How new queen of hearts Mary reined in her casanova king Frederik
When Prince Frederik is crowned king, the Danes will be silently thanking Mary Donaldson.
When Prince Frederik is crowned king of Denmark, Greenland and the Faroe Islands in a relatively perfunctory handover from his mother, Queen Margrethe, on January 14, the Danes will be silently thanking Mary Donaldson.
When the former Tasmanian real estate accountant met the man called Fred in a group of European royalty celebrating the Sydney Olympics at the Slip Inn, the Crown Prince was still the fast car-loving partying playboy, uncertain of the hereditary role ahead of him and questioning of whether he had the confidence to become king.
Frederik said he was insecure, shy and awkward, which manifested itself in some questionable rebellion: one girlfriend had even been charged with drink driving; another time he was thrown from a car in an accident after driving the wrong way. He would date highly attractive actors and lingerie models.
He said his behaviour had occurred because his parents had been hesitant and even “depressed” to talk to him about being the future king.
“That was a big minus. It made me insecure and sometimes shy and awkward, and later I got hit for it in the press because I behaved strangely, “ Frederik, now 55, later recalled.
Indeed the question mark among friends of the couple was not whether Mary had snagged a crown, but whether the man known as “turbo prince” was good enough for Mary, a commerce law graduate finding her way in real estate accounts and advertising, and who was earnestly throwing herself into the relationship.
Extra Bladet royal commentator Kim Bach told The Weekend Australian that, as a younger man, Frederik doubted himself for the job and his partying ways were “almost obligatory for young princes”.
Fast forward 23 years and on Sunday week the dashing couple will arrive at the Christiansborg Castle in Copenhagen as crown prince and crown princess and leave as Their Majesties King Frederik X and Queen Mary of Denmark.
The first born of their four children, 18-year-old Christian, will become the crown prince and interestingly Queen Margrethe, while standing aside, will retain her majesterial title and establish her own court.
However at this time of great change and after two decades of help to propel Frederik into become a leader and a family man, dutiful Mary, 51, is again propping him up.
Still the party prince
Two months ago Frederik’s reputation was sullied after a night partying with Mexican socialite Genoveva Casanova in Spain – captured by a weekly magazine. Despite the humiliation, Mary has been steadfast and loyal.
She has conducted royal engagements with her head held high, and Frederik, too, has sought to portray a togetherness, clasping her hand at a new year’s Cure event for the cameras.
In hindsight, was Frederick’s mystery assignation with Casanova whom he reportedly first met on a hunting trip, a final hurrah before knowing he was to carry the weight of being king?
Days after the queen announced her imminent abdication, the tension between Frederik and Mary is still palpable.
The fairytale crowning of an Australian-born queen is marred by her tightness of face, and while both smile at official functions, it is not at each other.
Margrethe’s chamberlain Fritz Schur told of how the new year’s Cure, a formal annual diplomatic event, felt “ a little pressured”, with Margrethe appearing wistful. On Thursday she went on one of her last rides in the gold state carriage through a snowy Copenhagen, with well wishers lining the route.
Abdication plan
The Danes believe Margrethe, 83, has been secretly preparing for abdication for more than a year, pointing back to the stripping of royal highness titles from the four children of her younger son Prince Joachim 15 months ago as a way of taking the heat off Frederik who would have been forced to do the same.
Crippled with back pain, Margrethe’s ongoing health is also a public concern. But most Danes don’t believe the shock abdication has anything to do with keeping the new king’s rocky marriage on track.
“The abdication is not something that the queen decided in the Christmas holidays,’’ Bach says. “The signs have been there if we look in the rear-view mirror’’.
After a quick private trip to New Zealand and Australia in December, Mary, Frederik and the children returned to Denmark for the festive season, enjoying Christmas at Marselisborg Palace in Aarhus with Margrethe and US-based Prince Joachim and his wife Princess Marie.
Bach said Mary had not only forged her own role in Danish life with her royal foundation, the Mary Foundation, helping the vulnerable and women, but that she understood she had to work as a team.
