At one with Tim

IT could be the achievement that finally gets people talking.

IT could be the achievement that finally gets people talking about the Australian National University in awed whispers: the overdue development of a virtual Tim Flannery.

As ANU explained somewhat unnervingly yesterday, the invention allows people, via the magic of face-tracking technology, to inhabit a Flannery avatar thingummy. Explained PhD candidate Torben Sko, one of the electro Flannery's developers, "Smile and the virtual Tim smiles, blink and he blinks. So, on this level, people can virtually 'become' Tim." Fingers crossed no one, er, abuses this particular privilege. ANU promises the experience will enable people "to have an out-of-body experience of a different kind"; truth be told, we're having an out-of-body experience just thinking about it.

Now in DDD

THE virtual Tim Flannery is, of course, only two-dimensional; undergarment-monger Kayser has gone a dimension better with 3-D bra billboards starring model Anja Konstantinova, one of which was, ahem, unveiled in Sydney yesterday. (We gather there's one near Federation Square in Melbourne, too, but it rarely pays to appear to be paying really careful attention to stories like this.) Over to the wordsmiths at Kayser: "For male drivers, what is more of a distraction than a busty cleavage? A 6ft busty cleavage on a 3-D billboard perhaps." At least it will give somewhere for tow truck drivers to go to wait. "The 3-D busty cleavage . . . should be viewed through 3-D glasses for best results."

Good vibrations

WE'RE assuming Tony "It ain't heavy, it's my carbon dioxide" Abbott's brain is at least a little bent by jet lag following his return from Europe, which should have added a little magic to the start of this interview yesterday with Johnny Young on Perth radio station 6iX:

Young: "Good morning, Tony."

Abbott: "G'day, Johnny."

Young: "Great to see you again."

Abbott: "Nice to be here."

Young: "It's a shame you were walking in, you may have missed the interview I just did but you can actually buy a plot of land on the moon now, legally."

Abbott: "Right . . ."

Things were a bit more cosily on terra firma by the end:

Young: "When we spoke last time, you said you were a Beach Boys fan, that you like the music here at 6iX, so I'll play your favourite. I've done my research, I'll play your favourite Beach Boys."

Abbott: "Is that Sloop John B?"

Young: "No [ah well], it's Do It Again. You know, the golden times should come back with Tony Abbott. The life we had under John Howard, let's do it again."

Abbott: "Hey, well done!"

Let them eat cake

ONE of the topics Young and Abbott discussed was the mayhem in London, from where Abbott has just returned. We were alarmed to learn of a touch of that chaos in inner Sydney's Balmain with a raid on Adriano Zumbo's patisserie, an outlet that sees locals regularly forming Soviet-style bread queues to buy some of the macarons they saw Zumbo make on MasterChef. Despite the ransacking of the shop, the Inner West Courier was able to report yesterday that "no cakes were stolen" (which pretty much clears Strewth as a suspect). The Courier also gave this fabulous titbit: "Management at neighbouring Unity Hall Hotel [has] denied online reports that the culprits could have been pub punters. 'Our last drinks were called at 10 to 10,' manager Kerry Webb said. 'It was definitely not anyone from here, especially not on jazz night.' "

Vox populi paper

THE Age website yesterday ran the story "Hypersonic plane: Fly Sydney to London in 49 minutes", which we suspect wouldn't be the preferred direction just now. Meanwhile, The Sunday Age was continuing its quest, as meticulously noted in Cut & Paste yesterday, to give readers "the chance to decide what [climate debate] stories we cover . . . The Sunday Age commits to reporting on the 10 most popular questions and publishing regular updates." A cry for help or a courageous piece of crowd-sourcing? Either way, the most popular question last night -- with nearly 2700 votes -- began, "The very point of Australia's carbon tax is to reduce global warming. How much will reducing 5 per cent of Australia's around 1.5 per cent contribution of global CO2 emissions reduce global temperature by?" The second was nearly 2000 votes behind but was a bit rude to Fairfax, which struck us as akin to arriving at someone's else's party and spitting on the Jeffrey Smart print.

Apocalypto

THE globe is looking pretty toasty on the latest flyer in Strewth's letterbox. It features a picture of Earth wreathed in flames, across which is emblazoned the pleasingly specific, "Will the world end in 2012?" Even more specific is the information underneath this apocalyptic query: "Starts Friday August 19, book now to avoid disappointment." Flip from the flame-spewing orb to the back page and discover it's sponsored by Christian mob Fountain City South, who "welcome all to a warm, friendly and exciting time".