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Jason Gagliardi

‘An old white male with far too much white privilege’

Jason Gagliardi
What, me worry? I’m with Burnside. Picture: Stuart McEvoy
What, me worry? I’m with Burnside. Picture: Stuart McEvoy

Welcome to the column that cherry-picks the top of your pops and ferrets out your pithiest quotes. The Mocker pondered the life and times of barrister, Melbourne Grammar old boy and leafy Hawthorn habitue Julian Burnside and wondered if he was really the Greens messiah, or just another pious toff. Toff, scoffed Kevin aka Doc Molloy:

‘The last thing you would expect of a party that thrives on identity politics would be to nominate an affluent, ageing, white Anglo-Saxon male.’

“An old white male with far too much white privilege. Priceless! Only the Greens would do this and not see the irony.”

We’ve been had, said Brad:

“Di Natale should be wearing an ‘I’m with stupid’ T-shirt. For that matter, so should Burnside.”

John asked:

“Why are you surprised? That’s exactly what the Greens represent these days. Affluent and privileged elites who believe they are immune from the effects of their own loopy policies.”

Bloodthirsty, said Rohan B:

“Good on you Mocker; you went straight for the jugular.”

Lynn’s lesson:

“Perhaps he should look at the evidence of the Chief Scientist: If we stopped all emissions from Australia it would make no difference to the world. Pass that message on to our children and grandchildren.”

Smug and smugger: Saving Hawthorn from rising sea levles. Picture: Stuart McEvoy
Smug and smugger: Saving Hawthorn from rising sea levles. Picture: Stuart McEvoy

Ian enthused:

“Oh dear Mocker! Thursday is the best day of the week, as you continue to nail the likes of Burnside et al. I will spend all afternoon in a happy frame of mind and probably read your comments twice over.”

Bob_M’s bit:

“What gets me about the Burnsides of this world is their sense of entitlement, even in politics. No joining the Greens when he was a pimply faced youth, no going to endless branch meetings or letter boxing, no facing pre-selection.

“Decides when he has earned a motza and that he really can’t think of what else to do with himself he will become the candidate for Kooyong for the Greens. Shallow as a parking lot puddle.”

Difficult, said Dick:

“When Mr Burnside was a pimply faced youth (if indeed he was so afflicted), there was no such thing as a Greens Party.”

Kind Kevin was cruel:

“I had the great misfortune to hear Burnside talk one evening.When he finished talking about his favourite subject, himself, he moved onto to talk about a horrible country with an appalling human rights record.

“His 30 minute rant was not directed at China, Russia or even Saudi Arabia. No, the evil country was the USA.”

Michael had more:

“I recall listening to Burnside some time ago. An indigenous woman in the audience asked a very pointed question with regards to the over-representation of indigenous males in custody. “Burnside responded that the topic of the evening was the refugee problem. As quick as you like the indigenous women argued that she was going to get a plane to Indonesia then get on a boat back in order to get his attention. Her issues was not the refugee population it was Burnside.”

Ross the elder raised his voice:

“He oils his way across the floor, Oozing compassion from every pore” (apology to My Fair Lady).

Emissions crisis: Julian Burnside and Richard Di Natale hasten global warming by producing hot air. Picture: Stuart McEvoy
Emissions crisis: Julian Burnside and Richard Di Natale hasten global warming by producing hot air. Picture: Stuart McEvoy

Steve was stumped:

“How many ‘refugees’ does Burnside house at his expansive acreage?”

Simon said:

“Have I missed Mr Burnside’s solemn declaration on behalf of climate change, to never fly anywhere on a jet airliner EVER again, for ANY purpose?”

Do better, said Daniel:

“The issue of climate change requires a global response. To suggest that proponents of such a response are hypocrites because they drive a car/travel on planes is just juvenile.”

Suzi shot back:

“Airline travel is the largest contributor to carbon emissions and not at all necessary. Air travel is usually for pleasure, business can easily be done over the phone, email, Skype no need for a barrister to fly given it’s such a catastrophic contributor. Why shouldn’t he make every effort possible? He expects everyone else to.”

Peter pointed out:

“Burnside is reported as supporting the introduction of death duties … Of course, the Commonwealth has no power to levy death duties: it is a state power. So, Burnside is running in the wrong election!”

Damien declared:

“There are less than 20 asylum seekers in Hawthorn … none live in the QC’s flash pad.”

Mr Natural observed:

“It’s possible to be very intelligent and a complete idiot simultaneously.”

Horse trading: Christopher Pyne leads the charge of the lightweight brigade. Picture: Twitter
Horse trading: Christopher Pyne leads the charge of the lightweight brigade. Picture: Twitter

It was a dark day for the Black Hand when Christopher Pyne reached the end of the line: the Defence Minister declared he was laying down his arms and had lovingly fondled his last warhead, with plans not to recontest his seat. Jason juxtaposed:

“The Liberals can take a 26-year-old with 2 years’ experience as a solicitor and contrive to give him 26 years in the parliament, ending his career as Defence Minister.

“The Liberals can take a 68-year-old with 40 years’ experience as a military leader and an outstanding service record and TWICE put him at the bottom of their Senate ballot, behind a flock of nobodies, ensuring his defeat at the next election. And they wonder where their supporters have gone?”

Andrew wasn’t pining:

“Mr Pyne is the most irritating politician in our parliament. That haughty, imperious, private school prefect manner was infuriating.

