When men turn mongrel: shelter offers hope for women and pets

There is growing evidence that pets, like children, often become both pawns and victims in abusive relationships.

Paula Benson with Goobie at Adelaide’s pet-friendly St Vincent’s crisis shelter. Picture: Morgan Sette

Goobie is a two-year-old pug who does a funny thing his owner Paula Benson calls The Windmill whenever he meets someone new.

His front and rear legs spin around in a circle and he barks ­indignantly if he doesn’t get the ­attention he believes he deserves.

Goobie and Ms Benson are currently living at a secret location in Adelaide, a domestic violence shelter run by St Vincent de Paul which specialises in caring not just for women and their children, but also their pets.

This is because there is growing evidence that pets, like children, often become both pawns and victims in abusive relationships. Pets are also a key reason many women decide against leaving a violent partner for fear their dog or cat may be abandoned or even killed when they’re gone.

But once inside the safety of the St Vinnies Women’s Crisis Centre, the pets take on the role of comfort animals for their owners and other residents, who are often too tired and traumatised to go over their stories, and simply want to feel safe and secure.

The reason the centre’s ­location is secret was underscored with terrible effect in April, when mother of three Kim Murphy, 35, was murdered, allegedly by her ex-partner, at a similar shelter elsewhere in Adelaide.

Murphy had previously been a resident of the St Vinnies Centre.

The story of Ms Benson and Goobie is a bittersweet one, as Paula, who just turned 40, is one of the few women in emergency housing whose partner was a loving and caring bloke.

On Valentine’s Day 2018, he was diagnosed with an aggressive and terminal cancer, but before he died he bought Goobie for her 38th birthday.

“I think he knew he wasn’t going to win the battle so he bought Goobie for me out of love so that I would have some company when he was gone,” she said.

Ms Benson became a victim of domestic violence after her partner’s death when she moved into shared accommodation where she was assaulted by a male housemate and forced to flee.

For months she was homeless, sleeping in her car and couch-surfing, but six weeks ago managed to secure one of 20 spots at the St Vinnies shelter, one of the few in Australia designed to accommodate pets. “I wouldn’t have come here without Goobie,” Ms Benson said. “He’s been the only bit of stability and support on my life this last couple of years. Dogs aren’t like people. Dogs don’t struggle to find the right words to say or tip-toe around what you’ve been through. They’re just there.”

Eschewing the old advice never to work with children and animals, centre director Penny Ogden ­describes life in the shelter as “crazy, but good crazy” and says it has hosted almost 2500 women and more than 800 pets since it opened in 2017, the brainchild of former SA St Vinnies CEO and ­ex-SANFL Sturt footballer David Wark.

“Right now we have 20 women, 12 kids and seven dogs here,” Ms Ogden says.

“Being able to have pets is hugely important because it makes the place feel more homely and comforting, but it also means women can get out of abusive ­relationships without worrying about the fate of their pet.”

Ms Ogden tells horror stories about women whose pets have been tortured or killed in front of them and even their children by their partners, or whose partners have threatened and carried out attacks on the family pets in the event that they left home.

“It’s all about asserting power and control and the pets are used that way by these men,” she says.

The centre is about to partner with the University of Adelaide for a research project into the role of pets in violent relationships and the extent to which violence against those pets can be used to determine a person’s capacity for committing violence.

Ms Ogden says the centre has been home to women from ­diverse backgrounds and ages, from a 21-year-old who found out after her wedding that her childhood sweetheart was a thug, to a woman aged in her 70s who had suffered silently through a hellish 50-year marriage.