The Sketch: ghosts of PMs past not so spooky these days

The Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition exchange manual pleasantries before the start of play yesterday. Picture: Kym Smith

When Kevin Rudd got rolled, the biggest jolt was not his post-spill press conference, even if it did feel like stumbling across a man conducting his own open-heart surgery. Rather it was seeing him in the House of Representatives after­wards, ripped away from the hot seat and unceremoniously dumped up the back — a haunted figure suddenly looking so small and powerless and alone.

Perhaps it’s because we’re getting used to this ritual bloodletting that it doesn’t seem so dramatic any more. As the first question time of the new regime got underway yesterday, it took a few ­minutes for Malcolm Turnbull’s absence to register; not for him any Rudd-esque lingering. (Those hungering for a bit of ex-PM only had to let their eyes wander up to Tony Abbott’s pew.)

Liberal member for Chisholm Julia Banks and former Liberal deputy leader Julie Bishop during Question Time.

Eyes wandering in another ­direction alighted on Julie Bishop, the former foreign minister turned humble member for Curtin, clad in a shade of inferno and sitting in the back row next to the also freshly relocated Julia Banks. Amid these little discombobulations, question time began with civility. Indeed, Bill Shorten went so far as to congratulate Scott Morrison on his elevation, then graciously saluted Turnbull and Bishop for their years of service to the nation.

All good things come to an end, of course, and this little bit of the warm and fuzzies was no exception. Shorten switched his tone to that of a prosecutor particularly eager to dissuade the judge from entertaining thoughts of leniency.

“Malcolm Turnbull is no longer prime minister,” he said. “Why?”

Prime Minister Scott Morrison speaks to government drought envoy Barnaby Joyce during Question Time.

Morrison, who is generally at pains to emphasise to his suburban, daggy-dad normality, eventually departed from this well-worn path to enigmatically quote US general “Stormin’ ” ­Norman Schwarzkopf.

“When placed in command, take charge,” said Stormin’ ­Normal, then retired to the prime ministerial chair with a look of equal parts surprise and satisfaction. It seemed to help make up for the absence of flag pins from many of his colleagues’ lapels.

It was never going to end there.

Emma Husar returning to Parliament in the House of Representatives chamber. Picture: Kym Smith

Prime ministerial statements along the lines of “When you have a job, you have choices” were met with Labor cries of “What about Malcolm?” And so on.

On a brighter note, Labor’s ­Julian Hill greeted Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton as the minister for home au pairs. Dutton, who recently promised to introduce the nation to the wonder of his smile, postponed this wonder once more.

When it was all done, none other than Rudd’s former right-hand man, Patrick Gorman, rose to give his first speech as the member for Perth, reaching — despite everything — this conclusion: “Ultimately, the work of this parliament is about love.”

Liberal backbencher Andrew Hastie during Question Time in Canberra.