David Morrison says Australians should stop using the word ‘guys’

What a great bloke is David Morrison they say at the ABC. What a top guy. A man for the ages.

To the rest of us, surely the correct term is tosser.

On ABC television this morning the former Army Chief and current Australian of the Year had a jolly little chat about his/her latest mission for the Diversity Council. He/she wants to get rid of gender stereotypes in language.

One of the words he/she wants us to eliminate from our lexicons is “guys” and he/she is leading the way. Morrison does not use this sexist word any more.

“The campaign by the Diversity Council is certainly not trying to be the language police,” said Morrison. No — it is just that they want to police our language.

He/she was interviewed by an ABC presenter who was wearing a dress and appeared to have breasts and went by the name of Virginia. And Virginia confessed to using the “guys” term “all the time” and went on to say this “is a problem because I’m not a guy”.

We might safely then refer to Virginia as “not-a-guy” given this was a voluntary term of self-identification. Or is it wrong to use the term, even in the negative sense?

Perhaps we’ll have to seek further advice from Morrison because he/she has talked about the “tap-drip effect of exclusive language or gender-based language”.

Not-a-guy Virginia also said he/she has a “problem” with the expression “they’re the man”.

“The reason I hate it is that I can never be the man, no matter how good I am at my job, I can’t be the man,” said not-a-guy/can’t-be-the-man Virginia.

Strangely Morrison did not admonish Virginia for this old-fashioned, sexist and non-gender fluid approach. Virginia could, of course, be the man or a guy or a bloke if he/she chose to be. It must be up to Virginia — not up to us or Morrison — surely.

While we wrestle with the language and concepts of gender, and try to edit and censor our language and purge our thoughts of outdated concepts such as male and female, there is at least one thought that can help us sleep soundly at night — Morrison is no longer in charge of our army.