Cave mentality

THE men and women of Australia have spoken on who they really want to lead the country.

THE men and women of Australia have spoken on who they really want to lead the country.

Move aside, Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott; MySpace music fans prefer rocker Nick Cave for the top job. His favoured deputy is pop singer Bernard Fanning, followed by another rock 'n' roll merchant, John Butler. As if to emphasise that Australians can be thoroughly superficial when they put their minds to the task, at the top of the list of preferred women for PM is Dame Edna Everage followed by Missy Higgins. Cave, who clinched his spot with almost 20 per cent of the vote, says his "first political act will be to introduce legislation forcing all Australians to lower their expectations". Kylie Minogue came 10th. Earlier this week, Gillard and Abbott released playlists of their favourite songs, including tracks by Midnight Oil, Bruce Springsteen and Elvis Presley. This surprises Strewth's music critic, who had assumed Gillard would be a country and western gal, while Abbott would lean more towards Gregorian chants and thunderous J. S. Bach organ works.

Didn't get a whiff

LABOR'S campaign spokesman and Financial Services Minister Chris Bowen says he doesn't know his neighbour. At least that's what Bowen told the Parramatta Advertiser when it asked about the bloke living next door in Smithfield, out in the back paddocks of western Sydney. According to the paper, police recently discovered more than 100 cannabis plants there. Bowen says his neighbour moved in three months ago. "There are some neighbours in my street I'm friendly with but I never got to know that guy," Bowen says. "He left early for work in the morning so I never had a conversation with him. I waved to him in the street once but I just never got to know him." Police say the plants would have been worth $400,000 on the street. A man has been charged.

Out but still about

THE disendorsed Liberal member for Ryan in Brisbane, Michael Johnson, has sent out a circular as he concludes his campaign to win back the seat as an independent. It features photos of himself and of Kevin Rudd, with the headline: "What do these men have in common?" An intriguing question. Johnson's answer is not that they share an interest in China. It is: "Both were dumped by faceless, unelected, factional party powerbrokers." This could be the start of an exciting new political movement, one that includes those given various orders of the boot. The shy and retiring Mark Latham could be its figurehead.

Close call for Peter

BEFORE presenting the Australian Museum's Eureka prize for environmental journalism on Tuesday night, Arts Minister Peter Garrett gave an impassioned speech about the importance of good journalism continuing to provide coverage of important environmental issues. Moments later, the audience tittered nervously and Garrett looked as if his string tie was tightening around his throat when The Age's Ruth Williams and Mathew Murphy were announced as finalists for their coverage of the government's insulation batts program, the foul-up that occurred under Garrett's watch. Fortunately, the prize was won by the ABC's Sarah Clarke and Garrett was spared an awkward blush-worthy scene.

Ears out of control

LIKE John Howard's lower lip, Tony Abbott's ears are growing ever more prominent when cartoonist Bill Leak is doing his grisly work. Abbott's handsome ears are not something Leak exaggerates consciously. "The prominent features just keep on getting more prominent the more you draw them. In Abbott's case, it just happens that as you get more of a handle on him, the handles themselves get stretched in the process," he says. Julia Gillard's views on the matter were aired in Perth yesterday: "If you're looking for a prime minister with small ears, this is not your election."

The wrong team

ACTOR John Howard made his debut on Seven's series Packed to the Rafters on Tuesday night as the imprisoned long-lost father of Dave Rafter. Writers had to give a taste of what a younger Howard might have looked like and chose to mock up an old newspaper article about a footy team. A grab from the 1970s movie The Club, in which Howard starred, seemed to be a logical choice. But sharp-eyed viewers noted the team group shot was in fact a group of grand prix drivers from the mid-1970s including Niki Lauda, James Hunt, Graham Hill and Jody Scheckter (highlighted as a young Howard), and staring out from the middle of the pic was swastika fancier and Formula One supremo Bernie Ecclestone.

Voters afloat

THERE are about 1500 Australians aboard the Dawn Princess. They were at sea when the election was called, but the Electoral Commission got ballot papers delivered to the ship in Los Angeles. Meanwhile, in Milan there were plenty of Liberal pamphlets but no Labor leaflets at the consulate. This is either poor Labor organisation or former ambassador Amanda Vanstone's secret joke at work.

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