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Cardinal Biggles talking to Ramsay about Western Civ? What could possibly go wrong?

Assaulted! ANU chancellor Gareth Evans and vice-chancellor Brian Schmidt, The Australian, yesterday:

On June 1 (ANU) announced it was withdrawing from negotiations … with the Ramsay Centre for Western Civilisation … We anticipated attacks … (not a) protracted media firestorm that has continued daily … ANU has been constantly assaulted ...

Not always averse to assault. Senate Hansard, November 11, 1992 :

Senator Gareth Evans: I think the risk Senator Bishop runs, if I might put it gently, is ... that one of these days I will quietly, deliberately walk across the chamber and garrotte her.

Seemed like a good idea. Michael Gordon, The Sydney Morning Herald, January 1, 2012:

Gareth Evans … (was) nicknamed “Biggles” after he authorised the RAAF surveillance flights over the ... Franklin … Evans says the … furore would probably never have happened had there not been some spectacular miscommunication … (it) “turned into a lunatic close-to-the-ground quasi-strafing run that frightened every living creature in the vicinity’’. … Asked about Evans’ use of “the streaker’s defence’’ — that “it seemed, your worship, like a good idea at the time’’ — (former Labor PM Bob])Hawke said … “ I think all of us who know and love Gareth know that he’s got a rather dramatic and compulsive streak ... it’s not something I would have ... done.”

Don’t call me that! Troy Bramston, The Australian, October 3, 2017:

“Don’t call me Biggles,” (Gareth Evans) joked to journalists (in 1983) ...

Kind of hard not to, if the mitre fits. Monty Python, September 22, 1970:

Reg: Trouble at mill …

Lady Mountback: Pardon?

Reg: ... Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the mill, that’s all — I didn’t expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition. (Jarring chord) (The door flies open and Cardinal Ximenez of Spain enters, flanked by … Cardinal Biggles … (with) goggles ... (on) his forehead.

Ximenez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise … surprise and fear … Our two weapons are fear and surprise … and ruthless efficiency … and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope … Our four … weapons … weaponry … You’ll have to say the bit about ‘Our chief weapons are …’

Biggles: (horrified) I couldn’t do that … Er … Nobody … um … ­Expects … um … the Spanish … um …

Ximenez: Inquisition.

Biggles: I know, I know! …

Ximenez: OK, stop. Stop … our chief weapons are … blah blah blah.

Biggles: Now, how do you plead?

Lady Mountback: We’re innocent.

Ximenez: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

(Caption: “Diabolical laughter”)

Biggles: We’ll soon change your mind about that! (Caption: “Diabolical acting”) … (Biggles produces a plastic-coated dish-drying rack … (and makes a) pathetic attempt to tie her … (to it)

Ximenez: Right! How do you plead?

Lady Mountback: Innocent.

Ximenez: Ha! Right! Cardinal, give the rack (oh dear) give the rack a turn.

(Biggles stands … awkwardly and shrugs his shoulders) …

Ximenez: (gritting his teeth) … Iknowyou can’t. I didn’t want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake … It makes it all seem so stupid … just pretend for God’s sake. Ha! Ha! Ha! (Biggles turns an imaginary handle on … tdish-rack).

Ximenez: Now, old woman … Do you confess?

Old Lady: I don’t understand ...

Ximenez: Ha! Then we’ll make you understand! Biggles! Poke her with the soft cushions! … Confess! Confess! Biggles: I confess!

Ximenez: Not you!

Original URL: https://www.theaustralian.com.au/opinion/cutandpaste/cardinal-biggles-talking-to-ramsay-about-western-civ-what-could-possibly-go-wrong/news-story/99e992848658ef26da630102d4d84c62