Facebook pushes nuclear button in Cold News War

Australians are no longer allowed to access and share news on Facebook. Picture: istock

Has Scott Morrison tried turning it off and on again?

Facebook pushed the nuclear button in the Cold News War, banning the entire world from accessing Australian news five days before the Pfizer vaccine is rolled out. Mark Zuckerberg sure has come a long way since creating a website to rate the hotness of women at Harvard.

It’s not just news organisations that were wiped. QLD Health, the Bureau of Meteorology, the ACT government, Fire and Emergency Services WA, Disability Advocacy Australia, 1800 Respect, Suicide Prevention Australia, Harvey Norman and Facebook’s own Facebook page were “inadvertently” blocked. Satire sites The Betoota Advocate, The Chaser and The Shovel were gone too.

WA Premier Mark McGowan’s page is still up, but Opposition Leader Zak Kirkup’s is down. Another hurdle for the back of the pack Liberals 23 days out from the state election.

. @Facebook
Hey guys, it's your boss here. Please unban the Chaser's facebook page and also give them a million dollars. Thanks!

— Mark Zuckerberg (@chaser) February 17, 2021

“And I have spoke this morning to the operator of North Shore Mum, which is a well known Facebook page in my own electorate,” Communications Minister Paul Fletcher said. “Like a number of similar services around Australia, her page, her Facebook page, has been blocked, and that is of significant concern.” I’ll say!

Get that Sydney mum on the phone to she can say: “Mr Zuckerberg, tear down this paywall!”

Here’s an idea … Imagine if we shared the news by printing it on paper before distributing it? No, that couldn’t work. Maybe there could be websites or apps where you pay for information? Sounds too good to be true.

Why bother with news when you can get fake news for free from your 5G conspiracy cousin, former roommate who thinks the Queen is a lizard, and a boomer who thinks face masks are a form of child abuse and dog heartworm tablet can treat COVID-19!

Oh wait, Craig Kelly has already been suspended from Facebook and light lover Pete Evans from Instagram.

Craig Kelly pretending to be working on his computer while on the desktop is my favorite thing of the day. The perfect analogy of the government and its approach to technology. pic.twitter.com/Y84FpIFB3J

— Masericha (@masericha) February 2, 2021

Which social media platform will Quiet Australians turn to for their news next (and birthday alerts they will ignore) … Tom from MySpace? ICQ? Live Journal? Bebo? Flickr? Tumblr? Pinterest? Snapchat? Tinder? Co-Star? LinkedIn? The People’s Republic of TikTok?

Leigh Sales’ 7:30 political interview could double as a Rasputin challenge (Boney M’s 1978 euro-disco banger has gone viral among tweens), Bruce McAvaney could do a sporting sea shanty, and Paul Kelly could write a column quiz “Pick an IR law and we’ll guess what your star sign is”.

“Everyone needs to tell their parents: from now on if it’s on Facebook and about something in Australia, it by definition is not news and can’t be trusted,” ABC journo Casey Briggs tweeted. The Guardian’s Bridie Jabour lamented, “Remember when Tumblr changed their rules and loads of teenagers ended up on here ....... what if our parents are coming from FB to Twitter.” The horror!

Trying to post a news article on #Facebook #@?! ‘Sup pic.twitter.com/p8JGaJZAW3

— Stephen Jones MP (@StephenJonesMP) February 18, 2021

Suddenly ScoMo (a new musical, coming this spring!) and his brainwave that “Bing would go off” if Google pulls the plug makes some Luddite sense. The fibre-to-the-node of search engines.

Fletcher was spotted riding the waves of the world wide web with Bing in footage for Safer ­internet Day earlier this month. “I mean, just to be clear I use Google extensively, but I use DuckDuckGo on my mobile phone and have done that for six months, quite unrelated to present developments,” the grey suit sporter confessed to Sky. “I have been using Bing recently.”

Forget inner-city elites who use Facebook to find out about the latest laneway latte trend, Bob Katter wants to use Facebook’s “dummy spit” to build an Australian owned social media platform. He suggested calling it “The Ringer”, after the male or female stock workers on an Australian cattle stations.

“We should not be held to ransom by a jumped-up, super-rich, American know-all,” the 75-year-old said. “In Queensland we built and owned the railways, the electricity network and we built the coal industry, the aluminium industry and the tourism industry.

“I’ve been here in federal parliament almost 30 years and as far as I can tell we’ve built nothing. But we have sold off all the things that the great governments before us built. I say the American tech-giants should leave town immediately. We’ll run our own affairs thank you … (with) an independent board and a charter.”

Who could undertake such a digital offering? How about the man who, according to Tony “I’m no tech head” Abbott, “virtually invented the internet in Australia” … Malcolm Bligh Turnbull AC!