Mum’s mental health plea for help: No beds, no time, no help.

After her daughter became suicidal and was turned away from mental health services and emergency care, a Melbourne mum is determined to shine a light on Victoria’s shadow pandemic.

The Covid-19 pandemic has increased demand for adolescent and child mental health services.

For 18 months, a mother has watched her once motivated, ­active and social daughter slowly fall apart.

As the Covid-19 pandemic has swept the world, she has seen her 16-year-old struck by anxiety, not eat for days and self-harm.

Two Tuesday’s ago, things hit rock bottom after the pair was bounced between four different mental health services and her daughter said: “My plan is to go home and end it.”

The family – which has asked to remain anonymous – decided to go public with its story to raise awareness about the mental health crisis gripping Victoria’s young people.

On August 3, the Victorian family was advised by its doctor to contact the Royal Children’s Hospital after the teenager’s condition deteriorated.

“The intrusive thoughts were really bad,” her mother told The Australian. “I called the Royal Children’s and they said we will put you through to the mental health department.

“So then they put me through to Orygen. And then that’s meant to be apparently for the western suburbs. Then we spoke to Headspace, who said you have to call The Austin because you are in that area. So I called Austin triage. (A lady) said you could come in but you would be waiting all day.”

The next day, an Austin staff member called and spoke with the teenager’s mother. She said they told her: “There is not much that can be done in here. The system is just bursting at the seams.”

By Friday August 6, the day after Victoria was plunged into its sixth lockdown, the young girl reached a tipping point and none of the usual cognitive support tools, which included calling Lifeline or another safety contact, worked. That day, she had a school counselling appointment but was hysterical afterwards, her mother said.

They found themselves in emergency at the Royal Children’s Hospital “because (her daughter) doesn’t see the possibility of a ­future. The doctors assessed her and the mental health lady came in. They did an assessment,” she said.

“She said you have a choice to admit her or not to admit her (to a psychiatric ward).”

After they weighed the pros and cons, they decided it was the safest place for the teenager. But in the end there were no beds at the children’s or Austin hospitals.

Faced with no other option, the pair went home with a prescription for valium – a muscle relaxant that can be used to treat anxiety.

They were left with no plan, and were unsure how to cope if the teenager lapsed into hopelessness again. “She felt totally unheard, the teenager’s mother said.

“She said: ‘Nobody cares. I’m telling them I’m going to kill myself but they sent me home.’”

Meanwhile, the teenager’s mother is trying to hold her family together. “It is incredibly emotional and hard. I am sleeping with her every night. Everything still needs to be happening in the house … I have two other kids still homeschooling,” she said.

“You are going from trying to talk her down to putting on a load of washing. It is constant.

“I am constantly trying to keep her distracted, engaged and monitored.”

Her daughter feels claustrophobic, too. “She feels suffocated,” her mother said. “(We are) both exhausted. Mentally, emotionally, physically – there is no aspect that ever feel likes it is resting.”

Her father has to work full-time and is trying to understand.

“They would start to bicker. He was struggling so much. He was feeling like ‘Every time I try to talk to her, I feel like I make it worse. I just want her to know I care,’ ” the mother said.

“Now they just hold hands. Unspoken is better than spoken. He said ‘I think we understand each other like that’. Then she doesn’t feel like she has to explain herself.”

To keep her alive, the mother tells her daughter that lockdowns will come to an end, and reminds her what life was like before the pandemic. “She was highly motivated. She would get up every morning and exercise,” she said.

“She loves socialising and is a people person. She was a happy, normal teenager. Her plan after she turned 18 was to travel to South America.”

In response to questions, The Royal Children’s Hospital would “not confirm or deny if any person attended the hospital”.

The Austin said the Covid-19 pandemic increased demand for adolescent and child mental health services. “Day-to-day demand varies and we continue to prioritise admissions based on the patient’s needs as well as working with other child and adolescent health units to access resources if needed,” a spokesman said.

Lifeline: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636 ­
Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800