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AS if it weren't bad enough stacking his motorbike and copping a rock through the kneecap last week, Nationals senator Barnaby Joyce's recovery suffered a bit of a hiccup on the weekend.

AS if it weren't bad enough stacking his motorbike and copping a rock through the kneecap last week, Nationals senator Barnaby Joyce's recovery suffered a bit of a hiccup on the weekend.

As he attentively read this paper [the "august organ" having a rest today, is it? - Ed.], Joyce happened on a photograph of Linda Burney, freshly burdened with the job of deputy leader of the boutique operation that is the NSW Labor opposition. Except the caption had upgraded her to deputy premier. "Poor old Andrew Stoner did not last long," a clearly shocked Joyce mused to Strewth. "Those conniving Nats would have been planning that for weeks." Then, as an afterthought: "I wonder if she can ride a horse." Luckily, The Oz ran a correction yesterday and Joyce, secure in the knowledge Stoner is safe, can focus on his recovery. How is that going, by the way? "Great, when I'm asleep," he says. "Otherwise I'm hobbling around as if one leg was shorter than the other."

Dubai in the eye

THERE'S a minor kerfuffle over Jetstar's blurb on its website for Cairns, which includes candid gems such as "croc-infested rivers" and "the beautifully designed and perfectly located lagoon on the Esplanade is an attempt to make up for the fact that waterfront Cairns doesn't actually have a beach". At Strewth, we're all for courageous honesty (so we were surprised to find Jetstar could find nothing to say about another of its destinations: Burma's military junta-run capital). That said, it's small beer compared with what's happened in Dubai, where A. A. Gill's unflattering word portrait of the emirate has been physically cut out of all copies of Vanity Fair on sale there. What was it Gill said? Perhaps: "Emiratis are . . . out of place in their own country. They have imported and built a city, a fortress of extravagance, that excludes themselves. They have become duplicitous, schizophrenic." Perhaps it was: "Dubai has been built very fast. The plan was money. The architect was money. The designer was money and the builder was money. And if you ever wondered what money would look like if it were left to its own devices, it's Dubai." Nor does Gill ignore "the white mercenary workers who come here for tax-free salaries to do managerial and entrepreneurial jobs, parasites and sycophants for cash. For them money is a driving principle and validation. They came to be young, single, greedy, and insincere. None of them are very clever." Gill, who will be a guest at next month's Sydney Writers Festival, is taking the censorship as a compliment.

Big cheeses left out

THE St Vincent de Paul Society today begins banging its drum for its annual CEO Sleepout, which sees corporate bigwigs roughing it for the night - June 16, this time around - for a good cause. Last year's raised $2.9 million for the homeless, and chief executives who've already indicated they'll be taking part this time are the Commonwealth Bank's Ralph Norris, LJ Hooker's L. Janusz Hooker, News Limited's John Hartigan, and Tourism Australia's Andrew McEvoy, as well as Pfizer Australia's managing director John Latham. As far as we can tell, you can't nominate a CEO you'd like to see kipping on the footpath. More details at ceosleepout.org.au.

Credible, remember

NEED to raise money for yourself? The Australian Sex Party is offering ten grand to "the first person who can produce a credible scientific study that proves that alcohol causes violence". Says ASP head Fiona Patten, "We are offering this money to protect the rights of responsible adults to be able to socialise at places and times of their choosing." If you have the scientific goods, contact Patten at [e-mail] and have your bank details ready to hand.

That magic word

SO there we were yesterday morning, harrumphing away on an inexplicably delayed Qantas flight to Sydney. A third of the way into the flight, it occurred to us there'd been no acknowledgment of this tardiness, let alone an apology. Surrounded by the thrum of digruntled passengers, we began to work ourselves into a lather about the dearth of manners these days. It's everywhere - why, only yesterday, Tony Abbott and Joe Hockey gave a joint press conference, and do you know how many questions journos asked of Kilimanjaro Joe? None. A disgrace that reflects well on no one. But we digress. We had a stonker of a Strewth item taking shape when suddenly the pilot apologised and explained over the intercom. Looking back on it, the excuse was one of the less-than-entirely-solid variety but it was so charmingly delivered, we were, vexingly, disarmed. As a mark of good faith, we'll say nothing of the "patisserie slice" that was served.

Have a blast, amen

THERE'S a cheery sign outside the Central Baptist Church in Sydney CBD: "One death you can celebrate." Next to this is a dummied-up bit from a newspaper, dated April 24, AD33: "DEATH NOTICES - Jesus of Nazareth." Under this is a pair of champagne flutes and a bottle of bubbly firing off a jolly cork.

James Jeffrey