Badger watch

AT yesterday's launch of Jasper and Abby and the Great Australia Day Kerfuffle, the book that can only enhance the burgeoning showbiz careers of the prime ministerial pets, Kevin Rudd inadvertently gave hope to lobbyists the nation over as he spoke of his co-author.

AT yesterday's launch of Jasper and Abby and the Great Australia Day Kerfuffle, the book that can only enhance the burgeoning showbiz careers of the prime ministerial pets, Kevin Rudd inadvertently gave hope to lobbyists the nation over as he spoke of his co-author.

 "A lot of people have asked,`Well, why did you [write the book]?' The first answer is: if you know Rhys Muldoon and he badgers you and badgers you and badgers you, it's very hard to say no. In fact, until you say yes he just keeps badgering you." So there you have it; if you want something from the PM, you'll need a lot of badgers. Possibly even more than you'd see at a Wind in the Willows convention. According to Muldoon, "Kevin and I were going to originally do an album of Nick Cave cover versions, it was going to be a record, but then we went, `No, let's actually make the book', and obviously Jasper and Abby are a couple of superstars and the stars just rose to the top and there they are on the cover." Still, you can only have so much fun when there's a pack of journos in the room but no booze, and inevitably one floated a not-strictly-relevant-to-the-topic question about "regulatory and financial structures for the financial services industry". Muldoon who, thanks to his long experience as a Play School host isn't afraid of a challenge, made a game offer: "Do you want me to take this one, Kevin? I can." Sadly, Rudd opted to field the question himself.

Nice to be told

PATRONS arriving at Sydney's Seymour Centre the other night to see a Sydney Festival show by comedian Tim Key were greeted at the entrance by a large warning sign: "Please be advised this show contains coarse language." We imagine most of those holding tickets had probably already factored in this possibility, given that name of the show was The Slutcracker.

Wills power

SOME day, our prince will come. Oh, do beg pardon, that day would be today. (We gather he's flying on Air New Zealand; we can only hope he's spared that spoof ad NZ's national carrier inexplicably made about sexually voracious older women and, just as inexplicably, only triggered outrage a month after it first surfaced; at least Qantas sticks to singing kiddies.) While we wish William a happy jaunt through the joint, we wondered whether the Australian Republican Movement would try to re-spark interest in the cause by calling for an uprising, or whether it'd get all tangled up being reasonable. Naturally, the ARM's efforts mainly fell into the latter category, though there were some attempts at tartness, namely with the observation that while William's aim is to get to know Australia better, he's only visiting Sydney and Melbourne. That and ARM chair (yes, ARM chair!) Mike Keating's rant against Wills for lobbying for Britain's bid to host the 2018 Soccer World Cup, but not for Australia's. It's not exactly going to start the Australian war of independence, is it? On the other side, the Australian Monarchist League let itself down somewhat by running its standard main page on its website ("Save the constitution, save the flag!" and "Welcome from Alan Jones"), with Wills relegated to a small photo and a couple of small items in the news section. Not so Australians for a Constitutional Monarchy, which not only ran with an almost life-size photo of Wills striking a fez-free Tommy Cooper pose (kids, ask your parents) and a pleasingly gloating piece from David Flint claiming that the prospect of a royal visit may have converted "republican celebrity" Ita Buttrose to the cause: "Welcome back, Ita. Perhaps you will be presenting the next royal wedding from your carriage."

Busted

THOSE merry japesters at The Sydney Morning Herald website seemed to be in a Benny Hill frame of mind yesterday with their coverage of the Golden Globes. Each time Strewth glanced at the site (we can but blame this on a faulty mouse), the word "globes" hovered near the heaving chest of a different, conspicuously generously endowed actor, first Christina Hendricks from Mad Men, then the barely dressed Halle Berry.

Hidden Tiger

THE hunt for golfing gigolo Tiger Woods took an unexpected twist on Sunday night, when Network Ten's Sports Tonight program decided he was right out there in front of everyone's eyes, poised to make a move on the lead at the US PGA tour event in Hawaii. Just off the pace set by Aussie Robert Allenby, there, according to our agent in the field (or, more correctly, on the sofa), on the leaderboard on the program's video graphic was one "T. Woods". A template they forgot to change or wishful thinking that the world No. 1 had ended his self-imposed exile after missing just one tournament?

Pandas and Lance

THERE was a certain inevitability to it, but South Australian Premier Mike Rann has scored himself his own Adolf Hitler-Downfall clip on YouTube. While it's hard to get worked up about this well-worn internet genre, the downbeat denouement is still worth a watch: "Maybe I'll get a good payout from Channel 7. We could open a small B and B in the Adelaide Hills, breed giant pandas . . . The Tour Down Under Peleton would probably ride right past our front window and Lance [Armstrong] could wave to me as he rides past. My legacy, pandas and Lance."