Channel election

A SENSE of urgency can be detected at the ABC's Sydney headquarters as the broadcaster rushes to get its 24-hour news channel running before the federal election.

A SENSE of urgency can be detected at the ABC's Sydney headquarters as the broadcaster rushes to get its 24-hour news channel running before the federal election.

The service will be going to air in June-July. Some of Aunty's biggest names are in the line-up, including Chris Uhlmann (see our Media section today), Virginia Trioli (Barnaby Joyce's favourite gal), Barrie Cassidy and newcomer Annabel Crabb. But no Tony Jones, apparently. As ABC Melbourne radio host Jon Faine informed Health Minister Nicola Roxon last week, the election can't be held in December because of the Victorian election in November. "We've made clear that we would prefer to go our full term. That means we're due for an election at the end of this year," Roxon told Faine. The state election rules out most of October, plus the AFL finals and the Melbourne Cup have to be factored in, Faine noted. "You think I should start campaigning do you, Jon?" Roxon said. "Well I think you should, because then you go back to the football finals, the school holidays, that rules out September, and you could have an election in June, July or August really, couldn't you?" Faine said. "Well, you certainly could," Roxon admitted.

Unsafe seat revisited

WEST Australian Treasurer Troy Buswell must curse himself every morning in front of the mirror for that silly chair-sniffing episode that cost him the state Liberal leadership. Just when he might have thought the incident had been forgotten, up pops The West Australian newspaper to rehash the sordid details. The woman whose chair was sniffed, Karry Smith, has helped draft new legislation to protect parliamentary staff from sexual harassment. Smith gave the newspaper a detailed account of the incident. "I pleaded with him to stop it, unfortunately he continued, at times lifting the seat above his head and sniffing while at the same time making sexually gratifying noises," Smith said. The legislation will provide the "victims of such an offence with the mechanism to have the matter resolved in a private fashion".

Light the candles!

A SURVEY by Pacific Magazines reveal men and women want to be seduced more often, but aren't doing enough to initiate sex. They asked 10,000 Australians to discover this gem of information. Women's health sex expert Jacqueline Hellyer suggests homes should be lit with scented candles and brimming with melodic sounds, adds Hellyer. Why didn't anyone think of this before? "Sex is a sensory experience, so eating and enjoying a beautiful meal together is all foreplay," says Hellyer. "You're working on taste, smell, and then touch. Saucy." The survey found that 25 per cent of women are having sex once a week. Just over one in five said they felt lucky if they had sex once a month.

Earthquake sirens

MEANWHILE, in Iran a senior cleric says that attractively dressed women incite extramarital sex, causing earthquakes. "Many women who dress inappropriately . . . cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes," Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi told worshippers in Tehran. "Calamities are the result of people's deeds. We have no way but conform to Islam to ward off dangers."

Low-fare sweetener

THIS morning, Sydneysiders will be either demanding Transport Minister David Campbell's head, or feeling sorry for the man who has taken the brunt of motorists' anger over last week's F3 traffic snarl. Today sees the first real test of the new MyZone ticketing system, but newsagents are annoyed at the "paltry" commission they get for selling them, which means there could be extra-long peak-hour queues at railway stations. Campbell agrees there could be delays and queues. Commuters will know who to blame but any irritation might be assuaged by lower fares. Strewth paid 60c less for a rail ticket yesterday, which leads to the question: why have we been paying too much for the past few years?

Cheerful, not cheapA RUSSIAN billionaire last week bought a methuselah (eight standard-size bottles) of a 1996 champagne at a London hotel for pound stg. 35,000 ($58,000). He left a tip of more than pound stg. 10,000 and paid pound stg. 4375 in tax. And he spilt three glasses of the stuff at pound stg. 1562 per glass. The Rose Gold produced by Moet et Chandon is believed to be most expensive bottle bought at a bar.

Book a bunker now

SURVIVALISTS are making a comeback in the US, and turning a handy dollar to boot. For $US50,000 ($53,000) each (children are half price) an enterprising outfit named Vivos will reserve you a spot in an underground bunker for when the apocalypse hits. Apparently, the 16th century French astrologer Nostradamus is still being taken seriously in some quarters, despite his muddled predictions failing to eventuate. Perhaps his followers reckon that the end of the world must happen one day, so then the old charlatan will eventually be proved correct. The next time the world is due to end, according to Nostradamus, is a scarily adjacent December 21, 2012. So now's the time to book a place in a shelter, one that can protect you from nuclear terrorism, comets and global tsunamis. But would there be anything left on the outside?