The Sketch: Mark Dreyfus offers a masterclass in ducking and diving … and now they’re all at it

Anthony Albanese. Picture: Gary Ramage

There’s an art to dodging a question and steering a skull session into spin. Take Labor’s Mark Dreyfus, when asked by the ABC about this august organ’s front page on Wednesday.

Virginia Trioli: “Why were you yelling at Joel Fitzgibbon in the caucus meeting yesterday?”

Dreyfus: “I’m not going to discuss what happened in the shadow cabinet, Virginia. I can assure you and all your listeners that there wasn’t any yelling.”

Trioli tried again: “But there’s a quote here in the paper that you intervened and called Mr Fitzgibbon a disgrace and that Joel Fitzgibbon replied ‘shut up, you idiot, you just assured me I’m on the right path.’ Is that a misquote?”

Dreyfus: “I’m not going to discuss what happened in shadow cabinet. But let’s talk about Joel Fitzgibbon’s views.” Let’s not.

On to question time and Nats leader Michael McCormack ­diverted down a side street when thrown a Dorothy Dixer about jobs. “Could it have been the member for Hunter? No, he would have yelled out ‘you’re a disgrace’.”

Veteran’s Affairs Minister Darren Chester valiantly attempted a roadblock.

Q: “Do you think Christian Porter and Alan Tudge should stand down?” Chester: “Ah, look … I’m not offering any further comment to that story. Both ministers have made statements, the statements stand.

Take two: “As someone who has been in parliament for a long time …” Chester: “No, I’ve ­answered your question, I’m not going to make any comment.”

And three: “As a cabinet …” Chester: “You either can’t hear me or you’re not understanding — I’m not making any further comment.”

Anthony Albanese took a bumper-to-bumper approach. He hastily held a press conference 15 minutes before question time on Tuesday to promote Ed Husic, and promised The Oz’s own political gumshoe Greg Brown that he could have the final question. You wouldn’t know it from the official transcript, but here’s how the ­interaction played out.

“Greg, last question. Make it a good one,” the Labor leader said. Brown began: “I’d like to follow up Katherine’s question on targets cause you’re clearly leaving the option open.” Albanese interjected: “Bring it home. Bring it home, Greg.” Brown continued: “Could you go to the next election …” But that’s as far as he got.

“I refer to my previous ­answers,” Albanese trolled. “There you go.” And ghosted the gallery with a big grin.

Freelancing Fitzgibbon continued to crash and crash through his resignation tour on Sunrise. David Koch started with the question on everyone’s lips: “Are you going to challenge for the leadership or not? Yes or no?”

Fitz jumped the kerb: “I’ll tell you what I’ll be doing, Kochie. I’ll be in the caucus room tonight, watching the State of Origin, watching the Blues win, with ­Anthony Albanese and drinking his beer. But I do promise this: we won’t be having a beer for every dust-up we’ve had, which was his suggestion, because …”

Asked about the could ’a’ been fisty cuffs, Fitz took the Dreyfus defence of who swears on tour, stays on tour. Koch continued: “Would you be the better leader?” Fitz said: “Anthony Albanese is our leader, I believe he’ll lead us to the next election.” But he could be a better leader if he listened to Fitz?

Former frontbencher Matt Canavan used his coal comrade to turn to the topic on Today. “You can’t let me not get away without talking about Joel. It’s such a sad day for the country, that Joel, one of the very few sensible people in the Labor Party, is no longer there. Even he can’t cop the crazy lefties.” Labor’s Malarndirri McCarthy responded: “Oh Matt, you’re so sympathetic, I can just hear it through my earphones.”