Holy twin piques, batman

When one of our own former leaders tells the world that Australia ­cannot be trusted, the problem is pathetically clear.

Former prime ministers Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turnbull have become The Joker and Riddler of post-political life. Picture: AAP

Neither Kevin Rudd nor Malcolm Turnbull would appreciate the comparison, but the post-politics prancing of these former prime ministers has much in common with Donald Trump. They claim to have been robbed of their political careers and insist none of those who came before or after them matched their political brilliance.

On one level, their antics are ­becoming an irrelevance; most media and surely most voters would view the performances of these ex-PMs as a political version of a P.T. Barnum freak show. We know we should not pay them any attention, but we just cannot resist taking a peep.

Yet when we hear one of our own former national leaders telling the world that this country ­cannot be trusted, well, then we wonder about how petty, personal and political vendettas can actually harm our national interest.

When we see how these embittered former leaders are willing to do lasting harm to their country, former colleagues, or their parties just to indulge their grudges, we are left to wonder how their parties ever elevated them to leadership.

This is not to overlook the ­talents each possess. I served as Turnbull’s chief of staff in 2009, so I am well aware of his attributes.

Perhaps it is best to think of them as flawed characters in some political version of a superhero comic, as we wonder what could have been if this Joker and Riddler had used their powers for good.

In my Sky News documentary earlier this year, Men in the Mirror, a range of contributors traced the remarkable similarities between these men, from their early lives, their pre-political careers, their time in parliament and their obsessions since. And a question was posed at the end about whether we need to find better uses for our ­former prime ministers.

Australia has six former leaders alive today, Turnbull, Rudd, Tony Abbott, Julia Gillard, John Howard and Paul Keating. We tend to hear from all of them, but only Rudd and Turnbull are problematic; only they seek to undermine the current government and, in doing so, damage the national interest, not to mention their own standing and legacies.

Abbott is bristling with unfulfilled ambition but tries to keep his gripes to himself and limit his political interventions to the positive side of the ledger. Mind you, his new podcast series will test that, as it did this week when he railed against our Covid authoritarianism – at least he sticks to the issues and avoids the score-settling.

Kevin Rudd in Nambour. Picture: Patrick Woods.

Howard tends to take the stage only for significant events and anniversaries, and always as an elder statesman looking to calm the ­waters and offer perspective rather than contemporaneous advice or self-justification.

Gillard refuses to engage in political commentary (aside from some contributions about women in politics) and concentrates on useful work for good causes.

Keating’s intercessions are decidedly pointed and usually self-serving, but whether you agree or disagree with his takes, they are invariably centred on serious policy issues. There is also a consistency about his arguments – he is an Asia-first and Super-first kind of a guy.

When Rudd and Turnbull intervene – a poor choice of word ­because they offer an almost constant diatribe in stream of consciousness style – you do not know whether to laugh or cry. There is no doubt they have sometimes managed to inflict wounds on their ­enemies (mainly former colleagues). But I suspect most of their damage has been done through subterranean briefings that have informed or manifested themselves in some of the more contentious political stories of recent years. In their public utterings, whatever victories they have had have been pyrrhic because every overt attack has diminished them.

We are left to wonder whether they have no close friends or family capable of pulling them aside and telling them what spectacles they are making of themselves. For almost two decades I have known Rudd mainly as an ideological adversary, although we have had some civil exchanges over the years, but Turnbull I know well, so it saddens as well as confounds me to witness this ongoing train wreck.

In Men in the Mirror, the former editor-in-chief of this newspaper, Chris Mitchell, suggested our political system needed to find productive roles for former prime ministers. It is a fine ideal but I guess that while it would be easy to envisage Gillard or Abbott fulfilling a task on behalf of the nation with dignity and discipline, surely Rudd and Turnbull have disqualified themselves from such consideration.

Paul Keating. Picture: AAP

Both have enough money that the last thing they actually need is any kind of official appointment or salary – another parallel with Trump. Nothing focuses the professional outlook like the need to pay a mortgage.

Turnbull weighed in this week with all the stealth of a recharging diesel submarine. He said Scott Morrison had acted “deceitfully” in diplomacy and that he would not take “any lectures on patriotism” from a Prime Minister he accused of putting our national security at risk.

The former prime minister said the cancellation of the submarine contract with France signalled to the world that Australia would “act honestly unless it is judged in our national interest to deceive”. He said this tells you “Australia can’t be trusted”.

Rudd took to Twitter to back Turnbull, and the former Labor leader accused Morrison of up-ending his submarine strategy merely to create a distraction from pandemic management. It says a lot about a former prime minister to observe that his tone and content is a perfect match for Twitter.

Turnbull also zeroed in on Morrison’s pandemic management, declaring vaccine procurement was the “biggest failure of public administration” he has seen – a statement so shrill it might be ­beyond the scope of the Greens. If these blokes could dial back their venom by about 50 per cent they might be more convincing.

On climate change Turnbull sounded more like Greta Thunberg than a rational adult: “If we burn coal forever, the planet is going to be fried.”

Julia Gillard celebrates Freedom Day in London. Picture: Instagram

He made a pre-emptive strike against Morrison, should the PM choose not to attend the Glasgow climate conference – and, surprise, surprise, Rudd went with the same attack on Twitter.

Turnbull revealed that he is packing his kilt and will attend Glasgow, obviously deciding that his carbon footprint is a small price for the planet to pay in order to receive his wisdom at this climate gabfest. If Morrison must pay his dues, ­perhaps he should do it via Zoom.

Think about how hard it will be for our diplomats to complain about Beijing’s belligerent attacks on Australia now. The Chinese can point out that two of our own ex-PMs, from both major parties, have launched similar broadsides.

Rudd and Turnbull will be toasted in Beijing and Paris this week. And perhaps at Ultimo too. If these former politicians could have won over party room followers the way they collect them on social media, they would have been leaders forever. Social media gives them an instant and willing audience and a way to soak up adulation and affirmation, as they indulge their appetite for attention and revenge.

It is quite a pathetic sight, redolent of the post-political habit of Whitlam-era treasurer and deputy prime minister Jim Cairns, who for years could be seen at various Melbourne markets selling his self-published books from a card table. But Cairns, at least, was driven by a world view he was keen to advocate and, besides, his humble hawking exuded a quiet dignity rather than the self-important grandstanding of today’s disgruntled pair.

In an embittered amalgam between Trump’s “This election was rigged” and Marlon Brando’s “I coulda been a contender”, these former prime ministers blame their political downfalls on News Corp, publishers of The Weekend Australian. Their arguments on this topic are unhinged and find a credulous audience only on Twitter and at the ABC.

Yet Rudd is not above having his opinion pieces published in News Corp’s The Wall Street Journal. Go figure.

These two now talk a big game on climate, slamming their own country’s lack of “ambition” and constantly urging bolder action. Yet they both squibbed this issue in office, making transparent calculations to sacrifice emission reduction plans in desperate efforts to save their own political skin.

Rudd declined to take his Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme to a double dissolution, and Turnbull eviscerated his National Energy Guarantee in an attempt to placate his party room. Both leaders were emitted by their parties, regardless.

Yet now, once more, they are climate warriors – ever courageous with other people’s political careers.