Action men

IF you live outside Victoria you may have thought Tony Abbott was the leading practitioner of Speedo politics, but you would be wrong.

IF you live outside Victoria you may have thought Tony Abbott was the leading practitioner of Speedo politics, but you would be wrong.

Within the ocean swimming community there is a fierce debate over the use of wetsuits and Victorian Premier Ted Baillieu is no fence-sitter, being a firm advocate of Speedos who is opposed to the use of wetsuits, even in Victoria's frigid waters. Abbott and Baillieu yesterday fronted the media, ostensibly to talk about the carbon tax, but talk soon turned to swimming, after Abbott had donned a wetsuit for an early morning swim in Port Phillip Bay. Baillieu noted that "we've got a swim challenge going, which he's dodged yesterday and put a wetsuit on in the cold water", to which Abbott responded, "He's tougher than I am when it comes to swimming in Port Phillip Bay." Baillieu, keen to promote an image of party unity, stressed the two had a lot in common, but Abbott said: "No, we don't! I'm a wetsuit man and he's not." Abbott is probably aware that Baillieu is such a zealot he once swam the Pier to Pub at Lorne in Speedos with "death to the wetsuit"printed on his back.

It's a dog's life

NOW the kids are back at school after the holidays, it's time to check the family dog. Notice that Fido is sleeping more, withdrawing from social activities with other dogs and the family, losing his appetite and showing a general lack of enthusiasm for life? Then according to Dogs NSW spokesman Peter Higgins, your dog could be suffering from depression. "While our pet dogs are an important part of the family, the end of school holidays means less people at home and dogs often miss out on regular activities and socialisation. Altering the routine of a dog can have disastrous effects," says the good doctor. He recommends loading the morose canine into the family car and heading off to the vet (of course), and treating the hangdog dog with natural remedies such as herbs and homeopathic blends, as conventional antidepressants can have serious side effects, such as grogginess and emotional crashes. Good news is at hand, though. "Given time, treatment and a bit of TLC, a depressed dog will eventually get back to normal." How about you just pat the pooch more or take it to the park and liberate it in the off-

leash section?

Free wheeling

LONG may unionists recount epic struggles at the Eureka Stockade and the shearers' strike of the 1890s, but a modern-day hero of the workers' struggle is young Lee Mayberry of Newcastle, who last week won her unfair dismissal claim against Subway Restaurants at Wallsend. Her boss Nicole Dawe argued that so egregious was her "wilful misconduct and neglect of duty", that the 20-year-old "defamed our business by causing irreparable damage to our company name and stealing company property". So what was her crime? After four years' dutiful employment, she used an unpaid meal break to construct a car from an empty cardboard box, using two discarded drink cups for headlights and a salad bowl steering wheel, a photo of which subsequently appeared on Facebook. Enjoy every cent of your full $8700 compensation, Lee. Perhaps you should spend it on some new wheels.

Still cruisin'

ROCK 'N' ROLL George, aka George Kyprios, cruised the streets of inner Brisbane for more than 50 years in his 1952 FX Holden, and was around for so long that when Neil Young sang that rock 'n' roll will never die, Brisbane people thought he was really singing about George. Alas, George went to cruise the strip eternal in 2009, but his life as a public figure who everyone saw but no one talked to is celebrated in a new display at the Queensland Museum, the centrepiece of which is the yellow FJ Holden, which features not only a whippy aerial and foxtail on the dashboard but also the numberplate with "Rock n Roll" above the licence number. When George started cruising Brisbane's CBD there was no mall and he had to dodge trams. Queensland Premier Anna Bligh opened the exhibition yesterday, but we wonder if the old rocker would receive the same benign attitude today, or whether he would be dobbed in under the Hoon Watch scheme.

Injection of hot air

TRASHING a motel room is so 20th century. These days the bad boys of rock 'n' roll poke society in the eye through the politically incorrect practice of emitting carbon, or at least that's what Cold Chisel songwriter Don Walker seemed to be saying as the band announced a reunion tour of Australia and New Zealand yesterday. Walker, generally a quiet man who was a rocket scientist before music claimed him, said he wanted to make it clear the tour would be "carbon positive". "We're flying everywhere and we'll be emitting as much as we possibly can," he said to much applause. Appropriately, the impending Chisel tour is called Light the Nitro, a reference to the practice of injecting nitrous oxide into a car's carburettor to increase its performance, not to mention its carbon emissions.

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