Yes, I know, a goodly proportion of our sensible readers do not care about the royal wedding, indeed it is very much beneath us, so consider this a story about … I don’t know, propriety.
Dignity.
Duty. Love.
Consider it a story about the obligations and responsibilities of adulthood; and of what it means to be a gentleman in an age where even manners are going out of fashion.
Okay, now, with that now out of the way: Meghan Markle’s father needs to be persuaded not only to attend her wedding but to walk her down the aisle, with her mum by his side, if that’s the way she wants it. If he’s feeling like he can’t, because he’s some kind of low-class bumpkin who is going to embarrass his girl in front of her posh new family, then her groom, Prince Harry, needs to step in. He needs to go to Mr Markle — meet him in Mexico, or wherever he lives — and say something like: “It won’t be the same if you’re not there. It would be the honour of my life to have you as our guest. It would mean the world to Meghan. And to me.”
And then he needs to get the guy fitted for a suit.
Because Mr Markle’s Dad — Thomas Markle, 73 — can’t possibly have known what he was suddenly getting into, when Meghan met Harry. Apparently he’s been embarrassed by the way he’s been cast as some kind of deadbeat Dad who abandoned his family somewhere along the way, and so when his other daughter, Samantha, encouraged him to have some “positive pictures” taken, he agreed.
One set of photos had him gazing wistfully at pictures of Meghan cuddled up in the arms of her actual, charming Prince. Maybe that would have been fine if he’d genuinely been papped; now there is a suggestion that money changed hands — just for his time, you understand — and he’s completely mortified, and says he won’t go to the wedding because he doesn’t want to embarrass his daughter any more than he already has.
Some background: Meghan’s parents divorced when she was six. Her dad went on to have a reasonably successful career in TV lighting, working on such programs as Married With Children, but more recently he’s hit on hard times, and two years ago, filed for bankruptcy. Most of the actual raising of Meghan was left to her mum, Doria Ragland. That’s why Mum was going to ride in the car with her daughter on their way to the church, and that’s why Dad going to meet them at the door, and walk Meghan up the aisle.
A neat solution, given the apparent bitterness of the divorce, but now it’s fallen apart.
The palace has released a statement this morning, asking for privacy, saying it’s a “deeply personal moment for Ms Markle.” Yes, indeed, when your father tells a gossip website, TMZ, that he’s not going to walk you down the aisle, that’s deeply personal.
Painful, probably.
As pre-wedding dramas go, it’s also useful, in that it helps the world understand, if they don’t already, exactly what Harry sees in Meghan. No question, she’s beautiful, but she’s also got some grit to her. She’s a survivor, not least of an emotional wrecking ball.
Probably he can’t wait to take a little care of her.
- St. George's Chapel
- 12:00pm
Wedding service begins at St George's Chapel. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle married by Dean of Windsor and Archbishop or Canterbury.
- Carriage Procession
- 1:00pm
Couple embark on carriage procession through town before returning to Windsor Castle.
- St. George's Hall
- Afternoon
Queen hosts reception at St. George's Hall for couple and 800 guests.
- Frogmore House
- Evening
Prince of Wales hosts evening reception for 200 close friends and family at royal residence of Frogmore House.
But he should still do what he can to get Mr Markle to the church.
Yes, marriage is, at its root, a patriarchal construct and historically, that moment — where the father meets the groom at the altar — was symbolic of the transfer of ownership of a chattel, which was the bride.
It’s not about ownership, or the transfer of property anymore. The rituals are ancient, but also symbolic. That moment is today a statement by the bride: this man here (or this woman, my Mum; or both of them, or a treasured step-parent, however you chose to do it) is one, or are some, of the most important people in my life. They are the ones who gave me life, or at least helped raise me up. They are not perfect, but I’m not either — by God, what we’ve done to each other over the years, what we’ve said, how we’ve hurt each other — but at the end of the day, we’re family and for that if for nothing else, I want them by my side.
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