Afghanistan War: The wounds that never heal

There was no mistaking Hugh Poate’s tone as he learnt Australia was finally withdrawing from the war that took the life of his son.

Hugh and Janny Poate, the parents of Private Robert Poate, who died in Afghanistan. Picture: Gary Ramage

“Anger. Heartbreak. Pride. As you can probably tell from my tone.”

There was no mistaking Hugh Poate’s tone as he struggled to come to terms with the news that Australia was finally withdrawing from the war that took the life of his son.

Robert Poate was a larrikin but a born leader, his father says, who could have gone into officer training “but he wanted to get straight into action because Australia was at war”.

The pride is there always; the anger comes in flashes.

For so many still-grieving families across the country, Thursday’s announcement by Scott Morrison was bittersweet. Relief that it was over. Despair that it had ended like this.

For Felix Sher, whose commando son, Greg, was killed by a rocket attack in 2009, his memory was of a young Jewish soldier who had gone to Afghanistan to protect Muslims.

For Bree Till, who was just one month shy of her first wedding anniversary when she received the devastating news that her husband had been killed in action on the battlefields of Afghanistan.

She was eight weeks pregnant with the son Sergeant Brett “JT” Till never got to know. “My husband’s death burnt a hole in my soul,” she says.

Sergeant Till’s memory was enough to move the Prime Minister to tears on Thursday while announcing the withdrawal of Australian troops. “I was particularly thinking of Bree Till from my own electorate,” he said.

“Her son, who was also Brett’s son, is in the same class as one of my daughters and I remember when Brett was killed … it reminded me of what it must have been like in our country when you think back to the first and second World Wars.

“These 41 lives lost so terribly and I saw so awfully the pain of Brett’s widow and his surviving children and his yet-unborn boy.

“They carry that loss with them every single day and it is a reminder to all of us to be so grateful for their service.”

Australian deaths in Afghanistan

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Forty-one lives lost, each one a wound that never heals.

Robert Poate grew up in Canberra, a popular young man who wanted to follow in the family footsteps: a great grandfather who served as a doctor at Gallipoli; a great uncle who flew Spitfires in World War II.

Private Poate joined Mentoring Team Bravo, part of the 3 RAR Task Group.

On August 29, 2012, at patrol base Wahab in Afghanistan, he and two of his mates, Sapper James Martin and Lance Corporal Stjepan (Rick) Milosevic, were gunned down by a Taliban infiltrator.

The killer was 19-year-old Sergeant Hekmatullah, who had joined the Afghan National Army expressly to kill Australian soldiers. It was the fourth insider, or “green-on-blue”, attack in 15 months.

Robert Poate had gone to Afghanistan to make a difference, but he wasn’t naive. “My son said before he went on that taskforce that he expected to see significant action because the Taliban will want to look as though they have driven the Western forces out of the country. And my son, who was only a private, said: everybody knows that the Taliban will take over again.”

Hugh Poate struggles to bring out the next sentence: “Which they have.”

If his son could see it then, he asks, why couldn’t the generals and politicians? What took them so long?

For this father, the withdrawal of our troops comes 10 years too late.

“The prime minister at the time, John Howard said there were two reasons,” he says. “One was to destroy the al-Q’aida training camps, the other was to kill Osama bin Laden. There was no mention at all that we should go to war with the Taliban.

“We’ve achieved nothing. Those lives had been lost in vain. Absolutely lost in vain. The 41 killed in action. And 500 who have since taken their own lives. That is an absolute disgrace. And why did it take so long for our government to make this decision? That’s the big question I ask.”

Mr Poate doesn’t blame Mr Morrison; it wasn’t his war.

Now the most bitter pill to swallow: with Australia’s withdrawal, Robert’s killer, Hekmatullah, will almost certainly walk free, if he isn’t already.

For Ms Till, there is comfort in knowing her husband mates made it home, part of the army family that gathered around her.

Brett Till, affectionately known as “JT”, had been working with a group of explosive ordnance engineers when he was killed by an improvised explosive device he was attempting to disarm in southern Afghanistan on March 19, 2009.

The 31-year-old died instantly, leaving Ms Till to care for his two children from a previous marriage and prepare for the arrival of their son, Ziggy, later that year.

Hearing about Australia’s decision to withdraw from the war-torn country after two decades on the grounds, she paused to remember the sacrifice her family has paid to protect those unable to protect themselves.

Margaret Gunnell, mother of commando Tim Aplin who was killed in Afghanistan. Picture: Lyndon Mechielsen

“My husband’s death burnt a hole in my soul. I cherish that wound with gratitude for the moments we had, for the family we grew, for the wisdom I earn through anguish,” she said.

“Death is enduring, a loss that is felt a lifetime.

“I lost my best friend. The big kids lost their rock, their guide, their role model. Ziggy has spent his whole lifetime conceptualising a father he never had the privilege of meeting. I had to compartmentalise a flood of grief to safely carry our son, oblivious to how easy he could have been lost.’’

For Tim Aplin’s mother Margaret Gunnell, the news that Australian troops would be coming home again stirred emotions never far from the surface. “He was a wonderful, wonderful man, a big, tall, generous person,” she said.

The Prime Minister’s announcement has done nothing to change her view that the Afghanistan conflict was a “useless war”.