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The Sketch: oh baby, it’s Shorten by a nose as Saudi women outnumber the Libs’

Opposition Leader Bill Shorten snuggles seven-month-old Paul Phillips, his deputy Tanya Plibersek with 10-month-old Lola Farrell, and, centre, the candidate Labor candidate for Canberra, Alicia Payne, at an announcement on proposed superannuation changes for women and parents. Picture: AAP
Opposition Leader Bill Shorten snuggles seven-month-old Paul Phillips, his deputy Tanya Plibersek with 10-month-old Lola Farrell, and, centre, the candidate Labor candidate for Canberra, Alicia Payne, at an announcement on proposed superannuation changes for women and parents. Picture: AAP

Scott Morrison emerged from a mood-establishing, Labor-bashing soliloquy early in question time to lay into the “absolute ­idiocy” of fruit saboteurs.

To be on the safe side, Bill Shorten chopped up the PM’s answer to avoid injury: “I seek to associate Labor with the last 45 seconds of the Prime Minister’s answer with reference to the strawberry situation.” Amid those in the house was a delegation from Saudi Arabia. Once welcomed by Speaker Tony Smith, they were treated to the spectacle of bulldog-like ­Coalition backbencher Ken O’Dowd asking a Dorothy Dixer, a performance accompanied — as per tradition — by a chorus of growling from the Labor benches.

Before the Saudis had time to ponder this properly, they got to experience the spectacle of Deputy PM Michael McCormack answering that dixer, not so much arriving at the dispatch box as blooming before it.

“Thanks to our good economic management, our good economic plan,” he began, spreading his zest. But amid the sweetness, buried hazards awaited. “If those opposite get into government they would jack up the prices for power, they will jack up the taxes,” he warned.

Just when it all seemed a bit off-the-rack, McCormack turned to ­Shorten and went bespoke. “I can see the member for Maribyrnong on his wrecking ball going through the retirees’ savings in the member for Flynn’s electorate.” One suspects that the effect McCormack was so energetically striving for with this Miley Cyrus imagery was not the one he achieved.

Indeed, Shorten looked as though he was experiencing his second moment of pure happiness of the day, the first being at an event in the morning where, bathed in spring sunshine, he ­applied his nose to a baby’s head — a welcome change from the ­cliche of a pollie kissing one.

While the Saudis absorbed all this, some fun was had noting their delegation — from a nation that only recently allowed women to drive — had better female representation than the Coalition yesterday: 25 per cent compared with just south of 19 per cent. Keeping that theme going, MPs Cathy McGowan and Rebekha Sharkie passed the Saudis with one of those posters of 1958 flick Attack of the 50 Foot Woman that’s been enhanced with the addition of Parliament House and the message “Don’t get mad — get elected”. (It’s one with a broad ­appeal; Liberal MP Sarah Henderson also has one.)

But if the Saudis looked like they were having a good time, the enjoyment wasn’t so unanimous in the public gallery. Unlike the baby in Shorten’s hands earlier, this one passed beyond the realm of merely looking doubtful and — part way through an answer from Citizenship Minister Alan Tudge — let rip with an almighty wail.

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Original URL: https://www.theaustralian.com.au/opinion/columnists/james-jeffrey/the-sketch-oh-baby-its-shorten-by-a-nose-as-saudi-women-outnumber-the-libs/news-story/08667139859697ba5669df85589cb420