‘Deeply sad’: Grieving jockey Michelle Payne and the power of resilience

A resilient Michelle Payne, who tragically lost her sister this week, offers words of advice for young women and girls to mark International Women’s Day.

Michelle Payne at her property in Victoria this week just before she learnt of the death of her sister, Bernadette. Picture: Alex Coppel

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The most powerful messages are lived as well as spoken. A heartbroken Michelle Payne hopes to respond to her latest family tragedy by dusting herself off and getting back to work at Flemington Racecourse on International Women’s Day. She’s a walking, talking example of the power of resilience.

“I’m OK, thank you,” Payne tells The Australian after the passing this week of her sister, Bernadette. “We are so deeply sad. Not sure about Flemington at this stage – but most likely yes.”

Payne is achingly humble, down-to-earth, dignified. At the risk of embarrassing her, she’s also become one of the great Australians. The 39-year-old revolutionised racing as a trailblazing jockey before staying deeply involved as a trainer. Personally, belying the radiant and optimistic disposition, her life hasn’t always been a rails run.

Payne was a toddler when her mother, Mary, passed away. She was raised by her father, Paddy, and nine older siblings at Miner’s Rest in country Victoria. She lost a sister, Brigid, 36, to a heart attack in 2007. Bernadette, 51, died this week. Payne was informed just minutes after floating almost angelically through the photo shoot that accompanies this yarn. There’s been an outpouring of sympathy for one of Australia’s most famous and beloved figures and families.

“Our family feels so grateful and appreciate for all the love and support,” Payne says. “We thank everyone for the love and understanding. We’re very grateful for the support received for Bernadette and us from Racing Victoria and our close friends through a very difficult time.”

Smokin’ Princess is scheduled to contest the Matron Stakes. Payne trains the mare with her brother. Regardless of book­makers odds as Smokin’ Princess chases a fourth straight win, sentimental favouritism is hers after the weeks the Paynes have endured. Go you good things on International Women’s Day.

“I’m still very involved in the racing industry, now training horses,” Payne says. “I think it’s really important to find a passion and something you love.

“I’ve been really lucky to work with these magnificent animals my whole life, and now training them is the next step that brings that adrenaline and excitement I’ve loved my whole life. I think it’s very important to find that, and I’m very grateful.”

Payne has always been resilient and then some. Resilient enough to continue riding after sickening falls as an apprentice jockey left her with a fractured skull, bruised brain and broken wrist. Resilient enough to return to the saddle after surgery for a torn pancreas and severe abdominal injuries. Resilient enough to become the first female jockey to win the Melbourne Cup. Famously, fantastically, she told her doubters to “get stuffed” after Prince of Penzance saluted at 100/1. “They think women aren’t strong enough but we just beat the world,” she said at the time.

Michelle Payne dressed for the races with her sisters Bernadette Payne, Maree Prebble, and Cathy McEvoy. Picture: Alex Coppel

A decade later, she says: “When I first started there were very few female jockeys and it looked a bit impossible, especially to dream of the Melbourne Cup. Now … it’s looking really promising. It makes me really proud to be standing here strong. I’m really excited for the future. Ten years on from the Melbourne Cup, I really look on it with immense pride knowing so many years of hard work and perseverance went into it. It’s just amazing to think I was the lucky one to be able to win.

“Resilience, I feel, is looking at things on the positive side,” she says. “Facing things head on at the time is hard but I find it’s a better way in the end. I think bouncing back is a very valuable life skill. Dwelling and sitting around feeling sorry for yourself is not got to help any situation.”

Payne describes Smokin’ Princess as beautiful, strong and well-mannered. No wonder they get along. Smokin’ Princess may say the same of her trainer.

“She doesn’t get fazed by anything,” Payne says. “She has a stoic sense of presence about her with a lovely nature. I love being around my horses, especially when you have built relationships with them and made bonds with their personalities.”

Comparing the emotions of training and riding winners, Payne says: “The feeling of training a winner is a beautiful sense of achievement with your team and horses. We form these trusting relationships and bonding friendships and it’s just a very proud feeling for all of us when we’re watching them getting out there and competing.”

Michelle Payne celebrates after winning the Melbourne Cup on Prince of Penzance at Flemington Racecourse in Melbourne, Tuesday, November 3, 2015. (AAP Image/Julian Smith)

Payne is credited with inspiring the spectacular rise in women wanting to become jockeys. In a staggering statistic, 31 of the 40 riders involved in Victoria Racing’s apprentice programs are young women. The participation rate of 77 per cent compares to 48 per cent a decade ago. It’s the Payne effect, polite and powerful.

Not every young woman can win the Melbourne Cup, receive an OAM and become a beloved household name. Not every young woman should aspire to.

Payne’s message on International Women’s Day is to find what you love, try your best, and enjoy it. That simple. Keep resilience in your back pocket because there will be times when you need it. Like the times you’ll try to turn up at Flemington on Super Saturday and let your actions speak louder than your words.

“I’d say to all the young teenagers out there, really follow your dreams and passion,” she says. “Don’t let anything get in the way of that. While it may be a lot of hard work, perseverance is key.”