Ricky Nixon reveals: what caused my breakdown

Former AFL player and agent Ricky Nixon has detailed the full extent of his breakdown for the first time.

Former AFL player Ricky Nixon with his fiancee Melissa Huynh at Port Melbourne beach. Picture: David Geraghty, The Australian.

Former AFL player and agent Ricky Nixon has detailed the full extent of his breakdown for the first time, ­revealing he drank three bottles of red wine in 15 minutes and had a heated row with his fiancee before being rushed to hospital by police.

The 56-year-old said he had been suffering from severe depression and sleeping for only an hour a night in the weeks leading up to the incident on October 15.

“Unbeknown to all, I was struggling with the loss of two very good friends to suicide,” Nixon told The Weekend Australian.

“One was high-profile, and that’s Danny Frawley. He was not only my captain at St Kilda but one of my closest mates. The other was a mate I’d made earlier this year.”

Nixon said he had become increasingly reclusive and difficult to live with for his fiancee, Melissa Huynh, following Frawley’s death on September 9.

The former Richmond coach and media personality died after his car crashed into a tree near Ballarat the day after his 56th birthday and, while the coroner is still investigating, friends and family had revealed his mental health had deteriorated in the weeks ­before his death.

“I’d been sleeping on the sofa for about two weeks and only for an hour each night thinking about these guys,” Nixon said.

“I just didn’t want to talk to people; I didn’t want to see the world.”

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Things came to a head two weeks ago while he was home alone in his Port Melbourne apartment and, while still raw, Nixon said he believed it was important to discuss depression openly and honestly.

“I did something stupid. I drank three bottles of red wine in 15 minutes and my partner, Melissa, who’s been amazing throughout all this, rang anticipating something wasn’t right,” he said.

When Nixon explained he had been drinking heavily, it sparked a bitter argument.

“She said some things she ­regrets, and so did I,” he said.

“I reacted angrily and told her, ‘We’re finished.’ Then I posted on Facebook saying, ‘I’m going to go join Danny’.’’

Nixon made three disconcerting posts, prompting friends to contact police.

“The next thing, my doorbell’s ringing and the police are saying they need to rush me to hospital for a mental health assessment,” he said. “I didn’t react well to that but they did the right thing.”

The former player agent was taken to The Alfred hospital, in Melbourne’s east, where he was kept for observation overnight ­before being diagnosed with, what he describes as, an episode of ­“situational depression”.

It comes as a Productivity Commission report released on Thursday estimated there were 3.9 million Australians suffering mental health conditions, ranging from depression and anxiety to psychosis and borderline personality disorders.

It found mental health issues were costing the nation about $500m a day and recommended sweeping changes to the strategies employed to combat them, with many people still avoiding treatment for fear of being stigmatised.

It is a concern Nixon said he knew only too well. “I never felt (talking about things) was an ­option for me,” he said. “When I was a footy manager, I couldn’t show any weakness. So when the psychologist at the hospital said it’d be helpful for me to share my feelings with others, I thought, ‘yeah, right, I’m not going to be doing that’. But in the end, I made the decision to connect with friends and family and talk to them about it because none of us are as tough as we think we are, and talking does help.”

Nixon said he had spent the two weeks since his meltdown ­reconnecting with old mates, ­including former Sydney Swans star Warwick Capper and dual Brownlow medallist Greg Williams.

A renowned joker, Capper said mental health was one issue he took seriously, having also lost two close friends — Charlotte Dawson and Annalise Braakensiek — to suicide.

“I was absolutely rocked by their deaths — they were young women with everything to live for,” he said. “It’s not about beauty, and it’s not about the money or the fame, it’s about where your head is at. Sometimes people don’t think anyone cares but they do.

“A couple of weeks ago, Ricky was in a bad place but he’s reconnecting with mates now and we’re looking after him together. It’s ­important people talk about it and I will always be there to talk.”

Williams was equally effusive, adding: “Even with myself, I probably don’t see the doctor enough or talk about what’s going on with everything, none of us really do, and that’s when you start having problems. Reconnecting with your mates is so important and, even if there’s nothing wrong, you know you’ll end up having a good laugh at the very least, so it should be a priority for everyone.”

Nixon said mental health ­issues had been overlooked for far too long, and warned it was a particularly prominent issue among elite athletes. “People would have no idea the amount of superstar players I’ve managed with mental health issues and it’s only coming to light now,” he said.

“A lot of the stars in the game have anxiety issues, they’re ­depressed, their only happiness is going out on the ground.

“All my life, I’ve been the exact opposite. I’ve never had any mental health issues. You never know who it will affect.

“People thought when I was in trouble about 10 years ago that I might have been depressed but, back then, I was just stressed.”

In 2011, Nixon’s marriage and career were unravelling after it was revealed he had been involved in an inappropriate relationship with a 17-year-old schoolgirl.

Nixon admitted to visiting the girl at a hotel room on at least three occasions. He was suspended by the AFL Players ­Association accreditation board for two years while his marriage fell apart.

“The stress came with being in the paper each day, my kids seeing it, my kids suffering,” he said.

“I got an email from one of my sons at the time, saying, ‘I’ve lost my dad, I’ve lost my footy coach, my heart is broken’. Wanting to rectify that and make it up to my kids, that actually helped me bounce back. But this latest incident was completely different.”

He said he was taking steps to combat his demons, starting with 5am jogs each day since leaving hospital.

“I ran 400m the first day and nearly carked it, now I’m up to 1.2km. It’s hardly a marathon, but it does change your mindset — the doctors are right: if you start exercising, you start to get your mojo back,” he said.

He has also launched a campaign encouraging others to ­reconnect and find the same strength in friends and family that he has during the past fortnight.

“Our lives are being controlled by phones, and computers, and the internet and social media,” he said. “We’ve got to stop texting our friends and asking if they’re OK and actually go and see them to find out. They don’t have to tell you, if you see them you’ll be able to tell, and you can help by just ­giving them a hug.

“That’s my rule with everyone now. No more handshakes. When you hug someone, it gives you a real connection, real help.”