Site for soreheads

NOTHING like a good, old-fashioned bit of harrumphing in a political press release.

NOTHING like a good, old-fashioned bit of harrumphing in a political press release.

And so to Tasmanian Liberal senator Eric Abetz, who cranked out one yesterday demanding, in thunderously large font, "Where's the OH&S Report, Minister?" It continued: "Despite the Minister issuing a media release, backgrounding journalists and answering a dixer in Question Time, days later the Final Regulatory Impact Statement on the harmonisation of [occupational health and safety] laws is still nowhere to be seen. 'To announce the release of something then not release it just shows the farcical lows that Labor would stoop to,' Senator Abetz said today." As Strewth likes to be helpful, we'll mention just quietly that it's up on Workplace Relations Minister Chris Evans's website. Just a little bit more quietly, we'll also mention it has been there since Wednesday.

You rang?

UNUSUAL as it feels to discuss the hair of a politician not called Craig Emerson, we feel questions must be asked about the arresting new hue of Rob Oakeshott's follicles (below), as premiered to an unsuspecting world on Sky News. Had someone's ginger toupee been deposited on his bonce by a sudden gust? Was it a pet? A ceremonial hat? Was he even aware of it or had he been prankily tinted in the night as he kipped? 2GB Broadcaster Ray Hadley was so taken aback, he got Oakeshott's barber, Jim, on the line from Port Macquarie yesterday. Jim was flabbergasted. "I can't believe he's gone there. The grey beard was enough, now he's gone rang!" he exclaimed before declaring his innocence: "There has never been any dye in this shop of any description. Not once, not ever. He must've gone home and got a bit excited and dyed his hair." On the plus side, Oakeshott has left a fetching silver wingtip over each ear, lending him a pleasing resemblance to The Sopranos actor Tony Sirico (inset).

Nearly secret launch

A BIT like the chef who doesn't cook at home, federal Communications Minister Stephen Conroy's office sometimes muffs its communications. Say yesterday, for the National Broadband Network launch in Willunga, nearly an hour's drive from Adelaide. Conroy, Penny Wong, South Australian premier-in-waiting Jay Weatherill, and three other federal and state MPs lobbed at 11am. But Conroy's media staff didn't notify Adelaide's media until 19 minutes before the event was due to start. The Weekend Australian got a tip-off from a local pollie's press sec (ta!), but neither Seven News nor SA's The Advertiser showed, and the ABC was 45 minutes late. As a bonus, the doorstop outside was set up in front of a school rubbish bin. Is there a hint here waiting to be taken? Honestly, it's almost enough to make one want an inquiry into the treatment of the media. [This is a joke.]

Great balls of fire

AMONG the lesser known victims of yesterday's hefty chemical blaze in the northern Canberra suburb of Mitchell were late-night punters at a handful of brothels located close to the fire site in Dacre Street. How the hostesses and clientele at the Kitten Club and Pretty Woman reacted to the spectacular 2am fireballs and thunderclap detonations as a 300,000-litre oil storage tank went up in smoke, and what impact it had on customer libidos, is now a subject of much speculation. But at a media briefing, ACT fire chief Paul Swain said he understood the premises evacuated quickly after an automated SMS emergency alert went out. All that and not one emergency withdrawal gag; well done us.