The Sketch: Liberals in a corner but Joel Fitzgibbon steals the show

Joel Fitzgibbon in question time on Tuesday. Picture: Gary Ramage

The ABC marketing unit should hire Liberal senators Amanda Stoker and Sarah Henderson, stat!

Their forward sizzling of Aunty at estimates — Blackmail! Stings! Smut! — guaranteed big numbers for Four Corners’ MeToo look at the Canberra Bubble™. WhatsApp, Signal and Wickr chats pinged across the capital. It was the sixth-most watched show (behind the finale of Junior MasterChef), with 824,000 pairs of eyes.

A textbook example of the Streisand effect. Named after Barbra, it’s an online phenomenon that occurs when someone tries to suppress something juicy (a photograph, video or story) and it backfires.

In 2003, the singer sued Kenneth Adelman for distributing aerial snaps of her Malibu mansion. He wasn’t a paparazzo, merely the man behind California Coastal Records. The shot had been accessed six times; she sued for $US50m. News outlets reported on her outrage, reprinting the photo ad nauseam. Streisand lost the lawsuit and was ordered to cover Adelman’s costs.

A similar thing happened with Peter Dutton in 2016. After Fairfax tweeted a shadowy photograph, the then immigration minister’s office called in a huff and requested the “unflattering” image be taken down. The journos complied, but it was too late. Because of the internet.

The Liberals should have just waited for Labor’s poorly timed self-implosion. “This morning I went to see my mate, Anthony Albanese, and informed him that I was stepping down from the shadow cabinet,” Joel Fitzgibbon informed the media with a smile.

Why Tuesday? “Well, if this is the wrong day, when is the right day? Christmas is coming on. I wanted both the NSW Right and the leader to have sufficient space to organise and fill the vacancy.”

No really, why Tuesday?

Because there was a blue in Monday night’s shadow cabinet meeting that witnesses say was worse than anything during the Rudd-Gillard-Rudd years. Albanese went off the talking points to call out … people who went off the talking points.

“I’m right here, mate,” Fitz apparently hit back.

Words were exchanged, Mark Dreyfus was involved, Richard Marles tried to simmer tensions and Albo told everyone to shut up.

Freelancing Fitz was swiftly replaced with another famous freelancer, Ed Husic.

“Congratulations, and that means you cannot interject anymore,” Speaker Tony Smith told the western Sydney MP before question time. “What!” Husic threw his hand in the air. “If I had known that I wouldn’t have taken the job.”

Fitz arrived minutes later confused about where to sit. A reshuffle occurred, Peter Khalil was sent to the back of the room and Fitz settled into a seat in the third row. “The member for Hunter said today how did it all go so terribly wrong?” Angus Taylor quipped. “Well, four words, the member for Hindmarsh.” Aka Mark Butler.

Scott Morrison took a stab. “The member for Hunter has been driven out of the shadow cabinet. Driven out by an ideological group of zealots on that side of the House who have no interest in the jobs of Australians in regional areas. That is the view of the member for Hunter. Come on board.”

Albanese’s retort? “Who said Donald Trump is gone.”

As Malcolm Turnbull told Four Corners: “If you think Canberra is a bubble, Parliament House is a bubble inside a bubble.”