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Paying for ABC is like being hit by an octopus hurled by a seal

Moving forward. ABC chairman Justin Milne explains why managing director Michelle Guthrie must go, September 23:

We feel that we need a different leadership to take us forward.

Moving even further forward. ABC board explains why Milne has to go, yesterday:

After discussions with the board, Mr Milne came to the conclusion that this outcome would enable the corporation to move forward … 

T hird time lucky. Milne finally succeeds in sacking someone. News.com.au, yesterday:

(Milne said:) We are tarred with her brush … Get rid of her. (Emma Alberici) … You just have to shoot him (ABC political editor Andrew Probyn) … It’s clearly not a good thing for everyone to be trying to do their job with this kind of firestorm going on, so I wanted to provide a release valve.

Guess who’s to blame? ABC host Barrie Cassidy on the Ten Network’s The Project, September 26:

When News Corp decided to go for the ABC and started obsessing about the ABC and exaggerating criticism … that’s what encouraged the government to behave as it has.

How to fix Aunty. “I am Spartacus” on Catallaxy Files, yesterday:

If there is a textbook case study in poor governance and … design, ABC is it. Dysfunctional board. Sub-par CEO. Insubordinate staff. Bloated bur­eaucracy. Rent-seekers at 20 paces. Can it get any worse? You bet. Wait for a Labor government … Lord knows why … Labor … (wants) to come to the aid of a giant state media organisation that … would rather have a prime minister Bandt than a prime minister Plibersek. In the meantime, Spartacus would like to offer some policy suggestions to help remedy the situation … ASIC and ACMA officers should be embedded into the ABC offices to ensure … compliance with … legislation … (The) ABC should be subject to a large broadcaster tax … modelled on the bank tax … (to) reflect the financial support … provided by … taxpayers … Gender, sexual orientation, race, religion and educational level quotas should apply … The board, with 56 per cent white females, is not reflective of Australia … The ABC should report on the pay gap between staff based on … ­gender, sexual orientation, race and age … Where the gap is more than 10 per cent, a remediation strategy should be described … The ABC should publish a remuneration report … (and) shareholders should be able to vote on this report … If there is a 25 per cent vote against the … remuneration report in any two consecutive years, the ABC board should be automatically spilt.

Eleanor Ainge Roy, Guardian Australia, yesterday:

A kayaker (was) paddling in the waters around New Zealand … when a seal appeared to throw an octopus at him. Kyle Mulinder … (said), “We were just sitting out in the middle of the ocean and then this huge male seal appeared with an octopus and he was thrashing him about for ages … I was like ‘mate, what just happened?’ ”

ABC journalist Annabel Crabb tweets, yesterday:

In this story, a kayaker in NZ paddles past a fight between a seal and an octopus and ends up getting hit in the face by the octopus. If you’re wondering what it’s like being an ABC staff member right now … It’s like being the kayaker.

The Daily Telegraph’s Tim Blair blogs, yesterday:

If you pay for the ABC, every day is like being the octopus.

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Original URL: https://www.theaustralian.com.au/opinion/cutandpaste/paying-for-abc-is-like-being-hit-by-an-octopus-hurled-by-a-seal/news-story/4856a8999b9d39841f0738624e09519f