wark told Strewth six months' consultation, and a lot of tasting, went into producing a menu that included Australian beef burgers, lamingtons, crumbed butterfly prawns, Shanghai meat pies, macadamia lamb, pavlova, lobster and Snowy Mountains water. Wark said the biggest hit was the South Australian abalone with lemon myrtle mayonnaise, so it seems the palates of Chinese journos are, er, every bit as sophisticated as those of their Australian colleagues.

No punches pulled

WHEN discussion turns to the subject of politicians who talk like genuine people, rather than the robots that have had rigid scripts jammed up their interfaces, the Opposition Leader certainly sucks up a lot of the attention. But for those who missed it, Joe Hockey's piece in The Punch yesterday about travelling in South Africa in 1990 and seeing white supremacist leader Eugene Terre'Blanche in action, was a reminder the Iron Monk has no monopoly. Take this unpadded sentiment for example: "Now that [Terre'Blanche] is dead I hope he is comfortable in the company of the devil in hell." And we're fully confident Kilimanjaro Joe won't want to claim later that he was misinterpreted.

Honky tonk man

THE pair of Tony Abbott's togs that got flogged for charity have gone to their new home at Bojangles Saloon in Alice Springs, about as far from the sea as you could get. As bar owner and proud new Iron Monk budgie smuggler possessor Avril Vaughan explained to The Northern Territory News, "I am a Tony Abbott fan. The man is 52 years old and he still looks good." Happily, it appears they will be displayed near the pub's carpet python; any readers holding a seance in the near future may want to check in with Sigmund Freud on that one.