Age of bad timing

WHEN you run a large, metropolitan newspaper, or at least The Age, there must be times when the weight of spreading so much bad news into the world can become a little tough on the conscience.

The Age, November 25, 2010

WHEN you run a large, metropolitan newspaper, or at least The Age, there must be times when the weight of spreading so much bad news into the world can become a little tough on the conscience.

Why must it all be doom and gloom, some critics say; what about something cheerful for a change? As The Age demonstrated yesterday, through the combined magic of one of its half-cover wraparound ads, its front-page story about the Pike River disaster, and less-than-ideal timing (pictured here), you can have both. We've often wondered what newspapers might look like if they took a more theatrical approach to their front pages, the masks of comedy and tragedy hanging side by side; now we know. Also, we now have a much clearer understanding of why projectile vomit is so named.

Not what it seems

NEXT to The Age outrage, Kevin Rudd was only able to cause a minor stir with this Tweet: "Swearing is OK." For a short but magical period, it sat alone and unadorned, cheeringly bereft of context. Perhaps the man who had familiarised a grateful nation with the rodent copulators of the Middle Kingdom had peered deep into the, er, earthier recesses of his soul and decided: "#@%& it, there's nothing wrong with me." Alas, the context came lumbering not too far behind like a tardy partypooper: "Re: last Tweet. Today I swore to never commit or tolerate violence against women. I've been a White Ribbon Day ambassador for years."

What's my line?

WHEN the bearded orb that is Speaker Harry Jenkins rises from his fug of exasperation to give off a ray of light, you hope someone will be there to catch it. Such as yesterday, when Jenkins effortlessly knitted together Joe Hockey's campaign to ban leaf blowers and lawn mowers when parliament is in session, and the likelihood, as raised with varying degrees of melodrama yesterday, that the NBN will violate nature strips across the country. MPs, Jenkins suggested, could head out to reinstate nature strips using the equipment Parliament House gardeners weren't allowed to use during sitting weeks. Not exactly a zinger (in an extremely new paradigm moment, Simon Crean was in charge of that department yesterday), but still it deserved something better than the nothing it got. "Joe," Jenkins began in a tone more deflated than a dead puffer fish, "that was one of my better lines and you ignored it. I'm very disappointed." And so say all of us.

Katter country

BUT while one opportunity founders on the rocks of indifference, another surges down the slipway of hope [That's quite enough - Ed]. Harry Jenkins is in the occasional habit of accidentally referring to Bob Katter as the member for Katter, rather than, as is generally more accepted, the member for Kennedy. As Katter replied after the latest occurrence, "Mr Speaker, can I just make an observation: [Edmund] Kennedy died with a dozen spears in his back, and I can fully understand you making that mistake." But let's think about this for a moment: apart from a brief blip, Kennedy has been in Katter hands for what feels like 800* years and there's a chance a younger member of the clan, Robbie Katter, will follow in the footsteps of his father and grandfather. We suggested to Katter's office that a renaming shouldn't be out of the question. Their reply to Strewth: "Mr Katter is extremely embarrassed and mortified by the very suggestion. In Cloncurry where he grew up, any suggestion of airs and graces would earn you a sound clip around the ear." (*This number may not quite correspond with reality.)

Gunns 'n journos

THE new paradigm is spreading. Yesterday, Gunns Ltd welcomed journalists into its annual general meeting in Launceston for the first time and even organised a press conference for afterwards. Such things have been unheard of in the past, with journos having to use proxies obtained from sympathetic shareholders just to sneak in the door and ask questions. This is surely a sign the end times are upon us (give or take our North Korean allies).