Nothing can mask the WrestleMania fun of old-style question time

The New Politics lasted 19 minutes before the opposition accused Anthony Albanese of accusing them of being pro-violent criminals.

Anthony Albanese in a classically rowdy question time in Canberra – his first as Prime MInister. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Gary Ramage

The New Politics lasted 19 minutes. Just six questions into the very first question time of the 47th parliament and the opposition was accusing Anthony Albanese of ­accusing them of being pro-­violent criminals, the Prime Minister was bellowing about politics being debased and everyone was shouting “Shame!”

And yet it all started so well.

The Albanese government has managed to reform rowdy press gallery media conferences – the morning’s presser with Jim Chalmers had had enough raised hands there to make a ­kindergarten teacher weep.

The government has made much of wanting more legislating and less sledging, shrieking, ranting, scoffing and booing.

But that wouldn’t be much fun, would it?

Labor’s masks made it harder to tell who was barking what, but no face-covering could mask the pure joy of a team realising this was going to be an old-style WrestleMania Question Time.

As for the Coalition, “depressed” is one word that came to mind for the newly subdued former government MPs, a handful of whom spent most of question time pecking at their phones.

The first sledge came from Albanese himself.

It had been prompted by Peter Dutton’s question about why Labor was “making a bad situation worse” by scrapping the building watchdog.

Albanese sounded polite as he started: “Thanks very much, the Leader of the Opposition, for the question; I congratulate him on his election as leader of the Liberal Party.”

Dutton gave the merest hint of a nod of thanks, correctly anticipating what was coming next.

Albanese: “I wish him well as Leader of the Opposition. I hope he stays there for a very, very long time.”

Muffled guffaws.

‘Where are your masks?’ Aged Care Minister Anika Wells demanded of a largely maskless opposition. Picture: Gary Ramage

Deputy Liberal leader Sussan Ley asked Albanese about the watchdog’s action against a CFMEU official for “allegedly pushing, shoving and verbally abusing a female health and safety manager”.

Albanese said: “I believe if someone commits assault, they should be charged with assault and dealt with. That’s what I believe.

“I’m surprised that you don’t. This seems to be a controversial issue.”

Manager of opposition business Paul Fletcher leapt to his feet for one of numerous “they-been-doin-it-all-day!” appeals.

“That is an imputation against every member on this side. The Prime Minister just said that you don’t believe assault is a serious matter. Of course we believe assault is a serious matter!”

Milton Dick, on his question time whistleblowing debut, dispatched Fletcher back to the green leather.

“No, resume your seat, that is not a point of order,” he ruled.

Albanese’s volume, and his pitch, went up: “I’ve made it very clear that where someone commits a crime, they should be charged with it. I’ve never heard of this bloke, never heard of him.”

Dutton said without raising his volume: “They gave the Labor Party $5m … how could you not know?”

Albanese was mid-rant by this stage.

“It says a lot about why they’re sitting opposite,” Albanese said, “that they come in here today and they could ask questions about ­inflation … And what do we get? Back to the same old bucket.

“Politics should be better than that, but I’m not surprised that the opposition isn’t,” Albanese said loftily to a chorus of “Uggghhh,” from the opposition.

When Dutton and Albanese weren’t catcalling and eye-rolling, they were, remarkably, chatting.

The pair kept up a mumbled exchange. It seemed quite friendly. Dutton chuckled at one point.

But the sledges went on.

“This country is under new management!” declaimed Defence Minister Richard Marles. “There’s a serious group of people in charge!”

“I follow the medical advice!” snapped Aged Care Minister Anika Wells, in a regal purple pants suit and a violet mask. “Where are your masks? “

Only three Coalition MPs, by the way, wore a mask: Karen Andrews, Stuart Robert and former speaker Andrew Wallace.

The Greens were all masked, with the exception of Adam Bandt, who took his off by the end of question time.

The teals – who had not been in the house, curiously, for the introduction of the climate legislation earlier in the day – were all masked.

OG independents Andrew Wilkie, Rebekha Sharkie and Bob Katter were maskless.

Dick didn’t throw anyone out of the chamber on Day One. He didn’t even have to threaten.

Telling heckler Terry Young to sit down at 2.43pm, the Speaker said: “You will cease interjections at least until the minister starts speaking.”

Laughter from both sides.

Maybe it is a little kinder and gentler after all.