“Remember him bragging on that covert recording about being in the winners’ circle, ‘I’ve backed Malcolm in every leadership contest’ (whilst having earlier pledged loyalty to Abbott). His leaving can only enhance the Libs’ prospects.”

Weaponised: Christopher Pyne demonstrates that his hands are not black. Picture: AAP
Weaponised: Christopher Pyne demonstrates that his hands are not black. Picture: AAP

Paul painted a vulgar picture:

“Pyne is the portrait of a political hack. He has made it his business to know how the political sausage is made and by whom, rather than caring about how it tastes.

“He spent more time compiling dirt files on his colleagues than he did on developing good policy. For Pyne politics was all about playing the man and not the ball.

“The fact that people in his own party, like Julie Bishop still don’t trust him, is testimony to the political fixer.”

Subs, said Steve:

“He just cost the Australian tax payer $50 billion for diesel subs, that will not be delivered for years and will be out of date when delivered.”

Quite the legacy, said Sir Les:

“He holds the world record for pork barrelling during an election campaign: $50 billion!”

Trevor observed:

“(John) Howard had a sense of humour. Promoted Pyne as Minister for Ageing after 10 years withering on the back bench. Nice touch John.”

The lion in winter: We shall not see his like again. Picture: AAP
The lion in winter: We shall not see his like again. Picture: AAP

For Les Carlyon, it was always about the words, wrote Chip Le Grand in a heartfelt tribute to a great loss to journalism and writing. “He understood their value, he hated to see one wasted. Early yesterday afternoon, his lifetime’s love for them came to an end. A celebrated journalist, newspaper editor and war historian for more than half a century, Carlyon was remembered as ­national chronicler of Australia’s history, character and people.” Praise from Peter:

“Les was a master writer. His Gallipoli humanised the debacle, yet treated history fairly with respect. A tough job with such an iconic period. I’ve learnt much from his work. A life well lived and a legacy to behold. Vale Les.”

Rosalind’s requiem:

“Very sad news, indeed. Les was a great writer and was spellbinding when he spoke on any subject. We are lucky to have his works to read and reflect upon forever. His books on the Great War are classics, he honoured those who served and those left behind.
Arlys was moved:

The Great War tore at my heart. They bravery of both the men, and the women they left behind, makes me wonder, what happened to us?

“We truly owe them, we owe them all, and yet, we have not come up to standard. I hope they forgive us, as I do, Carlyon does.

“I hope he didn’t leave this world disappointed, I hope he understands it’s different times, different standards, but on Anzac Day, somehow many leave their somewhat self centred lives behind, and stand at dawn, grieving for our young, who never had a chance.

“RIP sir, go join your soldiers now.”

Brian’s lament:

“Will this coming generation ever throw up such a writer? I doubt it. Maybe, if their kids purge the universities, and teach the teachers how to teach, sanity and literacy will return. But I’ll be dead by then.”

Chris’s contribution:

“Vale, Les! I loved his description of Let’s Elope after she swept past the field to win the 1991 Melbourne Cup He called her ‘the chestnut avalanche’.”

Anthony averred:

“Vale indeed Les Carlyon, you were a giant among each circle in which you moved. Our nation owes you a great debt for bringing to bare the story of our nation at war.”

True great: Les Carlyon at the launch of The Great War. Picture:
True great: Les Carlyon at the launch of The Great War. Picture:

RIP, said Peter:

“The closing words of The Great War: ‘All the Australians who fought on the western front are gone now. There were so many of them and we never really saw them.’ Magnificent, immensely moving words from a masterful writer.”

From Richard:

“Les Carlyon had a way with words and history that I found entrancing. I used his ‘Gallipoli’ chapter on the Australian bush and Anzac with my students and it was poetic in setting what people and life was like in 1914.

“His 60 Minutes interview on the Gallipoli landing talked about the young men in a way that exuded empathy and brought the whole event into context. He had a talent for recreating events, bringing them alive; a rare talent that cannot be taught but he’d somehow mastered. “We won’t see his like for some time. RIP, Les.”

Once in a lifetime, said Gerard:

“His Great War lives in my memory because it was so sad. He never let me off the hook; no happy endings or any glimmer of one.

“Right to the end he gave us Harry Truman firing his howitzer at the defeated Germans on the last morning of the war. And then he told me the story of the Mons Star on the breasts of dead British soldiers found after the ceasefire.

“It was beautifully written, but I can never read it again. A man can only deal with one Great War.”

Each Friday the cream of your views on the news rises and we honour the voices that made the debate great. To boost your chances of being featured, please be pertinent, pithy and preferably make a point. Solid arguments, original ideas, sparkling prose, rapier wit and rhetorical flourishes may count in your favour. Civility is essential. Comments may be edited for length.

Jason Gagliardi

Jason Gagliardi is the engagement editor and a columnist at The Australian, who got his start at The Courier-Mail in Brisbane. He was based for 25 years in Hong Kong and Bangkok. His work has been featured in publications including Time, the Sunday Telegraph Magazine (UK), Colors, Playboy, Sports Illustrated, Harpers Bazaar and Roads & Kingdoms, and his travel writing won Best Asean Travel Article twice at the ASEANTA Awards.

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Original URL: https://www.theaustralian.com.au/opinion/columnists/an-old-white-male-with-far-too-much-white-privilege/news-story/76ab8c76ee000d69d6b55272b6922422