Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental but helpful

TWO men, one real, one fictional, both with axes to grind. We're sure that's where the similarities end.

Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho (2000):

THOUGH I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours . . . I simply am not there. I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why.

Mark Latham meets Tony Abbott on Thursday:

LONG time no see. Are you brave enough to shake my hand?

Laurie Oakes in a reflective mood on Nine News last Sunday:

NINE CEO David Gyngell was right to say Mark Latham crossed the line and to apologise. The trouble is that I am not sure Mark Latham knows where the line is.

Patrick Bateman again:

THERE are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I want my pain to be inflicted on others.

Mark Latham in the House of Representatives, March, 1999:

IT is true that the world does constantly change, but some things in it remain remarkably constant . . . Politics is full of ironies. Often it follows the dictum that my enemy's enemy is my friend . . . As Paul Keating made clear in his press release yesterday, it is time to seriously examine the question of journalistic ethics and professionalism, especially when they are so hopelessly abused by programs like 60 Minutes . . . None of us at any time under any circumstances should ever cave in to intimidation.

The Spectator Australia glances back and takes the cape while moving forward with its hankering for Tony Abbott:

OUR man of steel . . . only Tony Abbott can defend truth, justice and the Australian way.

Kerry O'Brien mistakes Tony Abbott for the bloke from the IT help desk on Tuesday:

CAN you really give that guarantee when you don't seem to know what peak speed is. I'll tell you what it is. It's quite an easy concept to understand. Peak speed is the best speed at which you can download material, usually when people are least likely to be using the internet, like at midnight. At other times, when there is congestion on the net, the speed will be much lower than that. So how can you say as a matter of course that the speeds your system will deliver will actually, more often than not, be much more than 12?

ABC News and Current Affairs style guide (serving suggestion only):

REMAIN calm and impartial; don't hector or lead the interviewee. Keep questions brief and relevant. Ask succinct questions and keep the interview moving forward.

Paul Toohey in The Punch yesterday on his encounter with a refugee from Aunty in Nauru:

THE asylum-seeker issue is getting major play in Australia and we wanted to know the mind of the president. But Rod Henshaw, an ex-ABC radio bloke from Brisbane, now working as director of media for the Nauru government, didn't like my complaints. "If you don't like it, stiff shit," Henshaw said. An appropriate choice of words. After all, that's what this country's built on.

Reds ain't reds; the Communist Alliance takes a revolutionary turn in its election campaign pamphlet:

PUT people's rights first.

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