It was billed as the love story everyone’s talking about, but hands up who’s now heard enough?
Enough about the Barnababy.
Who put what where, and especially when?
Did we really need to know this about the beetroot-flavoured former deputy PM?
When exactly things between the media adviser and the member for New England went “from professional to romantic”?
How they were encouraged — maybe, the details were a bit vague — to abort the child they conceived, while he was married to a country Mum-of-four?
All this, but no questions about the various taxpayer jobs she held? No questions about the free apartment in which they lived? That’s the stuff that’s actually in the public interest.
Then there was the woe-is-me.
“I couldn’t help it. You can’t help who you fall in love with.”
So said Vikki Campion, in her $150,000 tell-all interview with the Seven Network, on Sunday Night.
Maybe, but you can certainly can refuse to stick your hand out for cash, especially after declaring “privacy, privacy, we demand our privacy.”
“Our story is not for public consumption,” said Barnaby, a few weeks back.
Excuse me? It was for sale.
Which, as the couple now surely understands, meant answering questions that in a normal situation, nobody would have the right to ask.
How they figured out that Barnaby was in fact the dad. It’s just so tawdry.
Looking at Vikki Campion in the promos, you could see exactly what happened. She’s got a big, beautiful mouth, and a mane of wild hair. Old photographs have her putting her foot on the bar rail and matching her lover, beer for beer.
Wearing her skirts up to here.
It must have been like a bullet to Barnaby’s brain. She’s Jolene, in the Dolly Parton song, a true siren, and now she’s got Natalie man, and because she sold that story, she had to face questions about what the woman scorned said, when they ran into each other in the street.
‘I can’t repeat the words.’
Vikki? Sometimes you say it best when you say nothing at all.
I mean, sell the story of your adultery, even of your son’s conception, but why sell Natalie’s pain?
The Seven Network did its best to make the sideshow palatable.
It was too grubby to ever be a turn-on, but having paid, they didn’t want people literally turning off.
Maybe they thought the thing couldn’t get any grubbier, what with claims about the child’s paternity and the cash changing hands, but no, it’s like there’s always one more step down which we can strut.
It was all about how she considered an abortion, that he didn’t want, not even to save his career.
Cut to shots of the baby right there, in his swaddle.
“I would do anything to protect him,” said Vikki, as the camera zoomed in on his face.
What can one even say? Welcome to the world, Sebastian! Welcome to the fallen human race.
Process be damned, she’s the one with all the goods
Australia’s top female broadcasting executive has a stellar CV and a Wiki page that starts by saying: ‘Ita, rhymes with fighter.’
Exit clothed in a sharp message
Julie Bishop’s decision to quit politics came with a parting shot, right through the eye. There was nothing accidental about it.