Bets on Barnaby

WITH Finance Minister Lindsay Tanner yesterday gleefully noting the emergence of "Oh no, I've done a Barnaby" as a way of indicating a slip-up of some magnitude, ALP national secretary Karl Bitar took to Twitter: "Time for Centrebet to start taking bets on who will replace Barnaby Joyce in finance before the federal election."

WITH Finance Minister Lindsay Tanner yesterday gleefully noting the emergence of "Oh no, I've done a Barnaby" as a way of indicating a slip-up of some magnitude, ALP national secretary Karl Bitar took to Twitter: "Time for Centrebet to start taking bets on who will replace Barnaby Joyce in finance before the federal election."

We put the suggestion to Centrebet's Neil Evans, who responded: "The Coalition is a $4.25 outsider with us, and are still coming from a long way back, especially if our prediction of a late August election is on the money. The opposition, not surprisingly after the Copenhagen meltdown, is going for the Labor jugular, although right now I would have left the gun in the holster rather than accuse a government of defaulting on the sovereign debt. But, really Karl Bitar, I think there's as much chance of Tony Abbott sacking Joyce, who does have influential supporters, as there is of Kevin Rudd playing fullback for the Broncos this year." In short, Evans is offering $1.15 if Barnaby is still shadow finance man at the next election, a fiver if he isn't. But this does rather leave a larger vision dangling in the air: Kevin Rudd, Broncos fullback.

Go-go Joe's pop-ups

OUR attempts to think up a fitting new nickname for Abbott (Iron Man? The Man in the Iron Fiasco?) have been hampered by frequent flashbacks to Joe Hockey's tutu-wearing, wand-waving appearance on Talkin' 'Bout Your Generation the other night. What can rid us of this vision? Hypnosis? Cauterisation of the brain? Vodka? It may help if we stop watching the clip on YouTube, where it has already become a twinkling star in the cyber firmament. It has also become prey to ads generated by Google, so as Kilimanjaro Joe cavorts ever so slightly sheepishly on the screen, some of the ads that pop up include "Secret to Losing Weight", "Laddas the Thai Takeaway", "Ibis Mojo Mountain Bikes" and, naturally, "Want to Meet Sexy People?"

Off message typo

AS revealed in The Australian yesterday, NSW Liberal leader Barry O'Farrell has written a reference in support of embattled right-wing warlord David Clarke, whose enemies are trying to force him out of his spot in the state's upper house. But Clarke supporters were scurrying yesterday to have a typo removed from the final paragraph of O'Farrell's letter, before it goes out to preselectors. "I am more than willing to expand on my comments should selectors require additional information," writes O'Farrell: "But they should have doubt about my desire to ensure David is a member of the team." Freudian slip?

Rann packs heat

SOUTH Australian Premier Mike Rann doesn't take any chances with personal security after that nasty, sad and yet improbably amusing incident with a rolled-up magazine at the National Wine Centre last year. Yesterday he flew by chartered jet to the new and fragrantly named Jacinth-Ambrosia mine, 270km from Ceduna and a bloody long way from anywhere else. His only company was a few mining executives and government staffers, a dozen mine workers and the media, but that was no excuse for the beefed-up protection to lapse. Two elite policemen also tailed the Premier, travelling with a heavily padlocked suitcase to store their weapons on the flight; presumably they would have used some lethal kung fu moves if anyone had gone for Rann with the in-flight magazine. Signage at the mine site suggested snakes were more of a threat there than angry husbands.

What's in the water?

SOMETIMES we wonder where the Northern Territory - and more specifically the ever-compelling organ that is The Northern Territory News - would be without crocodiles. Why, it would be like Star Wars without Darth Vader, the 14th century without the Black Death, musical theatre without Andrew Lloyd Webber. Perhaps it's with such thoughts in mind that the NT has decided not to put all its eggs in one basket and so, not long after that surreal accidental pygmy hippo shooting comes news that a rogue monkey has been spotted by security cameras crossing a Darwin street. We have our fingers crossed for something involving flamingos next.

Twitter demotion

IN our item yesterday about the amusing little Twitter spat between Liberal MP Scott Morrison and Australian Workers Union national secretary Paul Howes, we managed - during a brief, ill-fated experiment in typing with our eyes closed - to describe Morrison as a backbencher rather than, as would have been considerably more accurate, opposition spokesman for immigration and citizenship. As Howes went on to tweet: "The bad news is that The Australian has had a crack at me about my tweets, the good news is they called @ScottMorrisonMP a backbencher." So some good came of it; after all, what are we at the national broadsheet here for if not to bring joy to the unions? In the meantime, if anyone else is interested in a temporary, accidental demotion, contact us at the address below.