Bitter pill

WITH the NSW Labor government's members jumping/getting pushed at such a rate, we feared it may run out of tricks with which to delight its captive audience.

WITH the NSW Labor government's members jumping/getting pushed at such a rate, we feared it may run out of tricks with which to delight its captive audience.

So three cheers for Matthew Cheshner - husband of Education Minister Verity Firth and now former chief of staff to Roads Minister David Borger - who scored himself a chat with the wallopers after allegedly trying to buy $20 worth of ecstasy (there's one bubble that appears to have popped) from a dealer under surveillance. Cunningly, the alleged transaction took place at least a few metres from Cheshner's front door; that really takes the (disco) biscuit. If this is the end-of-empire stage it's got to, there's nothing left for it but for Labor to spend its remaining weeks memorably; there's ample time to get a horse into the upper house.

Liberals a go-go

STILL in NSW, Labor has popped an election ad on YouTube, which is a bit like trying to stop a lava flow with a garden gnome. The thrust of the ad appears to be that Opposition Leader Barry O'Farrell and his henchpeople will flog off every remaining public asset the moment they seize power, but we suspect voters may take away a different message from the bellowed closing line: "So vote Liberal on March 26 and watch it all GO, GO, GO!"

That sinking feeling

THERE'S always a risk attached to printing things too far in advance, as demonstrated recently by The Australian Financial Review when it featured as the centrepiece of its posh property spread a Brisbane riverside mansion that was at that moment being converted from mere waterfront to water front, back and sides. Reality's booby traps are even more of an occupational hazard for travel sections. With chaos reigning in Egypt's capital, its airport clogged with thousands unable to get on to planes and Twitter brimming with practical tips to Cairenes on how to deal with tear gas, Britain's The Guardian ran a jolly piece on the weekend that began: "Cairo is just a five-hour flight from London. One Day author David Nicholls finds that it's a surprisingly successful choice for a family holiday." There wasn't an awful lot The Guardian could do about the print edition, but hooray to them for sticking obstinately with the piece online as well. And, like the proverbial broken clock, its wording happens to be timely on a couple of occasions. To wit, "This was Cairo at its most exhilarating, a riot of noise, smells and colour." Then this: "If you want a relaxing, hassle-free family break just five hours from London, Cairo is probably not the first choice."

Pipped at the post

SPEAKING of wonky timing, our heart goes out (in a tiny but still measurable way) to Australia Post, whose following email may have had a better impact if it had landed in inboxes before the federal government announced its levy: "The recent Queensland floods have had a devastating effect on the state. Australia Post is aiming to raise money, and hopes, through the sale of a special charity stamp set. We can all help Queensland get back on its feet simply by buying a set of 10 charity stamps for $8, which includes your $2 donation to the Premier's Flood Relief Fund." Now that Julia Gillard's cut out the middleman, you don't need a stamp: the government's got it licked. The stamps are nice, though.

Too cool for school

THE Importance of Being Cool author Olwyn Conrau is attempting to come to grips with academe's new-fangled ways. "Here is the new system of enrolling at Melbourne University," she writes. "My son was told he had to text administration to let them know he was waiting. Then they would text him back to let him know when someone was free. Fifteen text messages later and a nice long queue, and he's told, 'Um, hang on, we now have to figure out how to stop texting you.' " Ultimately, the technology failed, but as Conrau informs Strewth, "He still hasn't been able to enrol, but he has been invited to the graduation gig at the end of the year."

Negus cops a serve

WHILE David Williamson licks his wounds from Crikey's extra brutal assessment of Don Parties On, it seems the demolition job is coming back into fashion. For instance, here's the opening line from John Heard's review of George Negus's book The World Down Under: A Chat With Recent History in The Spectator Australia: "The major problem here is reasonably straightforward - apparently George Negus can't write." Well, why stop there? Heard doesn't: ". . . on the available evidence, Negus just isn't that learned in 'current affairs/politics/travel'. If he is, he does himself a great disservice by publishing this tremendously foolish book." Part way through said book, Heard claims, "I started telling family and friends that I wanted to stab myself in the eyes".

And so forth. Hopefully Negus isn't going to be all turn-the-other-cheek about this and will, like Williamson, instead return serve. Then The Spectator Australia can become the reading equivalent of Wimbledon. Which would be lovely, but not as superb as the NSW government sending a horse to the upper house (see above), all things being equine.

James Jeffrey