Who’s your daddy? Barnaby wants us all to keep talking about him and his baby blues

Barnaby Joyce told senior government officials last year Vikki Campion was not his girlfriend. A media statement from Malcolm Turnbull’s office, February 9:

The Deputy Prime Minister did not breach the ministerial code of conduct because Ms Campion was not his partner at the time of the staff appointments.

And now he’s saying it might not be his baby? The former Nationals leader talks to Sydney’s Sun-Herald, yesterday:

Mr Joyce conceded that the fact they were physically apart for almost all of the critical period in which conception occurred, meant the question of paternity remained “a bit of a grey area”.

Joyce should chat to an old mate. Tony Abbott speaking to the Seven Network, March 22, 2005:

It’s a shock to me. I’ve gone through 27 years of life convinced that I was Daniel (O’Connor)’s dad, and it appears that’s not the case ...

Barnaby says the media should have double-checked if the baby was his. The Nationals MP speaking to the Sun-Herald, yesterday:

How could they know? ... They never even asked if it was Joyce’s bundle.

The Daily Telegraph did ask that. Sharri Markson’s query to the then-Deputy Prime Minister’s office, February 6:

... could I please have comment on the following questions pertaining to my story ... 1. Is Mr Joyce the father of the baby and when is it due?

The ABC’s Leigh Sales also asked him. The 7.30 anchor on February 8:

You have not commented yet on front page newspaper reports today that you are in a relationship with one of your former staffers, who is expecting your child. Is that accurate?

We thought this was a private matter? Joyce’s resignation press conference in Armidale, February 23:

It’s incredibly important that there be a circuit-breaker ... for Vikki, for my unborn child, my daughters and for Nat (his ex-wife). This has got to stop. It’s not fair on them. It’s just completely and utterly unwarranted ...

Unwarranted? Like talking about an unborn child’s paternity? Joyce in the Sun-Herald, yesterday:

And can I say, even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t care, I’d still go through this, I’d still love him.

Maybe Joyce should show some of Tony Abbott’s grace. The then-health minister on Seven News, March 22, 2005:

I’m just sad for him (Daniel O’Connor) that he’s been dragged through the media mill because of the connection to me ....

Or follow Nick Xenophon’s advice. The SA Best leader speaking in Adelaide, yesterday:

Barnaby, mate, just shut up. Just shut up and just get on with your life.

And talking of someone who should shush ... US President Donald Trump on Twitter, Friday:

Alec Baldwin, whose dying mediocre career was saved by his terrible impersonation of me on SNL, now says playing me was agony. Alec, it was agony for those who were forced to watch. Bring back (previous SNL Trump impersonator) Darrell Hammond, funnier and a far greater talent.

When he’s not taking aim at Hollywood, he’s taking aim at the global economy. Trump on Twitter, Friday:

When a country (USA) is losing many billions of dollars on trade with virtually every country it does business with, trade wars are good ...