“One is not above the other; the king and the queen work together,’’ he said.
Cryptically, Mary referred to this during her own Christmas message, written in Danish: ‘We need each other if we are to succeed. And that’s not only true in the working world and for those of us who are working to combat social isolation. This is true for all of us. Humans need humans.”
Mary has previously spoken about Frederik’s “iron will” in his relationships, which many interpreted as a stubbornness.
The Danish public has hailed Mary’s constancy, steadiness and common sense as key factors in the enduring popularity of the Danish monarchy.
Path to being princess
Shortly after meeting Frederik in September 2000, Mary undertook a “Starmaker” course, an intensive eight-week study of deportment, etiquette and socialising skills to help her if the relationship, and a prospective future as a senior royal, were to last.
Frederik would come to Sydney frequently, including on Valentine’s Day in 2001 to enjoy the Bondi-to-Coogee seaside walk and trips to the Great Barrier Reef for snorkelling. Their blossoming romance was a tightly held secret and in Australia, Frederik was anonymous.
Mary then quit her backroom job at Belle Property, moved out of her Bondi Junction house share and moved to France for a short time to work teaching English and be close enough to pop over to Amalienborg Palace where she had a set of keys.
She threw herself into learning Danish – something that would pay off in spades as the main reason the Danish love her so much. Her near perfect flat intonation conversations with the locals endear her to them, especially when compared with the Queen’s husband, the former French diplomat, pianist and poet Count Henri de Laborde de Monpezat, who spoke Danish with a heavy French accent.
And while social-smoking Fred was falling in love with Mary’s relaxed Aussie style, her smarts and her love of horses, his penchant for lingerie models fell by the wayside.
Margrethe was ecstatic that her first-born had found such a class act. She liked Mary from their first coffee together.
Margrethe would later recount to Frederik: “We know how you found your true self; it happened when you met Mary. There was a spring in your mind and it blossomed around you.”
Coming together
The two had met at an ideal time at the height of the Sydney Olympics: Mary was 28, and her flatmate had invited her to an informal dinner of pizza with some European royals: Greek Prince Nikolaos, Norwegian Princess Martha and the two Danish brothers, Frederik and Joachim.
Frederik was then 32 and had just completed a four-month dog-sledding expedition across Greenland. He had also completed military courses in the navy, air force and army, including graduating as a special forces frogman in the prestigious Fromandskorpset, and had emerged with a new nickname, “Pingo”.
Fred and Mary’s lighthearted debate about hairy and hairless chests sparked a chord as they strolled after dinner towards the Star Bar in Darling Harbour. The cosiness extended to later in the evening at the Establishment Bar in the city and then onto the late-opening Q Bar in Oxford Street.
By the time of their wedding in 2004, Mary’s poise and sense of occasion were well formed. Now she is most comfortable in heels and wearing the heavyweight Danish highest order of chivalry, the diamond-encrusted Order of the Elephant, while on her glossy hairdo is to be found a ruby encrusted tiara commissioned by Napoleon Bonaparte.
Mary would later say how she was struck by Frederik’s handsomeness when he donned royal robes, and nowadays jokes about “men in Lycra” as her husband frequently runs marathons and cycles.
She helped him create the “Royal Run” to celebrate his 50th birthday a few years back and it has evolved into a hugely popular event across the country. Organisers have revealed Frederik will continue to participate in this year’s edition as the king.
Former prime minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt noted how Frederik’s “charm connection” was at a peak when he was embarking on his physical pursuits.
“When he finishes the Royal Run the people go crazy,” Thorning-Schmidt said.
“It’s so crazy. It is something he can do and it is where he comes into his own.’’
Australia’s ambassador to Denmark, Kerin Ayyalaraju, wished the crown prince and princess the best of luck and said all of Australia was proud of Mary.
“She is wonderful, and it is fantastic to see the way she has become such a significant part of Danish society,” Ayyalaraju said while at the palace this week for the Cure reception.
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