The Sketch: Quietly flows The Don … for now

Anthony Albanese during question time on Thursday. Picture: AAP

“May the force be with you,” a certain group of Labor MPs snickered to each other on Thursday, after being outed by Ten News. With tongues firmly in cheeks, some are now referring to themselves as the Rebel Alliance.

Leaving open the question, who is Darth Vader trying to squash the rebel forces? Scott Morrison or Anthony Albanese?

Yet one had a gripe: “The dinner wasn’t at Otis, it was at Kokomos!”

Sure the email chain is called the “Otis Group” — a homage to the home of the national Labor Right dinners, the Otis Dining Hall in Kingston — but their one meeting (so far) took place in a private room at Kokomos, a cocktail bar in Civic.

According to those in attendance, the meeting was to back in Albanese’s leadership (and his move towards the centre), not to destabilise it. There are shades of Tony Abbott and Peter Dutton’s infamous Monkeypod lunch club: right-wingers only!

Forget Star Wars — this is a mafia movie starring South Australian Labor senator Don Farrell, whose nickname within the party is “The Godfather”.

Otis is the Right’s restaurant of choice for one reason: it’s the only place in Canberra that stocks his Farrell Wine.

At the last Right dinner, $99 got you a steak with pepper sauce and a glass of The Don’s white and red.

The Otis menu lists Farrell Wine’s 2017 shiraz for $14 a glass and $61 a bottle. The 2017 riesling is just $55 a bottle.

Just like Godfather II, let’s flashback. To 2013, when faceless factional man Farrell was moved to the unwinnable spot on Labor’s South Australian ticket to save Penny Wong.

“Sometimes they call me The Godfather. There’s been a number of sequels of The Godfather so maybe there’ll be one for me into the future,” he ominously said.

To mourn the early death of his political career, Farrell found solace pruning grapes at his Clare Valley vineyard. His second coming was a bespoke handcrafted cabernet named, with a wink, “Godfather Too”. It sells for a $110 a bottle at Otis.

By 2016, Farrell was back in parliament and quickly promoted to deputy leader of the opposition in the Senate. In May 2019, after the rise of Albanese, he was again pushed aside, this time for Kristina Keneally (who, incidentally, is his distant cousin).

With some spare time on his hands, we hear Farrell visits Otis multiple times during sitting weeks. He was caught there (or was he?) by Ten’s cameras earlier this week. “The Otis Group is just a group of Labor people who are interested in supporting coal workers,” a well-rehearsed Farrell explained.

Albanese seemed unfazed: “I suspect people went out to dinner last night, too, and they had dinner in a few restaurants. I did. That’s what happens in Canberra. People go out and people chat about ideas. There is nothing unusual about this.”

WA Labor MP Patrick Gorman wasn’t at the dinner “but I will admit that I have eaten at Otis restaurant and it’s a lovely place and they’ve got a great wine list”.

How grape is it? We asked the Canberra bubble’s premiere sommelier, Tasmanian Greens senator Peter Whish-Wilson, who has a wine-growing degree from CSU and is the former owner of Three Wishes Vineyard in the Tamar Valley.

He offered this review of the Farrell shiraz. “See: looks red, but not full-bodied. Swirl: lots of complexity, little cohesion. Sniff: familiar factional notes, not to everyone’s taste. Sip: may be past its use-by date. Savour: lingers on the palate, keeps coming back long after you’ve put it down.”

He also gave this warning: “Overconsumption of grapes of wrath usually results in a spill.”

Keep an eye out for a horse’s head. Or cannoli.