Abbott ardour

TO sit in the Jubilee Room of NSW parliament yesterday was to witness one of the titanic struggles of the early 21st century: Bob Ellis and his barely controlled mancrush on Tony Abbott.

TO sit in the Jubilee Room of NSW parliament yesterday was to witness one of the titanic struggles of the early 21st century: Bob Ellis and his barely controlled mancrush on Tony Abbott.

Ellis was ostensibly in conversation with former NSW premier Nathan Rees to flog his latest book, One Hundred Days of Summer, but there was no mistaking the passionate pachyderm in the chamber. Abbott, Ellis informed the audience, was a man with husky good looks and no bad angles, a pollie who could woo the ladies the way Bob Hawke did. And no matter how many verbal stones Ellis dumped on his admiration ("Abbott has a working substitute for integrity . . . a neo-medieval cast of mind"), it would not sink. Not so fortunate was Peter Garrett: "Lurch on steroids, Death in a cowl in The Seventh Seal . . . The final hand grenade Mark Latham threw over his shoulder." And so on. Ellis said he'd counselled Labor to offer Garrett's job [What is it? Discuss] to Malcolm Turnbull, replace Julia Gillard with Maxine McKew and Kevin Rudd with Lindsay Tanner ("unless you prefer opposition"). For the record, Ellis predicts Rees will be back in the hot seat by November 22 ("I think he may be a bit off there, just quietly," Rees tells Strewth) and Bill Shorten prime minister by April Fool's Day. But none of it was quite as arresting as the power of Ellis's Abbott ardour. "I don't know how [Ellis's wife] Anne [Brooksbank] deals with it," Rees commented after reining in a fresh paean. "I know I struggle." Given the strength of his admiration, was there any chance Ellis might overcome his antipathy to this organ and write something for us? Ellis informed Strewth: "Not so long as the devil incarnate is your publisher." Bill Heffernan? Who knew?

Saved by the bell

NATHAN Rees, incidentally, wrapped up his contribution in style. As an insistent chiming filled the Jubilee Room, Rees rose and excused himself thus: "I've got to go vote on the same-sex adoption bill." It passed 46 votes to 44.

Bookies go each way

OUR bookies have been a busy lot lately, but as we listened to Andrew Wilkie's press conference yesterday, we wondered if anyone would offer odds on Wilkie pushing his poker machine reforms through. Centrebet's Neil Evans informs us that will have to wait until it's decided who gets to form government. As for the rest of the wagering: "I have Coalition $1.82 v Labor $1.95." Sportingbet Australia meanwhile had Labor on $1.28 (in from $3), and the Coalition blowing out to $4.50 before settling on $3.50.

A comedy of Eros

WHEN NSW ports and water minister Paul McLeay (son of "Leaping" Leo) fell on his sword the other day for looking at cyber porn (and not just for research, a la Fred Nile's office), a few eyebrows went up at the Eros Association. As Eros's Robbie Swan tells Strewth, McLeay was just one MP who was regularly sent Eros Magazine, a non-pornographic publication packed with policy and whatnot. And McLeay was just one MP who regularly sent his copy back. Says Swan, "There was one MP who tore his up into pieces, though I'm not sure it was him." The final straw came when Eros chief (and Australian Sex Party president) Fiona Patten invited McLeay to Sexpo, which Swan assures us is very educational. McLeay responded with a letter spelling out in the most unambiguous terms that he never wanted to be invited again. Possibly because he had already found what he was looking for.

MPs' just deserts

ALLOWING a group of Greens, Labor and Liberal MPs to organise their own road trip to one of the country's most remote regions always sounds like a courageous idea. Just ask South Australian parliamentarians Leesa Vlahos, Tammy Jennings, Steven Marshall and Frances Bedford. The quartet of mostly new backbenchers, who dragged along research officer Terry Sparrow, are members of the state Aboriginal Lands Parliamentary Standing Committee. Last month they flew into Alice Springs and picked up a large (and appropriate) Land Cruiser to take into the APY Lands, a remote area of more than 100,000sq km in northwestern South Australia, home to about 2500 Aborigines. But in Alice Springs they decided they needed two vehicles and duly hired a petrol-fuelled RAV4. An excellent plan with one minor drawback: petrol is banned in the APY Lands, thanks to the curse of petrol-sniffing, and there are no places to refuel a petrol vehicle. But before our adventurers had a chance to discover this, Labor's Vlahos crashed the RAV4 after driving into a puddle and off the road, near Amata, about 10km south of the Northern Territory border. The vehicle was abandoned overnight and had to be salvaged the following day. As Vlahos, who had to be treated for whiplash, puts it, "There were a number of issues with the trip that were problematic. Yes, there was a motor vehicle accident and, yes, I was driving; it was quite a scary experience. We came across a very large puddle that came out of nowhere. There is a report in with the Speaker. It was a difficult time." Not that it will be complete until it has been turned into a movie starring Bill Hunter.