All fired up

WHILE Bob Katter and his disappointingly named Australian Party continue their inexorable rise to global domination, it would be remiss of us not to spare a little limelight for the political aspirations of Catch the Fire Ministries chief Danny Nalliah and his nascent party, Rise Up Australia.

WHILE Bob Katter and his disappointingly named Australian Party continue their inexorable rise to global domination, it would be remiss of us not to spare a little limelight for the political aspirations of Catch the Fire Ministries chief Danny Nalliah and his nascent party, Rise Up Australia.

Item No 1 on the RUA agenda is "Protect free speech", an admirably pragmatic approach given the whimsical nature of some of Pastor Danny's pronouncements, such as when he lost his inner monologue and suggested the Queensland floods were God "trying to get our attention" after Kevin Rudd criticised Israel. Or the time he hypothesised the Victorian bushfires came about after God, vexed by the state's abortion laws, got huffy and let Satan in. Encouragingly, RUA is taking a something-for-everyone approach. For example: "While we recognise the Aboriginal people as the first people of Australia, we encourage them to accept our government's apology and invite them to issue a statement of thanks for the good that the British heritage has brought to our nation." And gays: "Protect children from homosexuality as it creates health problems." (May we shyly suggest olive-green packaging as a solution?) And for those who need extra incentive, "There is a special 50 per cent discount on membership fees until July 31, 2011."

Happy as Larry

IN the meantime, this most august of organs caused a bit of confusion yesterday when it ran photographs of Larry Hagman (or J. R. Ewing to those of you who never recovered from Dallas) and Bob Katter (or His Bobness for those of you who, like Strewth, have blown a head gasket). As a couple of you noted yesterday, it can get a little blurry on the product differentiation front when presented with two cowboy-hatted blokes with white hair and auras of supreme confidence, so here's a little handy cut-and-keep guide. That's Hagman on the, er, ah, OK, we see the problem.

Abbott's party line

WHEN a journo invited Tony Abbott to "tell us a little about what you think about Bob Katter's new Australian Party", it was hard to tell whether Abbott was (a) so disappointed by the name of the party he couldn't bring himself to speak about it just yet, or (b) simply latched on to the words "a little". Either way, there was some amusement to be had as Abbott "answered". Quoth he, "Well, I think there's a terrific new party in Queensland called the Liberal National Party. The Liberal National Party is quite different and in my judgment much better than the old National Party or indeed the old Liberal Party and I think if Bob is interested in joining a new party in Queensland, the Liberal National Party would be only too happy to have him."

Sweet nothings

ANOTHER sign the end times are upon us: a flyer for some Kiwi honey proudly proclaimed to be "The first carboNZero certified honey in the world . . . We measure, manage and mitigate any greenhouse emissions in the production of our honey."

Let them eat cake

STILL on matters edible, we're pleased to see The Age is reining in things somewhat after one of its reporters had a $550 lunch with Tex Perkins, an event that put the astronomic in gastronomic and resulted in a lobster-rich piece that must have come as a welcome distraction for the sub-editors in the throes of being laid off. So well done, columnist Suzanne Carbone and restaurateur Rinaldo di Stasio, whose lunch together came in at a far more modest $224. A fine example. And who could possibly complain when you get lines as Churchillian as this? "Di Stasio is an enigma wrapped in a bubble, rolled in an involtini and covered with a sterling silver cloche."

Ball's in your court

THE federal parliamentary press gallery Midwinter Ball approaches once more and, with it, the charity auction on eBay. No barefoot bowls this year, alas, but there are plenty of treats to bid for: dinner with Julia Gillard ("Dress rules apply"); a 2010 "campaign blanket" made by Gillard and her staff (more colours than an explosion in a toucan aviary, free postage and handling); a tennis lesson with Tony Abbott and John Alexander, the Davis Cup champion who happens to hold the seat of Bennelong; breakfast and a stroll with Bob Brown (could be just the ticket for some healing between Bob and the Hate Media). And if none of those quite crank your tractor, there's always the "balance of power" meal with Rob Oakeshott, Tony Windsor and a certain Bob we've already mentioned a lot today. If, all in all, you'd rather not, you could go to the footy with Wayne Swan. Given the frayed and frankly worrying state of his larynx during question time, we suspect Swanny barracks like a maniac. More at midwinterball.com.au.