‘It feels like we’re in a jail and only Melburnians get it’

Tens of thousands of Victorian parents are struggling to juggle the challenges of working from home and full-time parenting.  

Brittney and Ryan Wohling with their daughter Remi. Picture: Aaron Francis

Melbourne schoolteacher Brittney Wohling is worn out. The 32-year-old mother admits the coronavirus has exacted a heavy toll on her career, challenged her parenting style and put a strain on her general, domestic life.

“It feels like we’re in a jail and only Melburnians get it,” she says.

“It’s a vicious cycle because we are so tired and can’t break the cycle. When we came out of the first lockdown, it was like a light at the end of the tunnel because I was so excited to see my Mum and Dad and our friends, but that’s all gone now.”

Ms Wohling and her construction worker husband Ryan are parents to two-year-old Remi.

Their professional roles have been up-ended by the pandemic — Mr Wohling works only every second week on-site while his schoolteacher wife struggles with virtual classes with Remi in tow.

“My students often ask me, ‘Who is that crying in the background?’,” she says.

“The other day I hosted an online assembly with 165 parents and students and she was screaming in the background. I just feel exhausted all the time.”

The Wohlings are among tens of thousands of Victorian parents juggling the challenges of working from home and full-time ­parenting.

The latest LinkedIn Workforce Confidence Index found almost half of all working parents had been forced to shift to non-­standard hours in order to meet work and family duties. The research also revealed that most female professionals found they were unable to focus on work with their children at home, while 38 per cent of men were more likely to feel challenged by juggling responsibilities, compared with 20 per cent of women.

Both men and women surveyed over two weeks in August equally reported that they were providing for their children’s education at home, but female working parents were more likely to feel the “burden” of full-time childcare by themselves.

Matt Tindale, managing director of LinkedIn Australia & NZ, said while more than half of the men said they were alternating childcare duties, just 39 per cent of women responded similarly, indicating a “potential disconnect in the way Aussies recognise the balancing of childcare duties”.

“Likewise, women were more likely to feel pressure to provide childcare by themselves,” he said.

Ms Wohling said she had ­“relaxed” her parenting routine during the forced lockdown, and was concerned that this had affected her daughter’s behaviour.

“I worry that she’s turning into a bit of a brat that gets what she wants because I need a break so I have to give into her.

“Her behaviour and personality is changing because I don’t have a break from her and don’t have any support,” she said.

“I’m just like, ‘OK, you want your dummy, you can have it, you want dessert, you can have it’.

“I’m just doing what I can to survive. And when she goes to childcare on her weeks on, she just screams because she doesn’t want to leave me.

“She’s not stimulated enough because she can’t go out and run around much, so getting her to sleep takes hours and hours.

“She’ll be kicking and thrashing, so I’ll be trying to keep re­settling her. We’ve fallen into too much screen time, which I know is bad, but she’s just exhausted.”

The silence of the late evening when Remi is sleeping are often the only alone hours Ms Wohling has to prepare her lesson plans.

“I’ve found that I’ve ended up doing much more work after hours.

“There are some days I think this is not so bad, she is well behaved, has had a good night’s sleep, and I think we can do this, but it’s up and down.”

The young family moved from Darwin to Melbourne last year to be able to access family support from Ms Wohling’s parents in Victoria, but Remi has not seen her grandparents since June.

“We thought family would be a lifeline, but we’ve been cut off.

“She [Remi] is crying for her nanny and pop,” Ms Wohling said.

For Mr Wohling, the financial burden of the lockdown has proved a massive challenge.

“Only working every second week is the hardest. It’s so stressful and there’s no end in sight — it just goes on. The uncertainty is the hardest thing,” he says.

“I just feel like there’s not a lot of hope for us. I’m trying to be positive, but it’s very hard.”