Brat pack

WE gather some federal government ministers are, rather wisely, ensuring their emotional wellbeing by resisting the asylum-seeker vortex.

WE gather some federal government ministers are, rather wisely, ensuring their emotional wellbeing by resisting the almost all-consuming asylum-seeker vortex and focusing on their portfolios.

Perhaps that's what Innovation Minister Kim Carr was up to yesterday, providing a welcome break in the wall-to-wall boat talk with this announcement: "Clever bean bag becomes a backpack to beat beach blues. Beach-loving nurse and mother of three Katherine Drayton has invented a beach chair that doubles as a backpack to take the packhorse drudgery out of a day at the beach with her children." Surprisingly, no Coalition type popped up to suggest it would be perfect for sitting on the sand, counting (in comfort) the thousands of boats arriving as a direct consequence of Labor's green light to people-smugglers. An opportunity missed, sadly.

Finals countdown

TONY Abbott may be soaring above Julia Gillard in the opinion polls, but in Melbourne there are other, earthier, priorities. Attention there is focused on the AFL finals to a degree best illustrated by the punter who spotted Abbott loitering outside the Herald Sun offices and asked, "Is he a former AFL player?" As it was, Abbott had dropped by to write his weekly blog for the Herald Sun's sister paper, The Daily Telegraph, only to be invited to sit in on the news conference by Herald Sun editor Simon Pristel. (Ever even-handed, a spokesman for the paper says Julia Gillard is welcome to come hang out in conference any time as well. Unlike league-loving Abbott, AFL aficionado Gillard probably wouldn't suffer as much.) The setting clearly stirred Abbott's creative juices; his daily blog entry duly appeared on the Tele's website and broke fresh ground: "Right now, Australia is a great country with a bad government."

Money on Sinodinos

ABBOTT was in Sydney the night before at a Liberal Party fundraiser, where he told the 800 assembled at the Darling Harbour Convention Centre that former communications minister Helen Coonan's successor in the Senate, Arthur Sinodinos, was destined for a finance portfolio. Not a surprising slot for the senior National Australia Bank executive and John Howard's former chief of staff, but it raised eyebrows in the crowd, which included shadow treasurer Joe Hockey and opposition finance spokesman Andrew Robb. Job share, perhaps? (As for the emancipated Coonan, we hear she'll be taking a seat in the Crown Casino boardroom, courtesy of the kind James Packer.)

Gillard's alter ego

IN the meantime, Gillard referred to Abbott - not for the first time - as "the alternate prime minister". While we imagine she probably meant alternative and just dropped a syllable a la Martin Ferguson, it is possible Gillard is providing a vision of an alternative political system: one in which she and Abbott alternate, with one PM on odd dates and the other on evens. No more elections (hmm. . .) and no more slogans (hurrah!).

Bunny club

KEVIN Rudd yesterday referred to himself lagomorphically, to wit: "when this little bunny travels around the world . . ." So that's two Mr Rabbits for the Prime Minister to bear in mind.

Animal passion

STICKING with animals, it's mating time at Adelaide Zoo, and keepers are hoping their loved-up pandas will be in for some action during the next five days. Yesterday Wang Wang and Funi were introduced for the first time. Pandas get in the mood only once a year, so staff are hoping they'll (ahem) make hay while the sun shines. A bit of Barry White was suggested, but they're apparently more interested in yelping sounds to get them in the mood.

Sweet charity

A BOOT with a silver lining, as applied this week by Nationals MP Darren Chester: "I do not believe [Wayne Swan] has the capacity to ever deliver a surplus. . . . I am not much of a gambler but I am prepared to take a wager. If the Treasurer will take me up on my bet I am prepared to donate $1000 to his favourite charity if he delivers a surplus in 2012-13 - only if he is prepared to deliver $1000 to my favourite charity if he does not get that surplus." For the record, Chester's chosen charity is one promoting research into the rare neurodegenerative disease, ataxia telangiectasia (www.brashat.org.au). Chester is still waiting to hear from the World's Greatest Treasurer. though not entirely without a sense of hope.

Message in a bottle

WE can't recall the Greens advocating that people smoke responsibly, but we're pleased they can see the possibility of moderation in another popular vice. In a press release supporting Hobart's Cascade Brewery, Christine Milne's office uses the phrase "as long as we drink our Australian beer responsibly". Or in other words, don't neck so many you end up damaging a tree with the front of your car.

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