Splash! The sound of another Sydney Morning Herald scoop taking an early bath

Prankster Richard Denniss catches out a Fairfax daily again with more spoofonomics

Peter Martin's story in The Sydney Morning Herald yesterday:

THE big four banks have fattened their margins while complaining about being squeezed, new figures reveal. "It means we have been complaining about the wrong thing," said Richard Denniss, director of the Australia Institute, which analysed the figures. "It's like making hamburgers. If meat accounts for a third of your costs and the price of meat goes up 10 per cent, you shouldn't be expected to put the price of hamburgers up 10 per cent," Dr Denniss said.

Statement by the Australian Bankers Association yesterday:

MEDIA reports claiming that bank margins have increased are incorrect. The Sydney Morning Herald and The Age today reported that: "The big four banks have fattened their margins while complaining about being squeezed, new figures reveal." This false conclusion is based on manipulation of newly released Australian Prudential Regulation Authority data by the Australia Institute.

The SMH dines out on another Australia Institute report, November 10:

AN EXTRA 390,000 jobs would be created if the mismatch between overworked Australians and those stuck on part-time or casual wages was addressed, says the Australia Institute. The institute's executive director Richard Denniss said Australia should consider a French-style cap on working hours, with the 30 or 35-hour standard week a better match.

Ooh la la! International Monetary Fund survey, January 2007:

THE 35-hour work week failed to create more jobs and generated a significant, and mostly negative, reaction from companies and workers as they tried to neutralise the law's effect on hours of work and wages. Simple survey measures do not show increased satisfaction.

Who is the Australia Institute? The SMH, November 10:

THE Canberra think tank . . .

As opposed to? The Age, July 14 last year:

THE Institute of Public Affairs, a right-wing think tank . . .

Or . . . the Herald, April 29:

THE right-wing think tank, the Centre for Independent Studies . . .

Plagiarism watch. Julia Gillard in parliament on Monday:

THE Leader of the Opposition does not get out of bed without a focus group report for the day. He puts the alarm clock off, gets out of bed, grabs for the focus group report, sees what slogan he has for that day and then, like a ventriloquist's doll, he repeats it mechanically time after time.

Paul Keating on ABC1's Lateline, June 7, 2007:

THE Labor Party is not going to profit from having these proven unsuccessful people around who are frightened of their own shadow and won't get out of bed in the morning unless they've had a focus group report to tell them which side of bed to get out.

Built-in obsolescence. Stephen Conroy, Lateline, September 29:

THIS is investing in an asset that will last up to 40 years.

Or 12 years? Labor MP Laura Smyth on Arnnet.com.au, November 15:

WHY not 20 or 30 more [reviews of the National Broadband Network]? Why not continue into three or four [parliamentary] terms into the future when the technology becomes obsolete?

No time to lose. Independent MP Rob Oakeshott on Tuesday:

THE concept of getting away from dial-up and towards more reliable and affordable services in regional areas is a welcome one. Anyone who does give a damn about better ICT and broadband services for regional Australia will want action in this area soon, and preferably in the next three years.

Mission accomplished. Australian Bureau of Statistics report in June:

THE phasing out of dial-up internet connections continued with nearly 92 per cent of internet connections now being non dial-up.

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