Big on smalls

STREWTH may count among its great achievements persuading Shane Warne to show us his undies at the Ivy in Sydney yesterday.

STREWTH may count among its great achievements persuading Shane Warne to show us his undies at the Ivy in Sydney yesterday.

It was at the launch of Spinners -- Warnie's range of lads' knickers -- and the man himself was preceded by a procession of male models, each wearing nothing but a pair of Shane's smalls and the sort of sombre, vaguely haunted, yet ultimately defiant expression you could have proudly worn to the guillotine during the French Revolution. Not Warnie, though, who emerged with a grin atop his grey suit and black T-shirt. "The boys looked pretty good," he said of the models (see right), before adding, possibly to reassure them: "I wasn't studying them too carefully." Why wasn't he modelling the daks, asked one hack. "I don't look like them," Warnie replied, indicating the models, before alluding to that incident a while back (nobody was impolite enough to mention Playboy undies and inflatable penises), the result of which was that these days, "I prefer not to be photographed in my undies." Yet when Strewth asked Warnie if he were wearing Spinners, he obligingly, and in the presence of photographers, reached inside his trousers and pulled up the top of his undies, mercifully not delivering himself a wedgie in the process. So that was a yes. And yes, his former teammates will be receiving a few pairs: "I've sent some to Michael Clarke. He sent them straight back and said, `I've got my own.' "

Military service

WITH the federal government deciding it will no longer pay for the freezing and storage of the semen of soldiers about to be posted overseas (how do they make these decisions?), in-vitro firm Repromed has jumped into the breach, offering to keep military wrigglers in the fridge for free for up to three years. Repromed's gesture brightened Strewth's day, but then along came opposition defence science spokesman Bob Baldwin, who put out a press release that put the cherry on the cake and demonstrated the limitations of spellcheck. Baldwin not only noted that the freezing service gave diggers "piece of mind", but that "the storage of seamen costs about $275 for the initial freeze and about $175 for every six months of storage thereafter". Which would be a bargain for a whole sailor. Somehow, it all seemed appropriate on the day Nicola Roxon offered Peter Dutton "some balls".

Policy is f . . . ar out

LESS than two weeks into the Tassie election campaign and there are signs of stress in both main parties. The latest to crack is Workplace Relations Minister Lisa Singh, who was overheard complaining about an underwhelming response to a new asbestos removal policy, "This is a f . . king good policy; why do they [the media] always have to f . .king pick negatives," she reportedly said, possibly under the misapprehension she was doing a Gordon Ramsay tribute show. Could it be Singh is worried about hanging on to her seat in Hobart-based Denison, where she is one of three sitting Labor members fighting off two promising new Labor candidates (including Scott Bacon, son of former premier Jim Bacon), as well as a host of candidates from the other sides? She apologised later, which was just as well; we all know journalists just can't abide bad language.

Draw the line

PERHAPS Singh could heed the words of former NSW premier Bob Carr, who proffered this advice for pollies during an onstage chat with Max Gillies following a performance of Godzone at Sydney's Seymour Centre the other night: "When the media is afire with malice, you ignore it. You read Marcus Aurelius." Well, quite. Carr had no doubts about where the most stinging shots were likely to come from, telling the audience: "Editorial cartoonists, on a good day, are more devastating than any political columnist. They get to the nub of the matter."

Nine not for sale

IT seems a pollie can't go for a walk without stumbling over a TV executive nowadays, such is the frenzy of lobbying over licence fees, anti-siphoning lists and other bits of media policy. So it should come as no surprise that Nine boss David Gyngell was spotted in federal Parliament House yesterday. He was apparently in town to discuss, among other things, sports broadcasting with Communications Minister (and winter sports enthusiast) Stephen Conroy. It's a sensitive subject for pay and free TV, with a review of the anti-siphoning list of protected sports expected soon. Gyngell caught up with the troops in Canberra, including the redoubtable Laurie Oakes. Gyngell and Oakes took exception to Tony Abbott's suggestion last week that a $250 million cut in licence fees for the networks smelled like an election-year bribe and "look[ed] like they're buying favourable coverage". Indeed, Gyngell got on Nine news the next day to declare: "We show no fear nor favour at Channel 9. We will never do that, and to suggest that is an insult to our journalists." Sadly, we hear there wasn't enough time for Gyngell and Abbott to chat about it yesterday. Next time, perhaps?